For Men Only: What Do You Wish Women Knew?

Discussion in 'Daily Living' started by rainyday, Feb 7, 2007.

  1. Jul 10, 2007 #101

    fatlane

    fatlane

    fatlane

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    I don't think I saw these mentioned... so here goes.

    1. Sometimes our scrotums get wedged in strange ways and we have to reach in to readjust the settings. Please understand.

    That's about it. There are things I could direct at individual women, but that's the one thing I would want other women to know. There can be real pain between the legs if we sit down in a bad way.
     
    Carrie likes this.
  2. Jul 10, 2007 #102

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

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    rollerballsrollerballs
     
  3. Jul 10, 2007 #103

    vardon_grip

    vardon_grip

    vardon_grip

    Consistently smarmy

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    In the spirit of fairness I went to my JohnGreyBarbaraDeAngelisDaliThe LlamaBabarThe ElephantHelenKeller reference book to translate this post and came up with some interesting stuff.


    Don't look for things for me to do.
    I feel bad when it seems like I’m being treated as a servant
    Don't ask for me to be brutally honest and then lock me out of the bedroom. I'm tired of knocking down the door anyway.
    I would like equality in our relationship
    Don't tell me what a good driver you are... show me.
    Actions speak louder than words
    I'd be happy to take out the trash.
    I love to be useful
    The car is a tool, a weapon even, not your changing room, a vanity, or a phone booth.
    I worry about your safety
    Stay off of the phone for a change.
    I like my time with you
    Stay off of the internet for a change.
    I love my time with you
    Scratch my back.
    I like it when you touch me
    Let me brush your hair.
    I like to show you that I desire you
    Stay out of my way if you see 'that' look in my eye...
    Never follow me into my cave. There's a fire breathing dragon in there that's rather uninterested in good manners.
    Sometimes I get upset and need a little space to come to terms with that anger. Sometimes I like to have some “Me” time
    Smell good.
    Taste good.
    I like it when you take care of yourself

    Make my eyes twinkle when I see you.
    Wow! You look great!
    Don't get to fretting if I don't feel like talking. You have girlfriends that are plenty adept at all of that 24/7.
    I appreciate that you are concerned about me
    Never leave me.
    Sometimes I need a little reassurance
    Wear your hair long. Even when it goes gray. It adds to your feminity.
    I enjoy you and all of your womanhood
    Don't wear too much make up.
    Sometimes…less is more
    Tell me when my breath is bad. Don't worry, I can take it.
    I don’t mind self improvement
    Tell me what you like more than what you don't like.
    You attract more flies with honey than with vinegar. Be Positive
    Put my hands where you want them, too.
    (Nothing to comment)
    Talk to me when I'm under the car. It's easier to listen when I've got a vehicle suspended over me. Besides, I like the company.
    I like company while doing chores
    Don't toy with me. Paybacks are beyond wicked.
    Please don’t play with my emotions.
    Don't be my opponent, be my right hand.
    Be my partner and I will be yours
    I don't like to compete with a vibrator.
    Go easy on my male ego and I will do the same
    If I ever go quiet in an argument---you lose.
    If we stop communicating-WE both lose
    Play with me. Even work can be fun.
    I really like being with you and having your around
    Work on your own manners. You can remind me to be considerate, though.
    I like it when we respect each other
    Never hold out on me.
    I like it when we share
    I'm smarter than I look and you'd better get used to it.
    I want to be appreciated
    The biggest one is this:
    Bitterness and bitchiness; hatefullness and a cutting tongue will guarantee your loneliness. I'll be long gone before the door closes behind me. I promise.
    I strive to have respect for myself and for you and in doing so I cannot allow negativity in my life.


    "Erleichda"
     
    tnekkralc1956 likes this.
  4. Jul 10, 2007 #104

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

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    ... but the distributor is still good. Soon as 24 hours is up I'll thank you folks proper. On My Word.

    Keep it coming. Hey badder-badder-badder swing. We're not demoralizing anyone here, are we? Victims? Anyone? Even in spite of my press! You boys and gurlz sing with the angels, come together right now...

    (Frankly, I like the women to post, rainybabe;... means they still like men... a little bit... sort of... kain't foller directions tho---Hold fast. We're over here looking across the lake at Camp Spillinover wondering when will it ever end.

    OK. To be blunt:

    We're over here checking on you girls, too.)

    face it: this page is NOW like Saturday Night Live for men (do you really miss missing me?), and these other guys (not me) can still get the point across with humor and grace, even if the other 'theys' can't quit buttin' in, right!? Hecklers abound. Goes with the territory. Some of them are flappable---and some are not. You know who you are. All comers welcome, right guys? We know what it means when 'they' cross the line towards us, dont we? Am I the only one that gets this delightful asymmetry?


    I admit it: I love for you to butt in... just so I can see you make that face and (everybody) 'ROLL YOUR EYES'.

    Yeah. You know what I see in the girl I fell in love with. Isn't that so?

    Women are the delight in my life, and I'll kick anyone's rump that would be contrary to it.

    Only one makes me delight in the journey's end, though. She knows her name. Discretion is the greater part of valor according to me.

    The rest of you entirely overestimate me. Shucks.............

    Who couldn't love the likes of all of you? ALL of you? Humanly impossible. Some have already shown me how impossible it would be to even give me a drink of water. Are you kidding? Need a vodka chaser---shaken not stirred. Cheapskates.

    Now who's judging who? If you guessed 'neither of us', read on:

    You read crap into my wrytings and tell me what I THINK AND FEEL as if you knew how you felt, you bundle of electricity. And I still let you slither away. Then you rare up and bite and I simply show you my tail and you relax---

    Renderings are in order.

    Gentlemen, correct me if I'm wrong. We really don't want to pull out the big guns... until its big gun time, do we?

    Get an Amen to that?

    This is a Love Love relationship. That's right. I'm a God-loving-earth-respecting-water-enthralled-more-than-you-bargained-for-educated-hippie-moron.

    (the rest of you don't have to acknowledge this outburst)

    Somebody boil the frog.
     
  5. Jul 11, 2007 #105

    snuggletiger

    snuggletiger

    snuggletiger

    Clowns Fear Me

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    Nice thing about this thread, is some of the ladies post and you sort of get their perspective. I wish women would know that men do have a place in the world and not for someone to bash ala Friedan & the Feminist Movement..
     
  6. Jul 11, 2007 #106

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

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    love indeed.
     
  7. Jul 11, 2007 #107

    Tina

    Tina

    Tina

    Older and wiser now

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    This is the men's thread -- women, stay out. If there are any more nasty posts, the whole thread will be moved to Hyde Park, which isn't really where this thread was intended for. Seems like everyone should have said their piece by now, so let's get back to the regularly-scheduled programming, okay? [/mod]
     
    Esme likes this.
  8. Jul 11, 2007 #108

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

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    ...you'd say that. We all need to go get a beer.
     
    Sandie S-R likes this.
  9. Jul 11, 2007 #109

    fatlane

    fatlane

    fatlane

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    Except for those of us who prefer not to consume alcohol.

    I'll still drink poison, though: Beijing tap water in a dirty glass, please!
     
  10. Jul 11, 2007 #110

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

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    ... I kind of miss all that mouthing off that got pulled. Oh, well, I hear there's a lot of women talk going on across the lake at Camp Spillinover. Tell 'em tnek sent you... then be prepared to run.

    Seriously, they've got some great things over there on the sisters thread for us to read. Navigate at your own risk. RedVelvet, rainyday, and several others have excellent things to say. Worth the read.

    So here you go:

    When I'm buried in work and commitments, help me lighten up.

    I'm not trying to walk ahead of you, I just take long steps.

    Money is no object, except when we don't have any.

    You are a good part of my inspiration.

    Let me do the hard part in the world. I wear that leathery look better than you do.

    Emperors of ancient China and Japan held women in high esteem as advisors in their royal courts. I am counting on your insight, too, my Empress.

    Don't ever lose that touchy feely thing you do.

    I hate that lamp. I'm going to accidently break it if you don't do something better with it.

    Eat with me at least once a day. The intimacy is bonding.

    You can talk to me anytime, but sometimes are better than others.

    Make it clear that you are venting, not looking for solutions.

    I'm not a girl, so spare me the girl talk.

    I like going shopping with you, as long as you know where you are going.

    I like that you like my opinion.

    I like that you like to please me. Ditto.

    OK, I won't tear down the motorcycle carbs in the kitchen sink. We've got a tub for that.

    Allright, I won't stay up so late, but it means I'll be getting up very early.

    When you are proud of me, I feel like I can do almost anything.

    I'm not looking at your crotch, I just like the way your hips move.

    You're looking at my crotch, aren't you?

    Make all the noise you want during lovemaking, just don't wake the neighbors... yet.

    If you want to remember my birthday, don't do it with a pair of socks or a tie, OK?

    Write your birthday and our anniversary down somewhere where I'll see it.

    I hope its not too much trouble, but I really like the way you wash the car...

    That damn poodle isn't a real dog. My doberman is.

    Locking me out of the bedroom will only insure broken hinges. Nobody locks me out of my own house or any part of it. Besides, I just kicked the door down to get my pillow. Was planning on sleeping on the couch anyway. Care to join me?

    TV is sometimes more than a distraction. It's a tool of meditation to reach a higher conscious plane.

    Feeling good is your job. Feeling you is my job.

    Keep the frilly stuff around the house to a minimum, please. What will my friends think?

    I like it when you wear tight clothes, too, but don't cut off your circulation on my account...

    Yes, I was looking at that woman. It means as little as stopping to smell the roses.

    Don't make me work too hard for it. Remember, there are plenty out there ready to just give it away...

    You don't want a 'pussy' and I don't want a 'dick'. We should be able to get along.

    I like your mother as long as she doesn't interfere.

    Wear your hair like that more often.

    Don't be surprised if I try to ravage you in the reference section the next time we go to the library. Just trying to get debriefed, is all.

    I'm not sulking when I'm quiet. Not this time, anyway.

    Tell me dinner's ready about thirty minutes in advance. That will usually give me time to wind things up and make myself presentable.

    I like to cook, too. Yeah, I know that turns you on.

    Read to me from your latest literary indulgence. I may or may not be interested in it, but I am interested in hearing your voice.

    I like it when you lay your head on my shoulder and sigh.

    Leave the cats outside for a change. I promise, they'll get used to it.
     
    Tina and Risible like this.
  11. Jul 11, 2007 #111

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

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    ... I really like your cats. I have an African Grey. We need to keep them apart. She stays indoors, too.
     
  12. Jul 11, 2007 #112

    Allie Cat

    Allie Cat

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    Despite any jokes I may make to the contrary, I love cats :p especially with ketchup.

    ...I forgot what I've already said. -.-

    =Divals
     
  13. Jul 11, 2007 #113

    Wagimawr

    Wagimawr

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    I'm a man...but I can change...if I have to...I guess...
    [​IMG]
    :D
     
  14. Jul 12, 2007 #114

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

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    ...Since we've already shown tremendous decorum and restraint over here, lets dispense with that old thing and try something new: A joke or a line in a song that is in keeping with the thread theme. No biting, no scratching. That's my job. After all, I'm real, real gone.

    I'll start:

    "I'm a genuine example of a social disease"---Elton John

    Translation:
    What you see is... just on the surface. It's really much worse than that...

    "Sometimes I lied to make her happy,
    sometimes she'd lie to me to see if would lie some more."---Statler Bros

    Trans:
    Don't expect me to voluntarily put my foot in my mouth. You seem to know how to do it for me and I let you do it, in case you don't know that.

    "You can't have your Kate and Edith, too..."---Statler Bros

    Trans:
    Sorry, honey, all men aren't into that despite what you've been told. I have to have you all to myself when I have to have you.

    "We fixed a tire and we drove like hell,
    we kissed like fire in a cheap motel..."---Aaron Neville

    Trans:
    Sometimes intense situations make me want to ravage you. It's way better than being angry.

    "A tear may appear when I hold you near..."

    Trans:
    "...but that's for the sweet things you do"---George Jones
     
  15. Jul 12, 2007 #115

    snuggletiger

    snuggletiger

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    "Love is the delusion that one woman is different from the others."----H.L. Mencken
     
  16. Jul 13, 2007 #116

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

    tnekkralc1956

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    Trans: You have so much more to hate me for: I spell better than you do and your cats prefer to sleep with me. Damn, that's gotta hurt.

    "I'm not evil, I'm just drawn that way'---Jessica Rabbitt

    Trans: Looks are meant to be deceiving. My heart isn't.

    'Don't think twice, it's alright"---Bob Dylan

    Trans: I've got your back covered. Can we go to sleep now?

    "Don't you worry 'bout a thing, pretty momma, don't you worry 'bout a thing; 'cause I'll be standing in the wing when you check it out'--- Stevie Wonder

    Trans: Your fretting is making me nervous.

    "Well, Go-Olly ma'am, Ah didn't mean nothing lack thay-at. Ah thank you misunderstood me..."---Gomer Pyle, USMC

    The time I spend explaining myself is better spent with you another way.

    "Walk through this world with me, go where I go"---George Jones

    Trans: I can't do this without you.

    "You got me darlin' please, Layla"---Eric Clapton

    Trans: You don't have to play dirty games to get what you want.

    "I think you're really groovy, let's go out to a movie, Eleanor, dear, I think I love you"---the Turtles

    Let me be spontaneous.

    "...And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin and sodium,

    These are the only ones of which
    the news has come to Ha'vard
    And there may be many others
    But they haven't been discavard."---Tom Lehrer

    Sometimes I just want to show off what I know. Bear with me. I crave your adulation.

    "Don't eat the yellow snow"---Frank Zappa

    Trans: Somethings are just obvious and don't require my input.

    "Pretty eyed, pirate smile"---Elton John

    Trans: Ooof. Don't use it against me.

    "Someday you'll know I was the one, but tomorrow may rain so I'll follow the sun"---McCartney & Lennon

    Trans: Don't deny the clues. You got daylight standing right in front of you.

    "Country girl I think you're pretty, got to make you understand, got no others in the city, let me be your country man."---Neil Young

    Trans: Don't doubt my faithfulness to you. You're the only drink for me.

    "I know where you keep your gun... suppose that's something..."---James Bond

    Trans: sometimes getting the draw on me will do no more than catch you with your ammunition in my hand. Go ahead, pull the trigger. Click.
     
  17. Jul 14, 2007 #117

    biodieselman

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    I can totally relate to much of your masculine, manly mullings, tnek. Occasionally it's good to get away from the constant cackling of hens & hear manly things;) because I never quite know the 'PC' thing to say to 'men' like this.:rolleyes:

    "Remember men, I'm pullin' for ya, we're all in this together"

    *************************************************************************************************

    All right now!, Every one sit down!, be seated!, have a seat!, every one!, sit down!.

    OK, all rise!

    (All recite together!) "Quando omni flunkus moritati"
    (translation..."If all else fails, play dead.".)

    Bow your heads for the Man's Prayer.

    I'm a man...but I can change...if I have to...I guess...

    Wag, I didn't know you were a member of the "International Possum Brotherhood".:rolleyes:
     
    rainyday and tnekkralc1956 like this.
  18. Jul 14, 2007 #118

    Wagimawr

    Wagimawr

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    They just have simple doctrines.

    1) Duct Tape Solves Everything.

    In layman's terms:
    If it moves and shouldn't, use WD40.
    If it shouldn't move and doesn't, use duct tape.
    If it [none of the above], blow it up.
     
  19. Jul 14, 2007 #119

    boogiebomb

    boogiebomb

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    I HATE it when women do that. Why do they do that? I wish women would realize that men are not like them. If you want to be with a man who is like a woman, date gay guys.
     
  20. Jul 18, 2007 #120

    malvineous

    malvineous

    malvineous

    Hairy Thunderer

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    I thought of something new to put on here.

    Women should learn how to debate properly. When they argue, it seems what they do for the most part is repeat their position over and over, filibuster, or use the “but it happened to me and this is how I feel about it” line. This is not debate. It goes point, then COUNTERpoint.

    But most importantly, women need to learn how to react when they’ve won. It is hard for a man to admit that he’s wrong, but if he knows he is, he will do so every time. It usually happens quickly though, so I think many women tend to miss it and continue the fight. Also, when a man admits that he’s wrong and then follows it up with an explanation about how he reached that conclusion, this is NOT continuing the argument. He already let the woman win, he’s only telling her that he’s not a complete idiot, and tries to help her see that there may be a logical reason for him to reach the conclusion that he did. The proper response would be to acknowledge his mistake as having been a logical one to him, but a mistake none the less, and then change the subject so everyone can go on with their day.
     

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