Bill Fabrey, the man who founded NAAFA (which then stood for National Association to Aid Fat Americans) in 1969 often told of the first meetings of the organization in Manhattan. He described how a group of fat women would come together and sit in a circle, and how a few men also attended the meeting, but they sat in the corners or along the wall. Those men obviously came to the meetings because they were interested in fatness and fat people. The fat women there mostly saw them as creepy and to be suspicious of.
It's almost half a century later, and in many ways nothing has changed. When I look at many threads and posts here at Dimensions, the topic is how physical attraction shouldn't matter, that it's the inside that counts, that seeking fatness or certain attributes is just a fetish, and so on.
That's really sad. It's also one of the main reasons why I started Dimensions all those decades ago, to help fat people and their admirers learn about each other and find each other. I have always felt that as long as there are fat people and those who seek and admire them, bringing those groups together made for a potential match made in heaven. And I still feel that way.
There is a reason why we are the way we are, why we are born a certain way or grow up to be a certain way. And there is a reason why we seek for someone special and have visions and dreams of that someone to fill the void and want in our lives. The big tragedy here simply is that FAs want and seek a human quality that is, in general, not considered attractive. So those who do consider fatness attractive feel/are made to feel that they are weird for wanting something that is considered bad by society. And those who are fat and hate being fat look with suspicion on those who find them attractive, and the last thing they want is to be reminded of the part of themselves that they hate.
So it's a case of wish-for-something (FAs) versus hate-to-be-that-something (fat people). And that makes for the "How dare you find me physically attractive! You are weird!" we see all too often. That's so sad as this denial of oneself, this self hatred, is the source of much misery where happiness could be, with or without a partner.
It's almost half a century later, and in many ways nothing has changed. When I look at many threads and posts here at Dimensions, the topic is how physical attraction shouldn't matter, that it's the inside that counts, that seeking fatness or certain attributes is just a fetish, and so on.
That's really sad. It's also one of the main reasons why I started Dimensions all those decades ago, to help fat people and their admirers learn about each other and find each other. I have always felt that as long as there are fat people and those who seek and admire them, bringing those groups together made for a potential match made in heaven. And I still feel that way.
There is a reason why we are the way we are, why we are born a certain way or grow up to be a certain way. And there is a reason why we seek for someone special and have visions and dreams of that someone to fill the void and want in our lives. The big tragedy here simply is that FAs want and seek a human quality that is, in general, not considered attractive. So those who do consider fatness attractive feel/are made to feel that they are weird for wanting something that is considered bad by society. And those who are fat and hate being fat look with suspicion on those who find them attractive, and the last thing they want is to be reminded of the part of themselves that they hate.
So it's a case of wish-for-something (FAs) versus hate-to-be-that-something (fat people). And that makes for the "How dare you find me physically attractive! You are weird!" we see all too often. That's so sad as this denial of oneself, this self hatred, is the source of much misery where happiness could be, with or without a partner.
