obesiverse
Well-Known Member
I wanted to leave a note to give a SOBER, honest, and sincere apology. I was in severe emotional pain due to a painful break up after a long term relationship lasting over 7 years. I made comments that I myself later read and could not believe I made them. I came across as a southern racist angry drunk, and it was not appropriate in the least. When I looked over my posts, it was apparent to me how I went through psychological stages starting from sober in emotional pain, then advancing through stages of intoxication, leading up to the point where it was even obvious how difficult it was for me to "find my home keys".
I made at least 2 comments where a part of me was trying to be sarcastic, maybe even attempting some kind of morbid humor, but came across as racist and mean. I won't be visiting the forum too often at this point because I have a lot of work to catch up on. Spending 3 months consuming at least 2 1.75 liter bottles of cheap vodka each week was not healthy and not very conducive to a "productive work environment" to say the least.
I am going to be happy with the "second chance" I have been given, and I have reached a new level of understanding, compassion, and patience. I have to also mention that I have reached a whole new level of and capacity for LOVE, for which I am sincerely grateful. There were many costs, emotional, physical, and financial that I have endured, but the end result leads me to wholeheartedly believe that "it was all worth it". A part of me was too ashamed and embarrassed to even return to make an apology, but because of the love I feel for my partner and for the whole world now, I was compelled to come here and attempt to apologize for the way I acted in my very brief visit "the last time". I appreciate being allowed to return, and I understand and agree with being "banned" in the first place. I was told to try to log on and apologize, and when I saw that I could log on, even I felt that my time in exile was almost too short for the extent of damage I had done. I apologize to everyone I offended, and if I make a rare appearance here in the future I will always remember how gracious everyone was, including those who were trying to "straighten me out".
I made at least 2 comments where a part of me was trying to be sarcastic, maybe even attempting some kind of morbid humor, but came across as racist and mean. I won't be visiting the forum too often at this point because I have a lot of work to catch up on. Spending 3 months consuming at least 2 1.75 liter bottles of cheap vodka each week was not healthy and not very conducive to a "productive work environment" to say the least.
I am going to be happy with the "second chance" I have been given, and I have reached a new level of understanding, compassion, and patience. I have to also mention that I have reached a whole new level of and capacity for LOVE, for which I am sincerely grateful. There were many costs, emotional, physical, and financial that I have endured, but the end result leads me to wholeheartedly believe that "it was all worth it". A part of me was too ashamed and embarrassed to even return to make an apology, but because of the love I feel for my partner and for the whole world now, I was compelled to come here and attempt to apologize for the way I acted in my very brief visit "the last time". I appreciate being allowed to return, and I understand and agree with being "banned" in the first place. I was told to try to log on and apologize, and when I saw that I could log on, even I felt that my time in exile was almost too short for the extent of damage I had done. I apologize to everyone I offended, and if I make a rare appearance here in the future I will always remember how gracious everyone was, including those who were trying to "straighten me out".
