Cases of Forced Feederism

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superodalisque

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I'm not sure what you think I'm missing.

This is a thread about forced feederism.

In your opening paragraph, you lash out at FAs for "making" some BBWs feel unwanted and desperate and allude that it therefore leads to these BBWs feeling they have no choice but to be in a feeder/feedee relationship.

It would be VERY difficult for anyone to read your post and not feel that you were using FA and Feeder interchangeably. Particularly since, as mentioned above, this is a thread about forced feederism.

Frankly, I don't even understand why FAs are entering the discussion.

It's sort of like talking about guys who prefer blonds in a foot fetish thread and making no distinction between the foot fetishists and the guys who like blonds.
let me simplify what i was getting at. i do tend to get a bit wordy. i feel its dishonest to pretend it doesn't happen at all because people are people. even if it doesn't happened a lot it has happened somewhere. just because there are a few people out there who exaggerate the negative aspects of feederism doesn't mean it can't or doesn't ever happen. and just because someone might not be forced physically but might be manipulated emotionally instead does not make it any less harmful if it happens.

i personally know of a lot of cases of emotional coercsion and manipulation as asked for by the op-- just not physical. i have personally experienced people attempting to try that with me but i avoided it. i know many women who've felt victimized at a weak point in their lives that way. i think thats why you get so much anger about it on the boards because people have experienced people trying to make them participate in something they aren't interested in often. for some i think it might even be an extra challenge if you somehow try and resist them but they can get fatter anyway.
 

Ben from England

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I typed out my response, went to post it and got logged out. Then I recheck the thread and superodalisque went and said most of it better anyways.

Over the years I've seen plenty of instances where the gainer has discovered their new found passion around the same time they met somebody who also enjoys seeing them gain. I'm always a little suspect. It's something that I observed to the point that I decided to keep the feedery parts of my FAness to myself until I had a good read on what the persons stance was without them knowing for fear of being catered to.

Few things I would add, though this may be veering off topic, is to who is responsible for the dynamic of the relationship and to what extent tends to be subjective and where things can get tricky. Outside the community, feeders are evil and perverted, inside the community a disproportioned and, as superodalisque referred to, intellectually dishonest amount of responsiblity is levied to the gainer. It's isn't as black and white a discussion as 'feeders are pervs' or 'well, they said it was fine so whatever'. For that matter it's also a different discussion for every single relationship and one very difficult to properly have with the limited information often available.

Proper tied down, against your will force feeding though? I'm with Ashley, pretty much an urban legend.
 

Ash

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Once again, equating being an FA as a fetish, and not equating being an FA with a preference.

One more time, with feeling:

Not all FAs are feeders.

Not all Feeders are FAs.
+1

I'd also add:

Not all feeders act on their fetish.
Those who do, in all currently documented cases (as of this post's press time), do so with a willing participant.
 

CrankySpice

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It's those guys who dig blondes who are driving all the brunettes to the foot fetishists.

You see it all the time. Well, you hear about it all the time. Well, it's almost kind of almost alluded to sometimes when I think someone is talking about something else but they are really almost talking about what I think I want them to be talking about so I can feel justified in my thinking. Most of the time.

It's the guys who dig blondes. I'm sure of it. They have all the files with the documented cases of forced feederism sitting around somewhere in a box. Just so the foot fetishists don't find it.
 

LillyBBBW

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It's those guys who dig blondes who are driving all the brunettes to the foot fetishists.

You see it all the time. Well, you hear about it all the time. Well, it's almost kind of almost alluded to sometimes when I think someone is talking about something else but they are really almost talking about what I think I want them to be talking about so I can feel justified in my thinking. Most of the time.

It's the guys who dig blondes. I'm sure of it. They have all the files with the documented cases of forced feederism sitting around somewhere in a box. Just so the foot fetishists don't find it.
ROFLMAO!!! This made me laugh myself to a whooping cough!
 

KHayes666

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Super....

I love ya but you're the only one I know who could go through the drive through and take a half hour to explain what you want. The gist of your marathon of a post was that you feel BBW's are unwanted if they don't succumb to a FA's fetishes......and like everyone else has said, not all F/A's are fetishists and not all Fetishists are F/A's.

This thread is about cases of unwanted forced feederism and no one seem to have heard any cases of this being done. You make some good points from a woman's perspective but a lot of it had nothing to do with Forced Feederism but rather women being mistreated.


ETA: I missed the post where you admitted to being wordy, desregard my opening statement.
 

superodalisque

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+1

I'd also add:

Not all feeders act on their fetish.
Those who do, in all currently documented cases (as of this post's press time), do so with a willing participant.
i agree with that. and thats why i'm careful not to say all. but we would all pretending if we say that there aren't any instances of coersion etc... by feeders at all. even guys who aren't feeders sometimes coerce women they want for various reasons. maybe i have a different take on things since i'm not a feedee or a gainer? its not my interest so i might tend to get approached in ways not suited to me much moreso than people who are into it. so i get to see the pushes that are made toward people who aren't into it or around it more. in my experience when someone is really interested in me as a fetish object for some reason sometimes they do things out of some kind of desperation that they wouldn't have to do with someone who shared thier interest.

i don't understand the obssession with the idea that i was talking about all FAs or all feeders when i don't think thats in my post anywhere. or maybe its just more comforting to believe i'm some nut broad brushing all FAs or all feeders rather than responding to what i've said. hey, if you don't want an honest answer re: my opinion or experiences don't ask --cuz i will tell you ;)

maybe the op should have asked why we think feeders are good guys. then there would be the kinds of responses that people seem to want here. there would be nothig wrong with asking for that opinion either. i could add something to that thread because i have a lot of friends who are feedersand great guys and even they don't go around pretending that all feeders are great guys and never do anything wrong.
 

Ash

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Okay, on the subject of those who put pressure on women to gain through emotional means: that isn't a feeder, it's an ASSHOLE. Any person who tries to emotionally manipulate anyone or put unreasonable pressure on them to do something that they've already said that they do not want to do is a jerk. This is not a feeder-specific phenomenon, and the majority of feeders I've known and dated in my life would rather lose an arm than put pressure on a woman to do something she doesn't want to do.

Feedism is a fetish. It does not define a person, and it does not determine a personality. A kind, caring person can be a feeder. An uncaring, manipulative one can be a feeder, too. Too often the "uncaring, manipulative" part is included in the definition of "feeder", and this is simply not the case.
 

superodalisque

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Super....

I love ya but you're the only one I know who could go through the drive through and take a half hour to explain what you want. The gist of your marathon of a post was that you feel BBW's are unwanted if they don't succumb to a FA's fetishes......and like everyone else has said, not all F/A's are fetishists and not all Fetishists are F/A's.

This thread is about cases of unwanted forced feederism and no one seem to have heard any cases of this being done. You make some good points from a woman's perspective but a lot of it had nothing to do with Forced Feederism but rather women being mistreated.


ETA: I missed the post where you admitted to being wordy, desregard my opening statement.
i have some but i don't want to name names. it would embarrass the people involved. and as i said before people have tried to do it with me but i cut ties.
 

CrankySpice

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AnnMarie

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Okay, on the subject of those who pressure women into gaining through emotional means: that isn't a feeder, it's an ASSHOLE. Any person who tries to emotionally manipulate anyone or put unreasonable pressure on them to do something that they've already said that they do not want to do is a jerk. This is not a feeder-specific phenomenon, and the majority of feeders I've known and dated in my life would rather lose an arm than force a woman to do something they don't want to do.

Feedism is a fetish. It does not define a person, and it does not determine a personality. A kind, caring person can be a feeder. An uncaring, manipulative one can be a feeder, too. Too often the "uncaring, manipulative" part is included in the definition of "feeder", and this is simply not the case.

All that stuff right there.


Saying all feeders have this potential, in a way that makes it seem it's probable, is as dishonest and misguided as saying that no person was ever in a manipulative relationship with a feeder.

And about that "deep shame and embarrassment that you don't often come across when women survive an act of violence not dealing with the feeder/feedee relationship" - I call total BS on this.

Abuse of any kind, emotional and physical, causes shame and embarrassment. I was in a highly abusive relationship in my early 20s, I was, and am, ashamed and embarrassed that it happened, that I let it happen.

It's one of the darkest periods of my life and I wouldn't relive it for anything. I allowed things to be said to me, to be done to me, that I wouldn't even repeat to another person alive. The idea that there's some secret window of or level of shame reserved for feeding victims is just insulting to everyone.


No one's got a corner on shame and embarrassment, and I wouldn't wish any of it on my worst enemy.
 

superodalisque

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Okay, on the subject of those who pressure women into gaining through emotional means: that isn't a feeder, it's an ASSHOLE. Any person who tries to emotionally manipulate anyone or put unreasonable pressure on them to do something that they've already said that they do not want to do is a jerk. This is not a feeder-specific phenomenon, and the majority of feeders I've known and dated in my life would rather lose an arm than force a woman to do something they don't want to do.

Feedism is a fetish. It does not define a person, and it does not determine a personality. A kind, caring person can be a feeder. An uncaring, manipulative one can be a feeder, too. Too often the "uncaring, manipulative" part is included in the definition of "feeder", and this is simply not the case.
i agree asshole is a great description and i definitely don't think it applies to all feeders. feeders are just folks like anybody else. some are good some are bad. most of the ones i've met are pretty nice and actually come in very handy when i'm hungry:D.

i think its important what you said about feedism being a fetish and that it does not define the person. thats an excellent point. it doesn't make all of them good. it doesn't make all of them bad. just makes them people with a fetish. it doesn't have to be such a big deal. maybe people should make it as though feeders are so "different" from anyone else. i think thats the real problem for feeders and other people who don't understand. people who don't have exposure act as though feeders are weirdos but a bigger problem is a lot of feeders tend to feel strange and uncomfortable in thier own skin. this question makes about feeders makes as much sense to me as a black man asking if black people are criminals. you might be black but you probably aren't a criminal. sure there are some criminals who are black but thats by no means every black person you see. but it would not be the truth to pretend there weren't any black criminals. to say that makes it sound like people are protesting too much and overcompensating where they don't need to. i think feeders need to be ok with being feeders. and stop focusing on the worst thoughts people might have about them and concentrate more on the good stuff they do. they need to (if they do) stop feeling guilty, stop feeling ashamed, and stop relating to the worst of the worst.
 

AnnMarie

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i think feeders need to be ok with being feeders. and stop focusing on the worst thoughts people might have about them and concentrate more on the good stuff they do. they need to (if they do) stop feeling guilty, stop feeling ashamed, and stop relating to the worst of the worst.

These are excellent points, and it would be a big step towards helping more of them feel that way if more people would stop accusing them of things, stop shaming them, and stop equating them to the worst of the worst.

Maybe this thread will help eventually - who knows.
 

superodalisque

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All that stuff right there.


Saying all feeders have this potential, in a way that makes it seem it's probable, is as dishonest and misguided as saying that no person was ever in a manipulative relationship with a feeder.

And about that "deep shame and embarrassment that you don't often come across when women survive an act of violence not dealing with the feeder/feedee relationship" - I call total BS on this.

Abuse of any kind, emotional and physical, causes shame and embarrassment. I was in a highly abusive relationship in my early 20s, I was, and am, ashamed and embarrassed that it happened, that I let it happen.

It's one of the darkest periods of my life and I wouldn't relive it for anything. I allowed things to be said to me, to be done to me, that I wouldn't even repeat to another person alive. The idea that there's some secret window of or level of shame reserved for feeding victims is just insulting to everyone.


No one's got a corner on shame and embarrassment, and I wouldn't wish any of it on my worst enemy.
i can understand why you would say that. i agree to a point. but i've worked with abused women before. at some point the shame etc.. evolves into anger. when they get away from it they really start to understand what happened and how unjust it was. sure they don't always go into particulars but often they do. its part of healing. society does not condone what the abuser did. so they have some sympathy empathy and support. sure there is shame there. but i don't think BBWs with feeder issues get the same of type support for issues like that. i think support has a lot to do with how much people can express and work through those feelings of shame and guilt .

most people have no idea about the feeder culture. most BBWs won't explain it to anyone outside of it. people get a hard time just for discussing it here. even if they did explain a lot of people would be totally horrified even if it was just an innocent fetish. and already people might not support you just because you are fat in the first place. then there is tension inside of the community about it. people always judging people who are feedees and making all kinds of characterizations they have no idea about. so yeah i think there is a lot more shame and guilt a BBW feedee has to deal with and definitely a LOT more secrets. even when we have friends who've died here people are so afraid to even say what they died of because of the judgments and rumor mongering. not everyone is as open and self aware as you are. you're comfortable with yourself. but a lot of people aren't. most women in this country have seen some kind of abuse but think about it--how many have been exposed to abuse by a feeder? how many people could relate to that? its much easier to say he beat me or was emotionally abusive to me than to say he made me eat. i bet the women i know who have had those things happen to them will not post here. but if you look into the BBW forum you'll see plenty of discussion about the abuse of women in general.
 

superodalisque

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These are excellent points, and it would be a big step towards helping more of them feel that way if more people would stop accusing them of things, stop shaming them, and stop equating them to the worst of the worst.

Maybe this thread will help eventually - who knows.
i hope really do hope so
 

VVET

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i think that feeders are also potential feedees as well
 

VVET

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Some are, but some feeders have no interest in gaining themselves. Mutual gainers do exist, but not all feeders are into it.
I was more of an enabler than a feeder, but thought it was very erotic, for women to gain
now I'm surprised to find I think the same for myself
 

KHayes666

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Some are, but some feeders have no interest in gaining themselves. Mutual gainers do exist, but not all feeders are into it.
Count me as one who's a feeder but never will be a feedee. However I do know a few folks who are both feeder and feedee so its a pretty common preference.
 

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