Ben from England
Well-Known Member
~BBW, Romance, Self-realization - a young closeted FA finally outs himself
I'd always loved fat girls, but had always struggled with becoming an uncloseted FA. The obvious advice of 'if they're really your friends they'll understand' didn't help much. I think that when one person breaks from the sexual preference status quo it exposes insecurities and uncertainties others may feel.
Much in the same way that homosexuality threatens traditional heterosexual preferences, liking a fat girl threatens those that like thin girls by contradicting their values and can make them if not hostile at least prone to jocularity. At least that was my fear, and I didn't want to be laughed at..
Also, in much the same way i guess BBW's can feel isolated in a society where thin is in, it's hard not being able to relate to the guys I've grown up with on certain levels, especially without any type of size acceptance community to fall back on.
Compounding this, BBW's, in my experience, are few and far between. Maybe it was just my area but the fat girls just weren't around, definitely not in the night clubs, and when, like an eclipse, a gorgeous girl happened to be where i was they certainly tended to be lacking in confidence, rather suspicious and overly self-conscious.
My friends, not know my preference but knowing I wasn't gay, were forever trying to set me up with some girl or another, pushing me on girls they found attractive but left me cold. It wasn't their fault - I hadn't communicated. But it was on one such expedition that everything would change.
It was a friend of a friend's birthday. My friends had brought me along to set me up with her. She was quite a pretty girl and we'd made idle chit-chat about 'stuff' and somewhat annoyingly i was sprayed in glitter spray stuff because it was a glitter party or something. Like always it was pretty much devoid of that spark.
Then, on a trip to the bar i spotted an utterly gorgeous BBW standing with a friend (this was perfect, because the other killer in clubs and pubs is approaching a group of girls and then showing interest in the one that isn't supposed to get any attention. It's daunting and usually ended badly the few times i tried).
I noticed her, a stunning 300 lbish pear with short brown hair, but thought nothing of it. She was quite a bit older than me, and my night was already preprogrammed anyway.
The evening, however, continued. On another of my many trips across to the bar that night I looked toward her again. This time she caught me looking and smiled. I didn't know what to do and just kind of smiled like an idiot back and turned to the barman.
A bit later on again we made eye contact. This time we shared a more prolonged smile.
At this point I began making excuses to walk past her and share a smile. After a few times she commented on the glitter that was sprayed all over my face. I smiled sheepishly and said something I can't even remember in reply. I had been getting drunker as the night went on, but one advantage of this drunkenness was the dutch courage it gave me.
As I came back across the bar from the toilet I noticed her friend was at the bar and she was standing. I moved in and said something. We started talking. She was kind of suspicious, kind of attracted and highly amused I think that someone so much younger was perusing her. She radiated a sense of confidence though, and flirted voraciously with me. I was utterly entranced, and even my friend's chiding (which, yes, by this point was occurring) fell on deaf ears. If I was being finally outed I was sloshed enough that I just didn't care
She had a strapped top on, and when my hand touched the skin of her shoulder I felt more emotion than I ever had boredly kissing any of the girls I'd encountered in similar environments before. "So this is how arousal feels," I thought.
I had to leave, having promised to follow my friends to some night club across town. I asked her if she would meet me, and she said she would. It felt like the longest que for a club i had ever waited in.
I got in to the club d waited. After forty minutes or so I spotted her. A very fat woman in her mid-thirties ambling alone across a dance floor, a floor occupied by hundreds of people at least ten years older than her. The confidence of this act in itself made me smile.
I met her in the middle, she looked slightly flustered and very out of place, maybe amazed that I had followed through. But she didn't back off. I put my arms around her soft shoulders, I felt her hands around my waist. We danced and continued to flirt for a bit. Her hands slipped down lower and lower and we moved closer and closer together. It felt like the greatest night of my life so far, then she asked if I wanted to go back to her place. Needless to say, we left the club.
I vividly remember walking to a taxi with her, her arm around my waist, mine around hers, her walk an adorable waddle.
We got to the taxi and I helped her into the back. She told the driver where to go and sighed at the extortion of the whole journey from the club. Then she looked over at me smiling. I leaned over and we kissed, my hand reaching across her body and resting on her soft thigh.
We kissed and rubbed up against each other for the entire ten minute drive.
I followed her into her house, where she put on some music and asked if i wanted a drink. I said yes, and when she came back into the room and flopped down into the seat next to me I just looked at her and smiled. Her proportions were such that we couldn't kiss sitting next to one another comfortably, and so she kind of rolled over in between my legs and we kissed i that fashion. I touched her soft breasts and before long we were in the bedroom.
She stripped down in front of me, again betraying no lack of confidence. She was not a self conscious fat girl; this, I recognized, was a woman from the same mold as those I had admired on the boards of Dimensions.
The sex can probably best be described as a fantastic mess. I explored every inch of her body until we were exhausted, and then we slept next to one another, my hand across he side, her soft belly and thigh sitting atop my body.
Afterwards I knew I needed to share the ecstasy of this moment. I'm glad that dimensions is here because I really wanted to share this pivotal moment in my life somewhere. That evening was the time that I publicly and truly became an FA. It's not that what my friends and family say isn't a pain in the arse, because it is; it's just that I realize being an FA is well worth it.
Ode to Mandy - My First BBW
by Ben from England
(a reportedly true story -
adapted from a post on the Dimensions Main Forum by Ben from England)
by Ben from England
(a reportedly true story -
adapted from a post on the Dimensions Main Forum by Ben from England)
I'd always loved fat girls, but had always struggled with becoming an uncloseted FA. The obvious advice of 'if they're really your friends they'll understand' didn't help much. I think that when one person breaks from the sexual preference status quo it exposes insecurities and uncertainties others may feel.
Much in the same way that homosexuality threatens traditional heterosexual preferences, liking a fat girl threatens those that like thin girls by contradicting their values and can make them if not hostile at least prone to jocularity. At least that was my fear, and I didn't want to be laughed at..
Also, in much the same way i guess BBW's can feel isolated in a society where thin is in, it's hard not being able to relate to the guys I've grown up with on certain levels, especially without any type of size acceptance community to fall back on.
Compounding this, BBW's, in my experience, are few and far between. Maybe it was just my area but the fat girls just weren't around, definitely not in the night clubs, and when, like an eclipse, a gorgeous girl happened to be where i was they certainly tended to be lacking in confidence, rather suspicious and overly self-conscious.
My friends, not know my preference but knowing I wasn't gay, were forever trying to set me up with some girl or another, pushing me on girls they found attractive but left me cold. It wasn't their fault - I hadn't communicated. But it was on one such expedition that everything would change.
It was a friend of a friend's birthday. My friends had brought me along to set me up with her. She was quite a pretty girl and we'd made idle chit-chat about 'stuff' and somewhat annoyingly i was sprayed in glitter spray stuff because it was a glitter party or something. Like always it was pretty much devoid of that spark.
Then, on a trip to the bar i spotted an utterly gorgeous BBW standing with a friend (this was perfect, because the other killer in clubs and pubs is approaching a group of girls and then showing interest in the one that isn't supposed to get any attention. It's daunting and usually ended badly the few times i tried).
I noticed her, a stunning 300 lbish pear with short brown hair, but thought nothing of it. She was quite a bit older than me, and my night was already preprogrammed anyway.
The evening, however, continued. On another of my many trips across to the bar that night I looked toward her again. This time she caught me looking and smiled. I didn't know what to do and just kind of smiled like an idiot back and turned to the barman.
A bit later on again we made eye contact. This time we shared a more prolonged smile.
At this point I began making excuses to walk past her and share a smile. After a few times she commented on the glitter that was sprayed all over my face. I smiled sheepishly and said something I can't even remember in reply. I had been getting drunker as the night went on, but one advantage of this drunkenness was the dutch courage it gave me.
As I came back across the bar from the toilet I noticed her friend was at the bar and she was standing. I moved in and said something. We started talking. She was kind of suspicious, kind of attracted and highly amused I think that someone so much younger was perusing her. She radiated a sense of confidence though, and flirted voraciously with me. I was utterly entranced, and even my friend's chiding (which, yes, by this point was occurring) fell on deaf ears. If I was being finally outed I was sloshed enough that I just didn't care
She had a strapped top on, and when my hand touched the skin of her shoulder I felt more emotion than I ever had boredly kissing any of the girls I'd encountered in similar environments before. "So this is how arousal feels," I thought.
I had to leave, having promised to follow my friends to some night club across town. I asked her if she would meet me, and she said she would. It felt like the longest que for a club i had ever waited in.
I got in to the club d waited. After forty minutes or so I spotted her. A very fat woman in her mid-thirties ambling alone across a dance floor, a floor occupied by hundreds of people at least ten years older than her. The confidence of this act in itself made me smile.
I met her in the middle, she looked slightly flustered and very out of place, maybe amazed that I had followed through. But she didn't back off. I put my arms around her soft shoulders, I felt her hands around my waist. We danced and continued to flirt for a bit. Her hands slipped down lower and lower and we moved closer and closer together. It felt like the greatest night of my life so far, then she asked if I wanted to go back to her place. Needless to say, we left the club.
I vividly remember walking to a taxi with her, her arm around my waist, mine around hers, her walk an adorable waddle.
We got to the taxi and I helped her into the back. She told the driver where to go and sighed at the extortion of the whole journey from the club. Then she looked over at me smiling. I leaned over and we kissed, my hand reaching across her body and resting on her soft thigh.
We kissed and rubbed up against each other for the entire ten minute drive.
I followed her into her house, where she put on some music and asked if i wanted a drink. I said yes, and when she came back into the room and flopped down into the seat next to me I just looked at her and smiled. Her proportions were such that we couldn't kiss sitting next to one another comfortably, and so she kind of rolled over in between my legs and we kissed i that fashion. I touched her soft breasts and before long we were in the bedroom.
She stripped down in front of me, again betraying no lack of confidence. She was not a self conscious fat girl; this, I recognized, was a woman from the same mold as those I had admired on the boards of Dimensions.
The sex can probably best be described as a fantastic mess. I explored every inch of her body until we were exhausted, and then we slept next to one another, my hand across he side, her soft belly and thigh sitting atop my body.
Afterwards I knew I needed to share the ecstasy of this moment. I'm glad that dimensions is here because I really wanted to share this pivotal moment in my life somewhere. That evening was the time that I publicly and truly became an FA. It's not that what my friends and family say isn't a pain in the arse, because it is; it's just that I realize being an FA is well worth it.
