Lies Your Parents Told You

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Mine generally gave me lots of shit about two things:
1.) my weight, claiming that the maaaagic loss of all my weight would finally make people love me.
My parents also told me this but stated it as "No one loves a fat girl".

Found out that was a lie!
 

ClashCityRocker

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whenever i'd ask, "there's a mother's and a father's day, but why isn't there a kid's day?" they'd respond with 'every day is kid's day."


that used to bug me.
 

Surlysomething

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whenever i'd ask, "there's a mother's and a father's day, but why isn't there a kid's day?" they'd respond with 'every day is kid's day."


that used to bug me.
My parents said the same thing to us. I guess it's in the handbook they get at the hospital the day you were born. :rolleyes:
 

Tad

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whenever i'd ask, "there's a mother's and a father's day, but why isn't there a kid's day?" they'd respond with 'every day is kid's day."
My parents said the same thing to us. I guess it's in the handbook they get at the hospital the day you were born. :rolleyes:
Nah, no handbook--just a self-evident truth ..... from a parents point of view :p
 

CastingPearls

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whenever i'd ask, "there's a mother's and a father's day, but why isn't there a kid's day?" they'd respond with 'every day is kid's day."


that used to bug me.
My parents said the same thing to us. I guess it's in the handbook they get at the hospital the day you were born. :rolleyes:
Me too.

Another thing was, 'You're a kid. Kid's don't have problems. When you have to pay rent, utilities, insurance, grocery bills, etc. then you can have problems.'
 

CastingPearls

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When I told my mother I had a headache she'd say it was just because I was hungry. lol
 

~KawaiiFFA~

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My dad convinced me that leprechauns existed. One time when I misbehaved he stole my stuff. I was crying and he told me the leprechauns took it because I was bad. He made me write a note of apology to the leprechauns and then it mysteriously reappeared. I was like 3, okay?

This is also the guy who had a taxidermied deer hoof that he'd use to leave prints on the ground outside when I went to sleep on Christmas Eve. We'd leave carrots out at night and they'd all be chewed up in the morning. He left red and white fluff in the fireplace grate and boot-prints in the ash. He also responded to the letters we wrote. Eventually I started wondering why Santa's handwriting looked so much like Dad's, lol.

Oh, childhood. It wasn't all great but it sure was magical. xD
 

smithnwesson

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If you masturbate, air will get sucked into your penis and go to your head and you'll go retarded . . .

I wish I was making that up. God Bless catholics. In my mother's defense she just wanted me to practice a craft or an art or read instead of pull on my dick all day. I have nothing but gratitude for this lie.

I knew she was full of shit when I was walking downtown where a half-way house was at and I saw some guy whose mind was fucked beyond belief and he was shimmying and his hand was shaking. I ran home and told my mom "MAMI!! I SAW THE GUY WHO MASTURBATED TOO MUCH!!" and her response was "what are you talking about? Nothing happens if you masturbate.

she forgot her own fucking lie.

I love you forever, mami.
They told me I would go blind if I masturbated. I backed off a little for about a week when I first had to start wearing glasses.
 

swinglifeaway

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Whenever I didn't feel good, or complained in any way shape or form about being sick, a scratch on my knee.. It all with my mom responding, "It's Growing Pains" :p
I'm definitely using that on my kids one day. 'Injuries are growing pains, son. The best thing you can do is learn from them, there's always a positive to be taken out of a negative' [/armchairparenting]
 

swinglifeaway

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My dad convinced me that leprechauns existed. One time when I misbehaved he stole my stuff. I was crying and he told me the leprechauns took it because I was bad. He made me write a note of apology to the leprechauns and then it mysteriously reappeared. I was like 3, okay?

This is also the guy who had a taxidermied deer hoof that he'd use to leave prints on the ground outside when I went to sleep on Christmas Eve. We'd leave carrots out at night and they'd all be chewed up in the morning. He left red and white fluff in the fireplace grate and boot-prints in the ash. He also responded to the letters we wrote. Eventually I started wondering why Santa's handwriting looked so much like Dad's, lol.

Oh, childhood. It wasn't all great but it sure was magical. xD
I just told a 3 year old nephew that I had to go to outer space to fight Sasquatch. I'm okay with him believing this for a while.

Your dad sounds pretty fantastic though.
 

LuckyDreamer87

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My mom had me convinced that she had eyes in the back of her head. I tried finding them when she was sleeping but she told me they only appeared when I was doing something bad.
 

BigBeautifulMe

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So empathize with many folks on this thread. My version was "No one will ever want to marry you until you lose weight."
 

SD007

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I was sitting on my bed once upon a time, and a little hair floated down towards me. My mom (who's not even really religious) told me that it was a strand of her mom's hair that floated down from heaven.







...It was dog fur.
 

1love_emily

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So empathize with many folks on this thread. My version was "No one will ever want to marry you until you lose weight."
Mine's kind of the opposite. My parents told me that there would be always be someone who loved or wanted me.
I'm loved platonically and by my family, but I'm craving some romantic love.
 
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