Let me preface this with saying that I know Fascinita's post already addresses some of this, but I wanted this thread to be specific (And to focus on me, harhar).
This is an issue I've been struggling with for about a year now. And I'm having a difficult time verbalizing what I need to get out. Ladies, have you dated a male anorexic? How does this affect your self-esteem? And how do you communicate that his fear of fat doesn't translate well with your self-worth? (Yes, I'm an insecure biznatch, eff you)
Some facts: We've been e-friends for over 5 years. I've always been fat since he's known me. And I've known about his anorexia for the entire duration of our friendship. As far as I know, he's not an FA or bisizual. When he expressed that he wanted to date me last year, I was shocked, then confused, then bewildered, then angry, then worried for very very selfish reasons. He's not usually the openly communicative type, so he's never really talked to me about his anorexia. And quite frankly, I haven't brought it up because I didn't even think it was problematic... until some things came out when I was angry with him.
HIM: Do not say I have some specific type of girl.
ME: well don't you?
HIM: No. And don't say I have an aversion to overweight people.
And here it is: I don't care that he's really really skinny. I don't care that he's anorexic or was anorexic at some point in his life (well, maybe I do since I'm writing this thread after all). But I do care about my fragile self-esteem. I've worked very hard on my personal development since learning about size acceptance, but I know that it's still new. I don't want my insecurities to ruin our friendship (chances of a romantic relationship is nixxed because we're too neurotic to make it work, and no, it's not the fat or the anorexia that's ending it).
Your thoughts please.
This is an issue I've been struggling with for about a year now. And I'm having a difficult time verbalizing what I need to get out. Ladies, have you dated a male anorexic? How does this affect your self-esteem? And how do you communicate that his fear of fat doesn't translate well with your self-worth? (Yes, I'm an insecure biznatch, eff you)
Some facts: We've been e-friends for over 5 years. I've always been fat since he's known me. And I've known about his anorexia for the entire duration of our friendship. As far as I know, he's not an FA or bisizual. When he expressed that he wanted to date me last year, I was shocked, then confused, then bewildered, then angry, then worried for very very selfish reasons. He's not usually the openly communicative type, so he's never really talked to me about his anorexia. And quite frankly, I haven't brought it up because I didn't even think it was problematic... until some things came out when I was angry with him.
HIM: Do not say I have some specific type of girl.
ME: well don't you?
HIM: No. And don't say I have an aversion to overweight people.
And here it is: I don't care that he's really really skinny. I don't care that he's anorexic or was anorexic at some point in his life (well, maybe I do since I'm writing this thread after all). But I do care about my fragile self-esteem. I've worked very hard on my personal development since learning about size acceptance, but I know that it's still new. I don't want my insecurities to ruin our friendship (chances of a romantic relationship is nixxed because we're too neurotic to make it work, and no, it's not the fat or the anorexia that's ending it).
Your thoughts please.
