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FA Myths Thread #11

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musicman

I hate fat-haters!
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I don't mean this to sound rude, I may not be able to say this correctly so bear with me here. This is also just opinion its not a fact.

I believe that the sci/tech/eng boys gravitate toward bbw's because that's who they interact with on a day to day basis. On a friday night the "cool kids" are off hanging out while the non-cool kids are home watching tv or chatting online. Don't get me wrong, I know bbws that are out watching the football games or getting into trouble themselves but from what I read most of the girls in the community (opinion not fact) are the type to stay home and watch tv while chatting online. With that said, a sci/tech/eng kid will be associating with bbw's and will probably date one. Now he may not particularly like the option at first but once he starts enjoying the anatomy of a bbw he'll most likely wise up (again opinion not fact). Like I said, its not that there aren't girls who are into full contact sports and can talk the ear off a "cool kid" about it, but from what I've seen the girls around here tend to lean toward the geeky type.

I will say this though and I won't apologize for it. Just because someone is a tech nerd and someone else is a football player doesn't make him more intelligent than the other. It means they're both very good at what they do individually. The tech nerd may be able to erase viruses and change around executable files but he wouldn't know how to run a flag pattern the same way a football player can crack a cover 4 defense but has no chance in hell of installing antivirus software manually. Also, how does being good at chemistry or biology make someone more intelligent than a man who can fix cars? The true intelligent ones are the guys (and girls) that can do it all.

Anyway back to the original point. The Dr's point about how a tech nerd not caring about society is why they're F/A's is valid, I also think they became F/A's because of who was available to them in terms of friends and romantic interests.
Thank you for not wanting to sound rude. Neither do I, but you somehow read a lot of things in my post that weren't there. Perhaps you meant to respond to someone else's post. I don't recall mentioning football players, computer viruses, chemistry or biology, or anything about the superiority of "tech nerds". I don't know where you got all that. For the record, I would probably include a person who is passionate about fixing cars in the tech category.

My only point was that people who care less about society's opinion are more likely to be open about their sexual preferences.

That said, I have to disagree with your suggestion that tech nerds (or whoever we are talking about) somehow "became" FAs because they couldn't get dates with skinny women. Many FAs never wanted to date skinny women, because we felt no sexual attraction to them. Beyond that, your words strongly imply that fat women are merely a second choice after skinny women. I know you don't believe that, because it's a tremendous insult to fat women. (Re-read your post if you don't see that implication.) You might want to clarify your post.
 

KHayes666

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Thank you for not wanting to sound rude. Neither do I, but you somehow read a lot of things in my post that weren't there. Perhaps you meant to respond to someone else's post. I don't recall mentioning football players, computer viruses, chemistry or biology, or anything about the superiority of "tech nerds". I don't know where you got all that. For the record, I would probably include a person who is passionate about fixing cars in the tech category.

My only point was that people who care less about society's opinion are more likely to be open about their sexual preferences.

That said, I have to disagree with your suggestion that tech nerds (or whoever we are talking about) somehow "became" FAs because they couldn't get dates with skinny women. Many FAs never wanted to date skinny women, because we felt no sexual attraction to them. Beyond that, your words strongly imply that fat women are merely a second choice after skinny women. I know you don't believe that, because it's a tremendous insult to fat women. (Re-read your post if you don't see that implication.) You might want to clarify your post.
Like I said, I didn't word it correctly. My bad
 

Elfcat

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This is the "damning with faint praise" bit, intended to promote the idea that an FPL is not really an FPL, that someone who acts attracted to a fat person is doing so for other reasons. One set of reasons they opine are negative, but others go to this idea of being "noble", "able to see past the fat", and all this other nonsense.
 

Azrael

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This is the "damning with faint praise" bit, intended to promote the idea that an FPL is not really an FPL, that someone who acts attracted to a fat person is doing so for other reasons. One set of reasons they opine are negative, but others go to this idea of being "noble", "able to see past the fat", and all this other nonsense.
Yea I've heard of this one but I've also heard the one where they say that you're "true to yourself" and make it seem as if we're somehow better than other men for liking what you like.

I mean, while it's true it's not the social norm I would think that most guys would go after what they're attracted to not what society deems as "acceptable" regardless of their preference.
 

kioewen

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I would think that most guys would go after what they're attracted to not what society deems as "acceptable" regardless of their preference.
Given the many discussions that have come up here about people being "in the closet" about their preferences, or the cases of full-figured women who have said that men want to date them basically "in secret," I don't think this is the case. In fact, I suspect the opposite -- that many, possibly most people are very largely governed by "what society deems as acceptable" when it comes to whom they get involved with, and that a vastly smaller minority follow their heart, especially the further away from the media/society-approved standard their inclinations take them.
 

MrRabbit

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"FAs are somehow more "evolved", intelligent, empathetic and courageous than everyone else."
Judging by the reactions and comments I often see from some fellow FAs (not necessarily on these boards) I doubt this... :rolleyes:

To add to what has been discussed in the recent replies: I am an engineer and I think I may have some autistic traits, so I seem to be fitting the stereotype ;)
 

Dr. P Marshall

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At the risk of being flamed, let me suggest another possibility here. One of my heroes is Temple Grandin, who is an engineer and is autistic. Several times in her writings she has pointed out that a great number of engineers score high on the autism scale. To grossly oversimplify, autism involves seeing things in a different, more detailed way than most people: Dr. Grandin has said that an autistic person sees all the leaves on a tree. Most of us don't "see" what's in front of us: we categorize it as belonging to a certain concept, and we "see" our (blurry) mental picture of the concept (This is why people who are asked to draw a tree come up with something that looks like a lollipop. There is a book called Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain that discusses ways for the artist to get away from concepts and simply draw what is there; it's hard to do). We say that FA's and FFA's see the beauty in fat people that others cannot see; I wonder if a lot of them are a little further towards the autistic end of the perception spectrum* and are in fact picking up details that others ignore by reducing a fat person to a concept and not seeing what is there? :confused:

*I am aware that this is true for me.
This is interesting. I wonder what the percentages would be if someone studied it? Although, I'm not any of those things and I'm an FFA, but I have two male FA in my family and one definitely is a very technical/computer genius type. I'll get in even more trouble than you and theorize further.:p If that's true that many FA and FFA are borderline autistic or outright autistic, it could explain a lot about the stories of strange behavior and lack of social skills that are presented as stereotypical of fat admirers. Again, this is just theory, and it certainly doesn't cover all of us, nor am I saying all engineers, etc. have bad social skills, or that bad FA behavior is excusable, etc, etc, etc, CMA.:p
 

olwen

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"FAs are somehow more "evolved", intelligent, empathetic and courageous than everyone else."

One note: Please make suggestions for future threads in the myths and misconceptions thread. Try to stay on topic.

Other than that: BEGIN!
I've never once heard anyone say that FAs are more evolved, intelligent, empathetic or courageous than everyone else. Where the heck did this myth come from anyway?

They're just people. Same as everyone else.
 
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I really think that FAs' lack of social contact because of the autism thing is what leads them to date and/or approach fat women or fat men because the fat person is more likely to not have much experience in the arena of dating experience, so they don't know that the person's inappropriateness is what drives away potential dates, leading them to seek out fat people because they perceive us as friendlier, more tolerant, and in general, someone that won't know that the person is eating with his/her hands (like the last FA I dated) or that they left no tip (one before that) or that they are cheap, horrifically ugly or old or want something.

I don't hate them for it but the fact is, if these people could get Megan Fox or Chris Hemsworth, they'd do it like anyone else. Yes, we may have pretty faces, great personalities, intelligence, senses of humor, but in the long run, when the Firewind concert comes on Oct 16, I will remain dateless for that just like the last 4 concerts I went to, getting no numbers, not even one drunk wackjob hitting on me, and being instantly "friend zoned" by any decent-looking guy I know or ever meet and no male interest of any kind, one comes down to a conclusion: Nobody normal wants to date a fat person. And if they do, it's because they like our personality not our looks.

And that is why I no longer bother with my appearance over being clean and keeping my hair out of my face. Worrying about my appearance as a fat woman is like being a falling tree in the woods: No one is there to see it or hear it.
 

Fat Brian

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I really think that FAs' lack of social contact because of the autism thing is what leads them to date and/or approach fat women or fat men because the fat person is more likely to not have much experience in the arena of dating experience, so they don't know that the person's inappropriateness is what drives away potential dates, leading them to seek out fat people because they perceive us as friendlier, more tolerant, and in general, someone that won't know that the person is eating with his/her hands (like the last FA I dated) or that they left no tip (one before that) or that they are cheap, horrifically ugly or old or want something.

I don't hate them for it but the fact is, if these people could get Megan Fox or Chris Hemsworth, they'd do it like anyone else. Yes, we may have pretty faces, great personalities, intelligence, senses of humor, but in the long run, when the Firewind concert comes on Oct 16, I will remain dateless for that just like the last 4 concerts I went to, getting no numbers, not even one drunk wackjob hitting on me, and being instantly "friend zoned" by any decent-looking guy I know or ever meet and no male interest of any kind, one comes down to a conclusion: Nobody normal wants to date a fat person. And if they do, it's because they like our personality not our looks.

And that is why I no longer bother with my appearance over being clean and keeping my hair out of my face. Worrying about my appearance as a fat woman is like being a falling tree in the woods: No one is there to see it or hear it.
There are some people who date fat people for the reasons you mentioned but I'm not one of them. I chose a fat partner because I actually (GASP!) wanted a fat partner. I enjoy and prefer to be with a fat woman and would not leave her if a thin woman became available. I'm not perfect, but I'm not so broken that I view my partner as less than a person and treat her with respect. I'll say it again, there are no negative, shameful, closeted, or disrespectful parts to my fat girl love, and I'm not the only one.

I'm not with a fat person because its all I could get, if I had wanted a thin person I could have had one, they aren't unicorns, I see them everyday. Each person has their own attractions and turn offs and their own traits, you just have to find someone who likes what you've got and you like them back, its nothing more than that.
 

Russ2d

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This "myth" does not exist, except in this thread.

I have always been an FA, I never wanted to date a thin woman, and I am not autistic.

Yes I have a science background but that means nothing. In my experience FAs come from all walks of life just like any other group.
 

*Goofy*Girl*

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I don't hate them for it but the fact is, if these people could get Megan Fox or Chris Hemsworth, they'd do it like anyone else.

I USED TO think that way. And true, there are SOME people that masquerade as FA's when they are in fact not.

However, there are some men that I have spoken with that said they find a skinny body repulsive, unfeminine, and not a turn on at all. So no, they definitely wouldn't go for Megan Fox.
 
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I USED TO think that way. And true, there are SOME people that masquerade as FA's when they are in fact not.

However, there are some men that I have spoken with that said they find a skinny body repulsive, unfeminine, and not a turn on at all. So no, they definitely wouldn't go for Megan Fox.
Okay, but they also usually don't go for Gabourey Sidibe either. Sorry, but maybe like 1 out of 1,000 men is a chubby chaser, but the rest are just settling. Sad but true, and that is why I don't even get attracted to anyone anymore. Why bother with it when there aren't enough potential dates to go around? So I can spend money I don't have buying makeup, perfume, and clothes to impress other fat women who will have the same deluded idea that we all look so pretty that the (largely non-existent) FA's will all come out of the woodwork and we will be barraged with so many suitors we won't know what to do?

It's nice for you that you believe that. It really is, but wait until you are shot down by any and all men you are attracted to anywhere and always the sexless fat friend, never the girlfriend. You'll eventually get the idea.

Denial is not just a river in Egypt.
 

GentleSavage

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I'm so empathetic to the point where a psychic actually told me I was psychic because of my obscene empathy levels, and all I had to do was awaken them (basically pay attention to that part of myself).

But I don't really think I'm more evolved or anything. A psychic just told me I was psychic... or whatever. It was a creepy day/rest of the semester after that.

off topic...
 

CastingPearls

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Nobody normal wants to date a fat person. And if they do, it's because they like our personality not our looks.

And that is why I no longer bother with my appearance over being clean and keeping my hair out of my face. Worrying about my appearance as a fat woman is like being a falling tree in the woods: No one is there to see it or hear it.
Do you believe this to be real or is this part of a myth construct because there are plenty of normal people who want to date (heh I originally typed 'eat') fat people. Do you really think no one notices fat women in a positive way? Finds them attractive? Alluring? Sexy? That's not my experience and I find it hard to believe that's your experience too unless you deliberately make yourself unattractive (not saying you do at all) but the last part of your post is rather confusing or defeatist. And depressing. And for the record, I HAVE been rejected or dismissed PLENTY but I still get plenty of attention too. Maybe it's not your appearance but your attitude?

I'm really not knocking you but trying to figure this out. I'm genuinely curious.

EDT: Like Disconnectedsmile said: I really hope things get better for you.
 

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