This week marks 25 years since my wife and I had our first date. Back then Id recently learned the terms BBW and FA, hadnt ever heard of feeder, feedee, encourager, gainer, BHM
. In full hindsight I was a slightly chubby mutual gainer who was otherwise pretty vanilla and she was an almost thin foodie with a big appetite and an interest in aspects of sub/dom things, which made for some interesting misconceptions on my part for some time.
Anyway, after 25 years Ive learned a few things as an FA, partner, and guy here are 25 of them (FA edition), mostly written to myself more than anything, but I hope they might be of some use to someone else too.
1) The received wisdom of my young peers was wrong, you cant know what a young woman will look like in her forties by looking at her mother.
2) That she indulges a hearty appetite does not mean that she wants to gain weight.
3) Reasons to control ones weight go far beyond attracting a partner.
4) Conversely, being partner with an FA does not mean she is going to feel free to gain without restraint.
5) Weight loss happens, and I can find other things to admire.
6) Weight loss doesnt usually last; be patient.
7) A body in motion is way more interesting than a body at rest, so encouraging an active lifestyle is good for the FA side as well as being an all-around good idea.
8) Im no good at all at being domit never hurts to push ones limits, but at the same time it pays to know your strong and weak areas.
9) Hand feeding someone for any length of time can get boring.
10) Before making plans to drizzle someone in chocolate sauce and then lick it off, figure out how much chocolate sauce you can consume before you are sick of it.
11) Eating healthy food makes us feel better in all sorts of ways.
12) When buying clothes for your partner, having it be too big or too small both have their risks. Think carefully!
13) Silk has no give, so is extra hard to size right, and may see limited use if her size is changing.
14) It is OK to occasionally give lingerie that youd love to see her wear, even if she wont really wear it other than to show it onceit says you see her in that way.
15) Some activities are fine with more weight, if a bit slower (like biking). Others really fall off far more quickly, like cross country skiing.
16) That she is OK with being a certain degree fat doesnt mean she will be equally OK with you being equally fat.
17) Motherhood may be sexy as hell to you, that doesnt mean it makes her feel sexy at all.
18) Libido levels change with time and circumstances, dont take it personally.
19) Shes usually right, and on the rare occasions that she isnt it may be worth it to let her be right anyway.
20) No matter how hot you think she is, most of the time she wants your attention on her thoughts and feelings more than on her body.
21) Clothes shopping can be frustrating, exhausting, and downright depressing, if one cant find stuff to make them look the way they want to look.
22) Obviously you dont deliberately plan things that will make her feel all of how fat she is, but you can be overprotective in tryng to avoid those scenarios. Take some chances, and if occasionally she struggles because of size or weight, appreciate the momentary reminder of how fat she actually is even as you try to contain the situation.
23) Just because she is fat doesnt mean shell prefer to surround herself with other fat people, no matter how much you think that is a good idea.
24) Happy wife, happy life.
25) Be grateful for all the awesome
Anyway, after 25 years Ive learned a few things as an FA, partner, and guy here are 25 of them (FA edition), mostly written to myself more than anything, but I hope they might be of some use to someone else too.
1) The received wisdom of my young peers was wrong, you cant know what a young woman will look like in her forties by looking at her mother.
2) That she indulges a hearty appetite does not mean that she wants to gain weight.
3) Reasons to control ones weight go far beyond attracting a partner.
4) Conversely, being partner with an FA does not mean she is going to feel free to gain without restraint.
5) Weight loss happens, and I can find other things to admire.
6) Weight loss doesnt usually last; be patient.
7) A body in motion is way more interesting than a body at rest, so encouraging an active lifestyle is good for the FA side as well as being an all-around good idea.
8) Im no good at all at being domit never hurts to push ones limits, but at the same time it pays to know your strong and weak areas.
9) Hand feeding someone for any length of time can get boring.
10) Before making plans to drizzle someone in chocolate sauce and then lick it off, figure out how much chocolate sauce you can consume before you are sick of it.
11) Eating healthy food makes us feel better in all sorts of ways.
12) When buying clothes for your partner, having it be too big or too small both have their risks. Think carefully!
13) Silk has no give, so is extra hard to size right, and may see limited use if her size is changing.
14) It is OK to occasionally give lingerie that youd love to see her wear, even if she wont really wear it other than to show it onceit says you see her in that way.
15) Some activities are fine with more weight, if a bit slower (like biking). Others really fall off far more quickly, like cross country skiing.
16) That she is OK with being a certain degree fat doesnt mean she will be equally OK with you being equally fat.
17) Motherhood may be sexy as hell to you, that doesnt mean it makes her feel sexy at all.
18) Libido levels change with time and circumstances, dont take it personally.
19) Shes usually right, and on the rare occasions that she isnt it may be worth it to let her be right anyway.
20) No matter how hot you think she is, most of the time she wants your attention on her thoughts and feelings more than on her body.
21) Clothes shopping can be frustrating, exhausting, and downright depressing, if one cant find stuff to make them look the way they want to look.
22) Obviously you dont deliberately plan things that will make her feel all of how fat she is, but you can be overprotective in tryng to avoid those scenarios. Take some chances, and if occasionally she struggles because of size or weight, appreciate the momentary reminder of how fat she actually is even as you try to contain the situation.
23) Just because she is fat doesnt mean shell prefer to surround herself with other fat people, no matter how much you think that is a good idea.
24) Happy wife, happy life.
25) Be grateful for all the awesome
