Asperger's Syndrome and FA-dom

Discussion in 'BBW/FA Board' started by blubrluvr, Dec 3, 2011.

  1. Dec 30, 2011 #81

    CastingPearls

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    non-sequiter--there are many people who are attracted to fat people and are repulsed by that attraction and try to suppress it and are even very hostile to fat people. We all have our anecdotes. Hell, there are many fat people who are repulsed by their own bodies and other fat people. My point is, that it doesn't surprise me at all that someone would change their 'party affiliation' to justify their conflicting thought processes and then attack anyone who threatens their stance du jour.
     
  2. Dec 30, 2011 #82

    Jack Secret

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    The fat equivalent of something I heard of in the gay community… "A fag hating ******".

     
  3. Dec 30, 2011 #83

    Bananaspills

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    I don't have anything very useful to say, but I love reading this thread... Especially the input by all the Aspies. My little boy has Asperger's and I wouldn't change it, I like that he's different and how quirky it makes him. (Granted, if he was more strongly affected I might feel differently, I don't know...)
    Also, he's only 5 but yeah my DH and I joke he's a FA in the making, because he loves running into me and bouncing off my butt, and also stroking my arms to settle himself (not his dad's more muscular arms, just my chubby ones.) He does have some problems with eye contact, but he has always been tactile and cuddly.
    I forgot to mention my DH is also a FA (he always prefered bigger women and doesn't tend to find thin women attractive, from what he's told me) and although he was never diagnosed he believes he has some degree of Asperger's, and that our son got it from him. There's my totally worthless anecdote of the day :D
     
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  4. Jan 2, 2012 #84

    Ernest Nagel

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    I'm not sure we'll ever have enough data to support or disprove correlation but there's something I'm willing to speculate on. Maybe it's just a resonance based on shared experience? Aspy's and BBW both understand what it's like to be judged/excluded solely because of superficial characteristics. We're both books that are often judged by our covers. Maybe for that simple reason we're a little more willing to take the time to see below the surface?

    I've also discovered that a disproportionate percentage of BBW have a profound and radiant inner beauty. Not to say that conventionally beautiful women can't have bright souls or that BBW can't be bitches to the core but my experience favors BBW. I freely admit my bias, of course.

    The heart still wants what the heart wants, though. That said, only BBW have taken the time to see past my coarse and awkward surface to the almost decent, randomly funny and occasionally sweet guy underneath. You could say they're less picky but I choose to think of them as more discerning and less judgmental. :happy:
     
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  5. May 18, 2013 #85

    Aspendos

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    I was diagnosed with Asperger's only this week and am a fat gay man (bear type, 180 kilo). I happened across this thread because I'm looking to meet gay FAs who don't mind my Asperger's (i.e. who might have Asperger's themselves).

    Anyone interested, please PM me.
     
  6. Jul 4, 2013 #86

    EverybodysDracula

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    I kinda dropped off the map from last year when I was about to post in this thread but it's worth mentioning I have Asperger's and I recall a time when Aspies got railroaded off the internet's forums if one dared to mention you had this condition people assumed did not exist, but this place seems safe enough so yeah.

    I know some autistic spectrum types hate tactile stuff and cuddling but I've always liked tactile cuddly stuff but so far have had no opportunity to explore my sense of FA self other than the fact that my attraction to plump women I can cuddle into like awesome lady teddy bears (I apologise if this seems weird or sexist, I just love cuddly plump women who love being cuddled since most of my life I've not been in a family of huggers apart from my mother).

    I get worried I won't ever find the right person especially in Australia where the dating pool is a bit weird due to a smaller population. I just wouldn't know where to meet a nice BBW who'd let me snuggle up to her and smooch her. My friends drag me out to night clubs sometimes but I have a very strong reaction to loud club music that makes me want to flee the vicinity like I'm Malcolm McDowell fleeing Beethoven's 9th, only in this case the music isn't that good so I'm okay with not liking it.

    I'm very, very new to grappling with my FA status since I'm very inexperienced with dating women at all, haven't had a girlfriend yet and both times I asked out a BBW girl in high school out on a date I was both rejected by them and laughed at by my classmates. I can't really say I'm bitter about women because in order to be bitter about women you have to go through a number of break ups like my twin brother did, he's in a relationship now but the way he depicts commitment in the way he talks about his relationships I get the feeling that my twin brother is giving me horrible advice about how life works based on his horrendously corrupting college experience in Queensland, whereas I ended up studying close to home with my parents in Sydney. I'm just green enough to be full of innocence and wonder about romance but also beaten down enough times to be terrified of trying to ask anyone out, BBW or not.
     
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  7. Aug 27, 2013 #87

    moonvine

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    Hasn't Asperger's been removed from the DSM?
     
  8. Aug 27, 2013 #88

    Aspendos

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    Not everyone lives in the United States. In other countries the ICD-10 of the World Health Organization is used and Asperger's has not been removed from that manual. Also, everyone diagnosed with Asperger's in the US keeps their diagnosis until they are re-assessed, when in most cases they will get a new diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder instead.
     
  9. Aug 27, 2013 #89

    Tad

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    The great white north, eh?
    And interestingly enough, just as it was removed from the DSM, this study came out of Harvard Medical school: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23902729

    It compared neurotypical kids, kids with diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome, and those with a diagnosis of autism. It built on a previous study which had found differences in connectedness of certain parts of the brains between neurotypical and autistic kids. When you compare the Asperger’s kids in those same ways, they look more like the autistic kids than the neurotypical kids, so in that way you could say that Asperger’s is mild Autism.

    However, when they look in more detail at the Asperger’s kids versus the Autistic kids, they found some clear differences, and that with high confidence level they could distinguish the brains of the kids with an Asperger’s diagnosis from those with an Autism one. That there is a clear and measurable difference implies that they are not really the same thing, and that those diagnoses had a real validity to them. (It doesn’t show up in the summary that I linked to, but if you read the whole thing they find that there is one measure where there is even less connectedness in the Asperger’s kids, but that in another they have a very high level of connectedness, suggesting possibly a compensating mechanism where they make up for challenges in some areas by building on a strength in another)

    Given which, I wonder how many professionals in the field will resist changing an Asperger’s diagnosis to an Autism one, at least for anything other than insurance or other official purposes that require a DSM category?

    (Thanks to Dromond, I think it was, who had linked to this study in a post elsewhere on the boards)
     
  10. Aug 27, 2013 #90

    Oldtimer76

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  11. Aug 27, 2013 #91

    Tad

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    The great white north, eh?
    Hey Gourneau, I'm glad that you made at least some sort of connection to help, by the sounds of it.

    I would assume that there must be some Asperger support forums out there? (I don't know, but it is the net, what isn't out there somewhere?). Could be worth searching for, as you may find more people who have been where you are and have advise that might better fit your life. Not that there aren't some aspies here, but I think it is kind of a limited pool? Also people who will offer good wishes, of course, but without understanding what it is like to be in your head, it is hard to offer advice about what might help, I think?

    Anyway, best of luck, and keep working on improving the situation. Sometimes it is amazing where we can get, if we can just keep putting one foot in front of the other (figuratively speaking, although I suppose literally too).
     
  12. Dec 26, 2016 #92

    adam

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    I wasn't diagnosed with high functioning asperger's until I was well into my 40's, but a lot of things I couldn't understand throughout my life now make sense.

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using Tapatalk
     
  13. Jan 28, 2017 #93

    TwoSwords

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    ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) is a classification of neurological conditions, related to the structure of the human brain, and is therefore a legitimate medical condition that can be diagnosed, but, because it involves the structure of the brain, it cannot and will not be "cured." ASD is also an umbrella term for five sub-conditions, formerly referred to as "Autism," "Asperger's Syndrome," "Disintegrative Childhood Disorder," "Rett Syndrome" and "Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified." Because all of these conditions are so similar, and draw their symptoms from the same overall pool, the current consensus is that these conditions should no longer be separated, which is why they're often referred to as "Autism Spectrum Disorder" or "ASD."

    Now, the reason why I say that ASD has a "pool" of symptoms, is that the symptoms of ASD can actually be contrary to each other, from being unable to comprehend the emotions of others, to being overly-sympathetic to others' emotions. For this reason, it's impossible for anyone to have *all* of the symptoms in the ASD pool, though some will have more than others, and some with have some symptoms more strongly than others do.

    The link between ASD and sexuality is not at all well understood, but we do know that there is a correlation between ASD and non-standard feelings of attraction. Some feel attraction very early, some very late, some not at all, some to things that others can't appreciate, etc, and that's where the FA link comes in.

    Now, it's possible that some of those with ASD have something in their brains, which forces them to react only or mainly to certain stimuli as attractive. It's also possible that many more people have these feelings, but that those with ASD, already being social outcasts in other areas, are less concerned with the social ramifications of expressing this aspect of themselves openly. We don't know what the precise link is yet, because the human brain is still strange and uncharted to a large degree.

    So there you go. Ultimately, the answer is... there is a connection, but we don't really know what it is yet.
     
  14. Sep 10, 2017 #94

    fatgrllvr

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    I've been an FA since sexuality first smacked me upside the head at age 11. Recently (about one hundred years later), I've learned that I'm also an aspie. The latter discovery has explained many things I've never understood about myself.

    I'm not sure if my Asperger's explains my being an FA (which I prefer to attribute to good taste), but I guess there could be a connection. It does seem like there are quite a few aspies on this thread, and we do tend to be far less influenced by society's accepted opinions and "norms" than most neurotypicals (non-aspies).

    To digress a little, I'm sad that the American psychiatric community decided to dissolve the Asperger's classification into the general autism spectrum. It seems as though it would have made more sense to continue addressing this syndrome as a specific autism subset, since it has its own peculiar range of characteristics. Oh, well.
     
  15. Sep 11, 2017 #95

    loopytheone

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    Also autistic and also an FA, chiming in to say that I agree pretty much completely with TwoSwords on this; he's said everything I have to say on the topic.

    Being less aware of peer pressure might be another aspect to it as well. I don't understand peer pressure and I don't think I ever will; I don't care what other people like, dislike, want or hate. Literally as long as people don't throw things at me or hit me with things, I really couldn't care less what they do.
     
  16. Sep 11, 2017 #96

    Tad

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    The great white north, eh?
    One factor frequently found in ASD is having a few, intense, foci of interest. With zero evidence, it feels like this could relate to sexuality too.
     
  17. Sep 20, 2017 #97

    FatAndProud

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    Chiming in to say my first crush was on a Fellow Dr. during my clinical rotations in college. He had Asperger's. He was insanely funny, in a dry humor sort of way. My classmates would make fun of me because "Dr. Aspie" likes you. I liked him back...ah, but I was too shy. I'd love to see him again!
     
  18. Jan 20, 2018 #98

    Etiola

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    One of my ex was Asperger and, although his main partner (we were both polyamorous at the time) is ~ 300 lbs/5'8" and he loves her a lot, he has expressed his preference for skinny girls. I have anorexia, and when I was 92-94 lbs/5'1" (I'm 106 lbs now) he kept telling me how much he liked my body. My current bf is also Asperger and he not only told me he likes thin girls, he admitted that he wouldn't have dated me back when I was 180+lbs/5'1" because he dislikes fat girls (that kinda hurt, but we discussed about it). I doubt there's a connection between being Asperger and a FA.
     
  19. Jan 20, 2018 #99

    Etiola

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    Very well said.
     
  20. Sep 11, 2019 #100

    imchet

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    I'm Aspie. I have a strong, pretty much exclusive attraction to bbw/ssbbws. Even since my earliest sexual development. I need the heavy pressure and feedback a heavy partner gives. I also need to never run out of things to touch. To me they seem cuddlier, and kinder in the way they present physically. I would go far as to say I find thin women quite intimidating. I know that those last two thoughts are pretty superficial but it's just how I'm wired. I absolutely adore my current girlfriend who would think she's certainly in ssbbw territory. Every time I see here I'm delighted by her size.
     

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