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Encounter with Fat Hate: The Room (movie)

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LovelyLiz

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Recently I went to a midnight showing of this horrible, horrible movie called The Room which came out in 2003 - and is really just a terrible movie on every level, but because of its horrendous acting and indiscernible plot, it has become a kind of hilarious cult film that people love to make fun of. So they have midnight showings all over the U.S. And similar to Rocky Horror, people bring items to throw, yell certain phrases at certain points, and it's very audience-participation centered.

I had actually already seen the movie with some friends on DVD a while back, and definitely found it to be of the "so bad it's good" genre of movies, and I had been telling my bf about it for a while, so when this midnight showing came up it seemed like the perfect fun time.

This idea of it being a fun time lasted approximately 5 minutes, however, when it became apparent early on that the level of anger and hatred toward the female lead in the movie (by the male audience members - who were the only ones to yell things out) was super high. The film is already a play on that old trope of the evil seductress woman who hurts sweet, naive men. But what was the thing they continuously yelled at her about? Things related to her body or being fat. Here's the thing tho, she is hardly fat (maybe Hollywood fat - probably like a size 8). Not like it would be better if she was fat - but you know what I'm saying. The level of misogyny and hate and violent speech was out of f*cking control. [The audience was probably 70% male, and mostly college-aged or just out of college.]

And it wasn't even clever fat-humor. It was like 3rd grade fat humor. Examples:

-Every time she picked up the phone or answered the door (which was pretty often, actually) they referred to her wanting a pizza delivered.
-In sex scenes when she removed her shirt they would yell things about her body, like: criticizing her small stomach rolls when she bent over, saying she had "sausage fingers" when she stroked her lover's cheek, telling her to put her clothes back on, etc.
-When she walked on the spiral staircase in her house they would yell "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM" with each step she took.
-When she shared a scene with a thinner woman, they would yell that the other woman should be the one to take her clothes off and that she should have had the lead role instead.
-And pretty much anything she would do at any point in the movie, one of about three of the most vocal guys would yell something like, "Why are you doing that you fat f*ck" or telling her to go eat some food or that she was going to break the chair she was sitting on or something along those lines.

It wasn't just lighthearted ribbing or fun or something, it was like super angry speech that made me feel really fearful actually. Fearful just to be a woman in an environment with such aggressive male voices yelling such angry, critical things toward women; and especially fearful as a fat woman in that crowd. If I hadn't been sitting in the center of the row, and would have had to climb over people to get out, I would have walked out soon after I realized what was going on.

The body shaming and woman shaming was so aggressive. I noticed about halfway through the movie that I was shaking.

And only one time, among the constant yelling, did I even hear a woman's voice. And that was to criticize the boots the lead character was wearing. Otherwise the yelling was all men, it was always negative, and it was really really really f*cking wrong.

It was really hard on me to be in that toxic environment for an hour and 45 minutes, and to hear all that hateful speech and anger and stereotypes and shaming of women's bodies and whatnot. I mean, I am strong and confident and can stand up within myself when I hear some stereotype or an insult or whatever. It's not usually going to ruin my day. But to have to hear that for an hour and 45 minutes, and to have it being YELLED...that was really more than I could handle. It took another day or two for me to be able to shake it off, and to be able to enjoy being in my body again.

I'm still thinking about whether/how I want to respond to this. It clearly reflects something deeply broken in our culture, in gender power dynamics, in body shaming, all of that. I'm deciding whether to just write something to bring it into the light (I'm sure it's much easier for these douchebags to yell hateful things when the lights are off and they are anonymous and have no consequences), or do some other kind of response - like get a big group of women together and go to a screening and do some yelling of our own. But honestly, I don't think I would want to willingly enter that toxic space again. But we'll see.

I don't know why I'm sharing all this - but I'm open to any thoughts or other stories or anything really. It was just a terrible experience, and if any of you were going to see this movie at a midnight screening or something, you can be prepared.
 

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