Occasionally, someone uses the fact that I'm known as fiercely FA as an excuse to treat me as a fate-hate confessor. Has someone ever confessed their fatphobia to *you* specifically because they think you're immune or can help/absolve them? (It's gross.)
FRIENDS, I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THIS. It hasn't happened to me often, but when it does my reaction is always WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN followed by a rapid change in subject. Sadly, I am not magical enough to instantly "fix" these thoughts, nor am I going to assure you it's totally fine to hate your thighs or knees or whatever. If folks ask me for constructive input -- "Hey Lesley, I'm having trouble working up the courage to wear my swimsuit without something over it on the beach this summer, what do you suggest I do about it?" -- I will give it. Get to know your swimsuit, wear it around the house, focus on what you like about it. Look around at the beach and take in all the different bodies, and realize that diversities of shape and size are natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Realize that nobody's REALLY going to be staring at or mocking you, and anyone who is would be a jerk and hardly worth covering up for anyway. And so forth. But if the same person says, "I can't wear a swimsuit because my thighs are like DISGUSTING HAMS and my arms are flabby and swingy like the udders on a cow and my belly sticks out and is SO gross I hate it and don't know what to do?" I'm likely to excuse myself. I do creative suggestions, but I don't do absolution. I can't absolve these people; the only person any of us can absolve is our own self.
