Id mentioned in another thread that I think sometimes there is an assumption that people will hook up with similar people, including that fat people will hook up with other fat people. Someone suggested that this might be worth talking about in a new thread.
I guess the first question is, do you sense this assumption from people? If you are fat, do you find people expect you to end up with someone who is fat? Maybe Im the only one who gets this impression, I dont know.
I can think of a couple of reasons that people make this sort of assumption.
On the one hand, it could be that they assume nobody likes being fat or is attracted to fat people, so thin people wont choose to hook up with fat people, so the fat people will have to settle for each other.
On the other hand, I think there is a tendency to assume that like will partner with like. That the tall lanky guy who likes folk music and hiking will be interested in the tall lanky woman interested in folk music and hiking. That one environmental activist will like another environmental activist. That someone from a particular ethnic or religious group will prefer to be with someone from the same religious or ethnic group. That a short guy will get together with a short gal. That people will seek others from similar economic and educational background as themselves. And so on. Im pretty sure that there is some truth underlying these assumptions, in that obviously similar interests and values do make a relationship more likely. But I wonder if sometimes these things happen just because everyone expects it, and that there is resistance when people go the other way. That if a tall woman falls for a short guy, the relationship is that much more likely to fail because of the extra attention and skepticism it receives. Or to put it another way, was a lot of the hatred projected towards Yoko Ono because she did not come from the same country or ethnic group as John Lennon? They stuck it out, but how many people would not have, when it seemed the whole world disapproved of them being together?
So on that last point, Im interested in the viewpoints of thin FFAwhen you are going out with a fat guy, do you feel like there is a lot of resistance to it? If so, is it because people just have a hard time believing it, or is there an underlying sense of you are breaking the rules to it? For BHM who are dating or have dated thinner FFA, did you notice resistance from others to this? Was there hostility, like you were stepping out of your place? Or out of proportion admiration, like you must be really amazing in some way, to have snagged this thin woman?
Im curious to see others experiences and thoughts!
Regards;
-Ed
I guess the first question is, do you sense this assumption from people? If you are fat, do you find people expect you to end up with someone who is fat? Maybe Im the only one who gets this impression, I dont know.
I can think of a couple of reasons that people make this sort of assumption.
On the one hand, it could be that they assume nobody likes being fat or is attracted to fat people, so thin people wont choose to hook up with fat people, so the fat people will have to settle for each other.
On the other hand, I think there is a tendency to assume that like will partner with like. That the tall lanky guy who likes folk music and hiking will be interested in the tall lanky woman interested in folk music and hiking. That one environmental activist will like another environmental activist. That someone from a particular ethnic or religious group will prefer to be with someone from the same religious or ethnic group. That a short guy will get together with a short gal. That people will seek others from similar economic and educational background as themselves. And so on. Im pretty sure that there is some truth underlying these assumptions, in that obviously similar interests and values do make a relationship more likely. But I wonder if sometimes these things happen just because everyone expects it, and that there is resistance when people go the other way. That if a tall woman falls for a short guy, the relationship is that much more likely to fail because of the extra attention and skepticism it receives. Or to put it another way, was a lot of the hatred projected towards Yoko Ono because she did not come from the same country or ethnic group as John Lennon? They stuck it out, but how many people would not have, when it seemed the whole world disapproved of them being together?
So on that last point, Im interested in the viewpoints of thin FFAwhen you are going out with a fat guy, do you feel like there is a lot of resistance to it? If so, is it because people just have a hard time believing it, or is there an underlying sense of you are breaking the rules to it? For BHM who are dating or have dated thinner FFA, did you notice resistance from others to this? Was there hostility, like you were stepping out of your place? Or out of proportion admiration, like you must be really amazing in some way, to have snagged this thin woman?
Im curious to see others experiences and thoughts!
Regards;
-Ed
