I'v been wanting to get this out there maybe here some advice Good and or bad. i'v resisted posting tis before because i'm not sure i want to hear the negative but i think some of the negative will raise questions that i need to ask myself.
as you may or may not know I'm involved in a long distance relationship with someone from dim's, we very much want to be together. the problem is that we each have kids, She has 3 girls and she has primary custody of them, I have a little girl and i get visitation with her everyother weekend. the goal has always been for everyone to be on the here on the East coast, we both agree that the school's here are better then where she is, i would be able to provide better for all of them here (Presumably i really don't know what opportunities i could find out there). now in order to do that she would need to either get sole custody of the kids or get the courts to grant her the right to leave the state with them. (Highly unlikely in any short term sense! we are looking at years of fighting for either to work out) and even if she could work all that out then i'm ripping four people away from everything they know.
The easy answer is me moving there, i'm only one person i don't have much to relocate and my company is international with many offices in every state and within an hour of most towns. The one thing that makes this all so difficult is leaving my daughter behind, (this is a very emotional topic for me) I don't want her to feel like i'm abandoning her. I do plan on having her come to visit and to come back here often to see her!
I guess My fears are all based on my mom and her father, Her parents divorced when she was around 12 and her dad although didn't move very far away he was never part of her life and she majorly resents him for it. I do stay in touch with my daughter and i call her almost every night and i am very involved in her life.
People do this all the time don't they? i mean fathers and daughters do survive long distance's right?. And wouldn't it be great for her to be able to spend her summers in California or winter break.
Some may not understand why i would relocate for a relationship, but i truly believe she is the one, we started this trip based on honesty and understanding, we don't hide anything from each other, everything i do has her in mind. even though she's 3000 miles away. I don't look to her or our relationship to bring me happiness i know thats the wrong way to look at things but, i do know that together we can take on anything!
I think i'm just looking for other perspectives from people who are unbiased and maybe have been through something similar.
as you may or may not know I'm involved in a long distance relationship with someone from dim's, we very much want to be together. the problem is that we each have kids, She has 3 girls and she has primary custody of them, I have a little girl and i get visitation with her everyother weekend. the goal has always been for everyone to be on the here on the East coast, we both agree that the school's here are better then where she is, i would be able to provide better for all of them here (Presumably i really don't know what opportunities i could find out there). now in order to do that she would need to either get sole custody of the kids or get the courts to grant her the right to leave the state with them. (Highly unlikely in any short term sense! we are looking at years of fighting for either to work out) and even if she could work all that out then i'm ripping four people away from everything they know.
The easy answer is me moving there, i'm only one person i don't have much to relocate and my company is international with many offices in every state and within an hour of most towns. The one thing that makes this all so difficult is leaving my daughter behind, (this is a very emotional topic for me) I don't want her to feel like i'm abandoning her. I do plan on having her come to visit and to come back here often to see her!
I guess My fears are all based on my mom and her father, Her parents divorced when she was around 12 and her dad although didn't move very far away he was never part of her life and she majorly resents him for it. I do stay in touch with my daughter and i call her almost every night and i am very involved in her life.
People do this all the time don't they? i mean fathers and daughters do survive long distance's right?. And wouldn't it be great for her to be able to spend her summers in California or winter break.
Some may not understand why i would relocate for a relationship, but i truly believe she is the one, we started this trip based on honesty and understanding, we don't hide anything from each other, everything i do has her in mind. even though she's 3000 miles away. I don't look to her or our relationship to bring me happiness i know thats the wrong way to look at things but, i do know that together we can take on anything!
I think i'm just looking for other perspectives from people who are unbiased and maybe have been through something similar.
