The New Guy
“It’s so odd being back in the office again, but it’s great to see you in person again Dylan!”
“What do you mean Clare, we’ve seen each other on Zoom calls?”
“But it’s just not the same – not being able to meet here in the break room or wander over to your cube to exchange gossip, talk about our love lives or lack thereof, and fantasize about banging fat guys!”
“You got a point there Clare – I do miss that, especially our little competitions over whether the fat guy will want to go home with me or you!”
“Speaking of that, have you spotted the new fat guy yet, the one who has been on our last three or four Zoom calls? I can’t tell much only seeing him from the shoulders up, but from that cute double chin peeking out from under his beard and those rosy cheeks and heavy jowls, I can just tell he’s totally belly-heavy down below …”
“I figured you’d be crushing him, but I haven’t spotted him yet, but it’s only 9 a.m. and maybe he comes in later.”
“You’re telling me you’re not crushing on him too – I mean that beard and those broad shoulders are just what you seem to love in your fat men!”
“Word, but with my luck he’s probably into girls and you’ll win the contest like you usually do.” (SIGH) And I'm not crushing on him, I want to be crushed UNDER him …"
(THE NEW GUY PONDEROUSLY STRIDES INTO THE BREAK ROOM, HUFFING A BIT FROM THE EFFORT)
“Whoa, check this out!
“Hubba hubba, he’s definitely a big ‘un, belly heavy for sure and then some!
“I’m thinking at least 325, but it’s hard to tell as his butt and legs don’t seem abnormally large …”
“But, oh my God, he wears his slacks with the belt at mid-belly, and the fat roll below the belt is just so fucking massive … I mean he’s probably got the belly of a 400-pounder!”
“Down boy, don’t go getting a boner here in the break room!” (CLARE SILENTLY AGREES THE FATTY MUST HAVE SOME MASSIVE PANNICULUS LURKING UNDER THOSE TOO-TIGHT PLEATED PANTS)
“Too late for that Clare so I’m just gonna sit here and see what he does …”
“He’s obviously checking out the room to see if anyone is looking … I bet the blimp wants to clear out the snack machine but is embarrassed his new co-workers are going to judge him for the obese gluttonous hog he really is.” (CHUCKLE)
“So I say he hits the soda machine first – will he get a bottled water, a Diet Coke, or a full calorie Coke?”
“My vote is on the Coke – a fat boy's need for sugar exceeds his need to make a favorable impression on his co-workers -- the boy needs calories!” (WIDE GRIN)
(THE SELECTION IS MADE)
“So close – full calorie Mountain Dew”
“It’s early, he needs the maximum caffeine after working from home and being able to nod off for a nap anytime he wants.”
“I know, I miss that those naps … they are so restful.”
“OK, he’s gonna sit down for a spell, let’s see how far that belly spreads out when he sits.”
“Hope he doesn’t split his pants – they’re awfully tight, he must’ve packed on a few pounds while working from home …”
"I know, imagine watching him work from home, no pants, that massive belly spilling between his thunder thighs, mindlessly eating chips and cookies and sucking down Mountain Dew …"
“Oh my f--cking God, look at that spread!”
“And look at him down that 24-ounce Mountain Dew – he just took down half of it without even taking a breath!”
“Oh sister Clare, this one is going to be so much fun for us to fatten up even more than he is now … if he’s not 400 pounds already, give him a year of us bringing him treats, taking him to lunch at the all you can eat buffet down the street, inviting him over for casual dinner parties for ten …”
“Only there will only be you, me, and him! (CHUCKLE)
“You’re right Clare, 400 pounds won’t be enough, I’m thinking we need to take him to a full quarter ton – we’ve never done that before.”
“Fatty doesn’t stand a chance with us Dylan!”
“Where are you going Clare?”
“I’m going in!
“Hi there, Ted is it?”
“Yes, glad to meet you in person, Clare right?”
“Hey, I’m gonna fetch something from the snack machine, can I get you something Ted?”
“Well, I did rush out this morning and missed breakfast, so that would be nice.”
“You know Ted, when I miss breakfast like that I find nothing hits the spot like those frosted honeybuns and I think I spotted some in the machine – would that be good? (TED FISHES IN HIS POCKET) Oh don’t give me any bills, it’s on me as a welcome to the team gift!”
(SHORT PAUSE)
“Ted, you won’t believe it, but I put in my money and made the selection and machine spit out TWO honeybuns, so hear you go!” (TED FEELS AN ERECTION COMING ON)
“But you didn’t get anything for yourself Clare …”
“Oh I got a pack of sugar free gum, enjoy those honeybuns! And let me introduce my work buddy Dylan … Dyl, come and meet Ted …
“Great to meet you in person Ted after only seeing you on Zoom calls!”
“Yep, I probably look a bit different on Zoom” (PATTING HIS HEFTY BELLY FOR EMPHASIS)
“Not that I noticed (LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH) … and by the way, Clare and I are going to lunch today at the all you can eat place down the street, if you’re interested in joining us.”
“I’d love that” (BIG SMILE ON TED’S FACE, A MOISTENESS IN CLARE’S PANTIES, AND A MASSIVE ERECTION IN DYLAN’S PANTS).
“It’s so odd being back in the office again, but it’s great to see you in person again Dylan!”
“What do you mean Clare, we’ve seen each other on Zoom calls?”
“But it’s just not the same – not being able to meet here in the break room or wander over to your cube to exchange gossip, talk about our love lives or lack thereof, and fantasize about banging fat guys!”
“You got a point there Clare – I do miss that, especially our little competitions over whether the fat guy will want to go home with me or you!”
“Speaking of that, have you spotted the new fat guy yet, the one who has been on our last three or four Zoom calls? I can’t tell much only seeing him from the shoulders up, but from that cute double chin peeking out from under his beard and those rosy cheeks and heavy jowls, I can just tell he’s totally belly-heavy down below …”
“I figured you’d be crushing him, but I haven’t spotted him yet, but it’s only 9 a.m. and maybe he comes in later.”
“You’re telling me you’re not crushing on him too – I mean that beard and those broad shoulders are just what you seem to love in your fat men!”
“Word, but with my luck he’s probably into girls and you’ll win the contest like you usually do.” (SIGH) And I'm not crushing on him, I want to be crushed UNDER him …"
(THE NEW GUY PONDEROUSLY STRIDES INTO THE BREAK ROOM, HUFFING A BIT FROM THE EFFORT)
“Whoa, check this out!
“Hubba hubba, he’s definitely a big ‘un, belly heavy for sure and then some!
“I’m thinking at least 325, but it’s hard to tell as his butt and legs don’t seem abnormally large …”
“But, oh my God, he wears his slacks with the belt at mid-belly, and the fat roll below the belt is just so fucking massive … I mean he’s probably got the belly of a 400-pounder!”
“Down boy, don’t go getting a boner here in the break room!” (CLARE SILENTLY AGREES THE FATTY MUST HAVE SOME MASSIVE PANNICULUS LURKING UNDER THOSE TOO-TIGHT PLEATED PANTS)
“Too late for that Clare so I’m just gonna sit here and see what he does …”
“He’s obviously checking out the room to see if anyone is looking … I bet the blimp wants to clear out the snack machine but is embarrassed his new co-workers are going to judge him for the obese gluttonous hog he really is.” (CHUCKLE)
“So I say he hits the soda machine first – will he get a bottled water, a Diet Coke, or a full calorie Coke?”
“My vote is on the Coke – a fat boy's need for sugar exceeds his need to make a favorable impression on his co-workers -- the boy needs calories!” (WIDE GRIN)
(THE SELECTION IS MADE)
“So close – full calorie Mountain Dew”
“It’s early, he needs the maximum caffeine after working from home and being able to nod off for a nap anytime he wants.”
“I know, I miss that those naps … they are so restful.”
“OK, he’s gonna sit down for a spell, let’s see how far that belly spreads out when he sits.”
“Hope he doesn’t split his pants – they’re awfully tight, he must’ve packed on a few pounds while working from home …”
"I know, imagine watching him work from home, no pants, that massive belly spilling between his thunder thighs, mindlessly eating chips and cookies and sucking down Mountain Dew …"
“Oh my f--cking God, look at that spread!”
“And look at him down that 24-ounce Mountain Dew – he just took down half of it without even taking a breath!”
“Oh sister Clare, this one is going to be so much fun for us to fatten up even more than he is now … if he’s not 400 pounds already, give him a year of us bringing him treats, taking him to lunch at the all you can eat buffet down the street, inviting him over for casual dinner parties for ten …”
“Only there will only be you, me, and him! (CHUCKLE)
“You’re right Clare, 400 pounds won’t be enough, I’m thinking we need to take him to a full quarter ton – we’ve never done that before.”
“Fatty doesn’t stand a chance with us Dylan!”
“Where are you going Clare?”
“I’m going in!
“Hi there, Ted is it?”
“Yes, glad to meet you in person, Clare right?”
“Hey, I’m gonna fetch something from the snack machine, can I get you something Ted?”
“Well, I did rush out this morning and missed breakfast, so that would be nice.”
“You know Ted, when I miss breakfast like that I find nothing hits the spot like those frosted honeybuns and I think I spotted some in the machine – would that be good? (TED FISHES IN HIS POCKET) Oh don’t give me any bills, it’s on me as a welcome to the team gift!”
(SHORT PAUSE)
“Ted, you won’t believe it, but I put in my money and made the selection and machine spit out TWO honeybuns, so hear you go!” (TED FEELS AN ERECTION COMING ON)
“But you didn’t get anything for yourself Clare …”
“Oh I got a pack of sugar free gum, enjoy those honeybuns! And let me introduce my work buddy Dylan … Dyl, come and meet Ted …
“Great to meet you in person Ted after only seeing you on Zoom calls!”
“Yep, I probably look a bit different on Zoom” (PATTING HIS HEFTY BELLY FOR EMPHASIS)
“Not that I noticed (LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH) … and by the way, Clare and I are going to lunch today at the all you can eat place down the street, if you’re interested in joining us.”
“I’d love that” (BIG SMILE ON TED’S FACE, A MOISTENESS IN CLARE’S PANTIES, AND A MASSIVE ERECTION IN DYLAN’S PANTS).
