FreeThinker
Member
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2005
- Messages
- 4,462
I Have A Package
I Come As Soon As I Can
I Come Once A Day
I'll Try To Make Some Noise When I Come
I Will NOT Take My Boots Off
I Don't Know What's In Your Box And I Don't Care
I Want To Know Your Name, Not Your Life Story
I Might Want To Use Your Toilet Or Your Phone
I'll Pull Out When I'm Ready
I Have A Package
I'm a courier. I pick up and deliver packages.
I Come As Soon As I Can
I'll be there when I get there. I can't rearrange geography to get to your town in the morning when I usually get there at 2 pm. I'm not coming in late to tick you off. The earlier I get there, the earlier I go home. Don't make me even later for my next stop by detaining me with complaints about how I should have been there earlier.
I Come Once A Day
I can't return later today. My route is like a big circle. This is your chance right now. If your stuff isn't ready to go out now, or you don't have the money for the C.O.D., I'll be back tomorrow.
I'll Try To Make Some Noise When I Come
I'll ring your bell and knock on your door if you're in a house. If you're in a factory, I'll push the buzzer for the shipper/receiver. If that doesn't work, I'll call reception to have you paged. If you're in an office, but not at your desk, I'll call out, and walk into the office to find someone. I'm not trying to sneak in and out. It's in my best interests that you know I'm here.
So PAY ATTENTION!
I Will NOT Take My Boots Off
I don't care if your dental office requires patients to "remove wet footwear", I haven't got the time. If I take more time, I get paid more money, which means my boss has to charge more for deliveries. I'll walk in as straight a line as I can to your desk and back to the door. I'm not trying to get all of your carpeting wet.
I Don't Know What's In Your Box And I Don't Care
Either you ordered what's in the box, or someone decided to send it to you. As far as I'm concerned it's a box. I don't care if what's inside is the right part number, the right colour, or if it's inventory or supplies. Think about it: Would you really rather have me know everything I bring you?
I Want To Know Your Name, Not Your Life Story
I need your last name printed legibly. Just spell it to me, and I'll write it down. If I can't read your signature, I doubt I'd be able to read your printing. I don't care if you're related to the Fitzsimmons-Schwartzentrubers at the garage down the street, or if Fitzsimmons-Schwartzentruber Memorial Park was named for your great-grandparents, or how Fitzsimmons-Schwartzentruber Funeral Home is owned by another branch of the Fitzsimmons-Schwartzentruber family.
And, for crying out loud, change your name to Lee.
I Might Want To Use Your Toilet Or Your Phone
If it's the phone, it's to call my boss. He'll tell me if I have any pick-ups in this town. That's how you ended getting yours instead of having it sit somewhere, still waiting.
If it's the toilet, please, I'm only human.
I will leave either one in good shape and either hung up, or closed, as the case may be.
I'll Pull Out When I'm Ready
I may remain in your driveway, parking lot, or loading dock for a moment while I re-organize some of my freight, fill out my paperwork, or fill my washer fluid reservoir. Don't worry: I'm not planning on living here. I want to leave as much as you want me gone. Maybe more so.
I Come As Soon As I Can
I Come Once A Day
I'll Try To Make Some Noise When I Come
I Will NOT Take My Boots Off
I Don't Know What's In Your Box And I Don't Care
I Want To Know Your Name, Not Your Life Story
I Might Want To Use Your Toilet Or Your Phone
I'll Pull Out When I'm Ready
I Have A Package
I'm a courier. I pick up and deliver packages.
I Come As Soon As I Can
I'll be there when I get there. I can't rearrange geography to get to your town in the morning when I usually get there at 2 pm. I'm not coming in late to tick you off. The earlier I get there, the earlier I go home. Don't make me even later for my next stop by detaining me with complaints about how I should have been there earlier.
I Come Once A Day
I can't return later today. My route is like a big circle. This is your chance right now. If your stuff isn't ready to go out now, or you don't have the money for the C.O.D., I'll be back tomorrow.
I'll Try To Make Some Noise When I Come
I'll ring your bell and knock on your door if you're in a house. If you're in a factory, I'll push the buzzer for the shipper/receiver. If that doesn't work, I'll call reception to have you paged. If you're in an office, but not at your desk, I'll call out, and walk into the office to find someone. I'm not trying to sneak in and out. It's in my best interests that you know I'm here.
So PAY ATTENTION!
I Will NOT Take My Boots Off
I don't care if your dental office requires patients to "remove wet footwear", I haven't got the time. If I take more time, I get paid more money, which means my boss has to charge more for deliveries. I'll walk in as straight a line as I can to your desk and back to the door. I'm not trying to get all of your carpeting wet.
I Don't Know What's In Your Box And I Don't Care
Either you ordered what's in the box, or someone decided to send it to you. As far as I'm concerned it's a box. I don't care if what's inside is the right part number, the right colour, or if it's inventory or supplies. Think about it: Would you really rather have me know everything I bring you?
I Want To Know Your Name, Not Your Life Story
I need your last name printed legibly. Just spell it to me, and I'll write it down. If I can't read your signature, I doubt I'd be able to read your printing. I don't care if you're related to the Fitzsimmons-Schwartzentrubers at the garage down the street, or if Fitzsimmons-Schwartzentruber Memorial Park was named for your great-grandparents, or how Fitzsimmons-Schwartzentruber Funeral Home is owned by another branch of the Fitzsimmons-Schwartzentruber family.
And, for crying out loud, change your name to Lee.
I Might Want To Use Your Toilet Or Your Phone
If it's the phone, it's to call my boss. He'll tell me if I have any pick-ups in this town. That's how you ended getting yours instead of having it sit somewhere, still waiting.
If it's the toilet, please, I'm only human.
I will leave either one in good shape and either hung up, or closed, as the case may be.
I'll Pull Out When I'm Ready
I may remain in your driveway, parking lot, or loading dock for a moment while I re-organize some of my freight, fill out my paperwork, or fill my washer fluid reservoir. Don't worry: I'm not planning on living here. I want to leave as much as you want me gone. Maybe more so.
Thank you for your co-operation. 
