Are we doing it wrong?

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Weeze

Justin Bieber of Dims
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Ok. Let me preface this that I don't actually hang out with people that do the things in this article. http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/staticslideshowglamour.aspx?cp-documentid=21146417

BUT... It got me thinking about other things that we DO do that we think are sexy that just... might not be. I mean, I do get my nails done. Refill every 2-3 weeks, or I just don't feel put together. I realize it might put people off, but, it's what (and I know it's kinda sad) makes me feel a little more confident in my appearance.

Do you do anything like that? Anything that's probably not necessary, but you feel a need for it anyway.
 

steely

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You know, I hate it when someone tells me what I have to be. I have to be this to be sexy, I have to do this to not be a slut, I have to BE.... I'm not going to accept that, I AM. I quit reading fashion magazines because they make me feel so inadequate. I'm not going to make them rich for making me feel bad.

If getting your nails done makes you feel great and you like the way that feels, then do it. Do what you like to do for you. In any and all things, just because you like it.
 

Dr. Feelgood

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As far as I'm concerned, this guy's right on target, except for # 5: if a woman isn't wearing knickers, I assume she has diarrhea, and I avoid getting between her and the privy.:( Sexy is like smart: if you have to try for it, it's counterproductive. I once went out (or, if you prefer, in) with a woman who thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my anus when we were in flagrante delicto. Eew.:eek:
 

rollhandler

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Kelly Folsom,
You know, I hate it when someone tells me what I have to be. I have to be this to be sexy, I have to do this to not be a slut, I have to BE.... I'm not going to accept that, I AM. I quit reading fashion magazines because they make me feel so inadequate. I'm not going to make them rich for making me feel bad.

If getting your nails done makes you feel great and you like the way that feels, then do it. Do what you like to do for you. In any and all things, just because you like it.
I always like to read those lists with my partner and discuss the points that we either agree with or don't agree with and why. They can be an opening for insightful conversation. They make such sweeping generalizations about what men and women are like or want but they can be a good barometer for what society expectations are today. You can learn a lot about your partner male or female by discussing the content of such lists with them or simply have a good laugh.
Rollhandler
 

ashmamma84

Om Namah Shivayah
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I love fashion magazines; I think they serve a purpose. I like looking at and drooling over beautiful clothing. But I also know I can't take everything so seriously. I don't believe everything I read. Just because Tammy Faye lashes are in, doesn't mean I have to rock them. It's about doing what makes me feel and look best. I know myself best.

I love dressing well and looking good, but I'm not so caught up in what's trendy that I don't look like myself. Everything isn't for everybody, so just do you!
 

BubbleButtBabe

No one cares anyway
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The only thing I agree with on that list is the comment about going commando...Never do that not unless you are completely out of panties!!!

I personally think that "you" should do what makes "you" feel sexy and not what some random guy in a magazine says is sexy..He and his friends opinions really do not matter in other people's lives because they do not live other people's lives..You could probably do a poll of 1,000 men and never get 100 men that like the same thing..So just be true to yourself and do what you like!
 

butch

cuddly, hairy, and fat
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C'mon, guys, I say this in all kindness, but look at the forum and the thread title before your post, for the love of Pete (I don't think I've ever said that last part before, hmmm). The thread, in the BBW Forum is asking if WE are doing it wrong. Unless you feel you're a woman, please please please please think twice before you post. If you like the topic so much, you're free to copy the link and make your own thread in the FA/FFA Forum or the Main Board.

Thanks,
Mod Butch
 

mergirl

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I can totally see why guys want to post here as opposed to the Fa forum ..when it is full of gems such as -You know you are an fa when....?
"when people are talking bad about fat women and you end up getting aroused"
I have totally boycotted the Fa forum, my blood pressure can't handle it! :mad: -My face actually does go that colour. Its interesting how 'protected' forums work in different ways isn't it?
 

Tania

Disneyland Bobsled Team
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I think the author is right about there being a line between "making an effort" and "trying too hard." I think that if something makes you feel confident and put-together, it's never a bad thing. So long as you are somehow cultivating the real you, go for it.
 

Cors

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Haha, I do all of the above things - commando only at home though. I don't know if they turn people on or off, but they do make me appear more high-maintainence and aloof than I actually am. And well, I suppose it is true that horny men (and women) just want us naked anyway.

Krismiss, I have kept semi-long painted nails ever since I split with my ex and I love them! My lesbian friends like making fun of them though. They talk about how my claws make their girly bits cringe, and how women who keep long nails are must either be passive in bed or straight. I sometimes feel that they kill my chances of hooking up but oh well.
 

ESPN Cutie

Missing the South.
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In regards to the nails, I also always like to have my nails (gel, french manicure tips:)) done every two weeks. Likewise, I don't like leaving the house without my hair looking decent and atleast some powder, mascara, eyeliner and lip gloss on. I just don't feel complete without all of it and it makes me feel crappy if I walk around looking crappy. For me its not about "trying to be something I'm not" and pleasing others - I've been doing the nails and makeup-everyday thing since high school - instead, its about me feeling good about myself. And yes, those small things make me feel good and are important to me. I don't care if other people are turned off (or on) by it, because that's just me.

Fashion wise, I am not really into "trends." I have a personal style that I have been wearing for years (a kind of "Southern Prep", casual, yet really girly look); it fits my personality and I don't really stray from it. It's taken me years to define my look and I like when friends say things like, "Jen, that's so you."
 

Keb

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I don't wear a whole lot of makeup (though I've been experimenting a bit) but I'm not happy if I'm not freshly showered when I walk out the door, with my hair neatly brushed and pulled back somehow.

Haven't tried commando since I was five, however. You get in trouble for such things when you wear skirts all the time.
 

katherine22

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As far as I'm concerned, this guy's right on target, except for # 5: if a woman isn't wearing knickers, I assume she has diarrhea, and I avoid getting between her and the privy.:( Sexy is like smart: if you have to try for it, it's counterproductive. I once went out (or, if you prefer, in) with a woman who thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my anus when we were in flagrante delicto. Eew.:eek:

Did this response really address the original question? Do you think that this forum exists possibly to avoid a response like this???? Personally, I do not care about your anal retention or what you think passes for conversation.
 

Tracii

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If I'm headed to work I like to be very "put together" semi classy and professionally dressed.If I have a sales call or meeting I go all out classy just feels great to dress that way.
What really toasts me is if I'm casual say jeans and cute top I hear people say "women THAT FAT shouldn't wear tight jeans".
I love to show my big fat ass its none of there business....Damnit
I tell them that too I'm not shy about it.They can FO for all I care.
 

Teleute

Heh heh. "Member".
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I am amused that most of the items on there were turn-offs not because they made the woman seem desperate, but because they indicated the woman was sexually aggressive. Act more demure, girls, it's less threatening to their ego! :rolleyes:

Fuck that noise. I LIKE fishnets, glitter, and lipstick... and to be honest, I like them more because it makes me feel glamorous (in kind of an awesome drag queen way) than because it makes me feel sexy. Also, why does the guy assume that a woman's going commando in an attempt to impress him? Jeez... I'm commando all the way (except for skirts), but it's for comfort purposes... nobody else even KNOWS about it (well, except you guys now :p ) This list makes an awfully big assumption about the reasons women do these things.
 

katorade

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a) that is the dumbest article I've seen in a while.

b) "Jake" is a woman. I would bet my favorite eyeshadow on it.

c) It's rare I've met a man that didn't like fishnets.

d) I've NEVER met a man that like oversized sunglasses, as was suggested in the precursor to the list.

e) Who the hell actually blows into ears?

f) If you think I'm trying too hard, it's probably not you I'm trying to impress, honey. Get over yourself.

g) If you think other dudes were mere "snaps" away from my vagina because I'm not wearing any underwear, then you probably don't give me enough credit and most likely have problems worse than me failing at being sexy.

Crock. of. shit.
 

rainyday

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I think the doing it wrong part is in putting much stock in lists likely compiled by a junior writer who surveyed a small, homogenous handful of his/her 20-something friends at last weekend's party. (I'd also guess that "Jake" isn't a person but a rotating assignment someone fairly fresh out of school gets the brief for once a month.)

Not saying I don't still look though, just in case it really does happen to be secret information straight from the ganglia of average man. Like Rollhandler, I've had fun reading this kind of stuff with a partner and having it turn into a discussion.


ETA: Katorade, your post reminded me of the snaps thing. Who has snaps on their pants anyway other than toddlers in pants designed to make diapering easier? :D
 

katorade

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Somewhere in the early '90s I actually owned and wore a bodysuit that had snaps in the crotch. Don't look at me like that, bodysuits were bitchin', as were baby doll dresses, birkenstocks, scrunchies, doc martens, and blossom hats. Ah, the good ol' days.

It is really embarassing when you go to sit down and your bodysuit snaps give out, sending your shirttails flying north out of your jeans and towards your face in front of a table of friends and classmates, eliciting a loud pop that makes you scream and makes the least mentally stable member of your study group pee herself because she thinks you've been shot. Something you were not aware of until a drunken late night convo 5 years later.





I'll add #7 and #8 to that article. Peeing yourself and spontaneously exploding through clothing like a she-Hulk are not sexy.
 

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