Have you ever felt both guilty and turned on? (My dilemma)

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~KawaiiFFA~

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I'm in a bit of a pickle.

My boyfriend has an immune disorder (CVID) and as a result has had arthritis since he was 16 (he's 21.) Lately it's gotten really bad and last week it was at the point where he couldn't walk more than a few steps. His doctor put him on a pill called Prednisone to reduce inflammation but warned that he might gain ten pounds a week (He's around 315 now.) Why he would do this when he repeatedly tells him he needs to lose weight to be in less pain I don't know, but I'm not a doctor.

So my dilemma is that my boyfriend has been on this pill for all of 4 days and I can already tell he's gained weight. He's been eating whole ice cream cakes and pizzas and bowls of pasta in single sittings and I know it's the pill. He's still in a lot of pain and I feel super-bad about being turned on by his quasi-immobility/extreme appetite, mainly because at the end of the day, I'd rather have a thin boyfriend than no boyfriend at all, and he does need to lose weight because of his illness.

He told me not to feel bad about it and has actually been doing more fetish related things, but I worry about the long-term. So, have any of you ever felt guilty about something related to your fetish but simultaneously super turned on? Is he right that I shouldn't feel guilty at all? :confused:

Thanks. Just kind of had to get this off my chest and figured I'd post it here to hear others' experiences.

(And if you know anything about arthritis or this pill, feel free to let me know.)
 

cakeboy

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Prednisone will spike blood sugar, cause insomnia and minor mood disturbances. It also makes people very, very hungry. I wouldn't worry about feeling guilty for being turned on - most guys I know are pretty okay with having an attractive, horny girlfriend. Enjoy!
 

djudex

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It's perfectly normal to feel that kind of struggle and it just shows you're an emotionally healthy human being, it's the classic war of your base urges versus your humanity. It's hard not to feel a tad guilty when what is making your engines rev is also causing someone else discomfort but really all you can do is be loving, be supportive, convince him to go back to the doctor to get something that works better (or at all) for his problems and enjoy riding the fat boy rocketship in the meantime.

My brother has quite bad arthritis and he's always looking in to new and entertaining ways to fight it. They say for a natural solution that tumeric is supposed to help but it has to be taken with something (in this case probably cooked in to food would be best!) so the stomach acid doesn't simply wipe it out on contact.
 

MrBob

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It's perfectly normal to feel that kind of struggle and it just shows you're an emotionally healthy human being, it's the classic war of your base urges versus your humanity. It's hard not to feel a tad guilty when what is making your engines rev is also causing someone else discomfort but really all you can do is be loving, be supportive, convince him to go back to the doctor to get something that works better (or at all) for his problems and enjoy riding the fat boy rocketship in the meantime.

My brother has quite bad arthritis and he's always looking in to new and entertaining ways to fight it. They say for a natural solution that tumeric is supposed to help but it has to be taken with something (in this case probably cooked in to food would be best!) so the stomach acid doesn't simply wipe it out on contact.
You can get Circumin supplements (which is the active compound in Turmeric) that are in a bio-available form. Also, Vitamin D3 supplements are good for helping inflammation. A big guy could easily require 10,000 IU's a day.
 

~KawaiiFFA~

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Thanks for the advice. I will definitely look into those supplements.

And I guess I just need to remind myself of this:

It's perfectly normal to feel that kind of struggle and it just shows you're an emotionally healthy human being.
No one can help what gets them going. It would only be a real issue if I totally disregarded my partner's health and well-being for the sake of a fantasy...something that sadly, I have actually seen happen before.
 

LeoGibson

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It's perfectly normal to feel that kind of struggle and it just shows you're an emotionally healthy human being, it's the classic war of your base urges versus your humanity. It's hard not to feel a tad guilty when what is making your engines rev is also causing someone else discomfort but really all you can do is be loving, be supportive, convince him to go back to the doctor to get something that works better (or at all) for his problems and enjoy riding the fat boy rocketship in the meantime.

My brother has quite bad arthritis and he's always looking in to new and entertaining ways to fight it. They say for a natural solution that tumeric is supposed to help but it has to be taken with something (in this case probably cooked in to food would be best!) so the stomach acid doesn't simply wipe it out on contact.
I'll second MrBob's advice about supplementation. Curcumin is the active compound in Turmeric that fights inflammation. Make sure your brother gets one with either biperine, piperine, or black pepper extract in the ingredients list. That is what activates the Curcumin. If you cook with Turmeric make sure and put a good dose of black pepper with it. That will get it working.

I have chronic tendinitis in my wrist, and have just begun to get over tennis elbow after about 8 months, as well as what I think is arthritis in both hands, as soon as my health insurance kicks in in a couple weeks I plan a doctor visit to get that one confirmed. But the regimen I use to help me cope is vitamin B6 as inflammation robs this vitamin from your body, Curcumin, and a blend of essential fatty acids. The Vitamin Shoppe has all these at decent prices and they are pretty good, however I prefer to get it from Biotest as I have used a lot of their products off and on for years to good results. If you go with Biotest, you want to hit it with Curcumin, Flameout, and FA3. They have different blends of EFA's at The Vitamin Shoppe so just look for some that covers all the bases like the two from Biotest, and they have Curcumin by name there.

You can find those here Biotest.

Or here if you prefer The Vitamin Shoppe.

@Kawaii, that prednisone is bad juju long term, I can't say any of this would absolutely work for your guy, but if it was me, I would look into a cortisone injection at the problem area for a quick fix to get ambulatory and get some relief, and then attack the inflammation naturally with the above mentioned protocol. It takes 4-8 weeks to build up in the body and start showing good results. It is not a quick fix, that's why I suggest a cortisone shot first. If that didn't work, then I'd go for the prednisone. But that's just me, and I'm no doctor, so take it for what it's worth. Good luck.
 

~KawaiiFFA~

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I'll second MrBob's advice about supplementation. Curcumin is the active compound in Turmeric that fights inflammation. Make sure your brother gets one with either biperine, piperine, or black pepper extract in the ingredients list. That is what activates the Curcumin. If you cook with Turmeric make sure and put a good dose of black pepper with it. That will get it working.

I have chronic tendinitis in my wrist, and have just begun to get over tennis elbow after about 8 months, as well as what I think is arthritis in both hands, as soon as my health insurance kicks in in a couple weeks I plan a doctor visit to get that one confirmed. But the regimen I use to help me cope is vitamin B6 as inflammation robs this vitamin from your body, Curcumin, and a blend of essential fatty acids. The Vitamin Shoppe has all these at decent prices and they are pretty good, however I prefer to get it from Biotest as I have used a lot of their products off and on for years to good results. If you go with Biotest, you want to hit it with Curcumin, Flameout, and FA3. They have different blends of EFA's at The Vitamin Shoppe so just look for some that covers all the bases like the two from Biotest, and they have Curcumin by name there.

You can find those here Biotest.

Or here if you prefer The Vitamin Shoppe.

@Kawaii, that prednisone is bad juju long term, I can't say any of this would absolutely work for your guy, but if it was me, I would look into a cortisone injection at the problem area for a quick fix to get ambulatory and get some relief, and then attack the inflammation naturally with the above mentioned protocol. It takes 4-8 weeks to build up in the body and start showing good results. It is not a quick fix, that's why I suggest a cortisone shot first. If that didn't work, then I'd go for the prednisone. But that's just me, and I'm no doctor, so take it for what it's worth. Good luck.
Wow, thanks, that's a lot of information. Yeah, personally I think the doctor should have looked into other options before hastily prescribing this, but again, I'm not a professional.

I will certainly pass this along because he doesn't want to be on this pill if he doesn't have to.
 

LeoGibson

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Wow, thanks, that's a lot of information. Yeah, personally I think the doctor should have looked into other options before hastily prescribing this, but again, I'm not a professional.

I will certainly pass this along because he doesn't want to be on this pill if he doesn't have to.
P.S. I also forgot to add, and this one is easier said than done, especially for me, but eliminating as much sugar from the diet as possible will help inflammation. It breeds off of sugar. So anything that spikes the blood sugar high, it would be helpful to limit the amount consumed. In short, sugar or anthing that rapidly turns to sugar in the body should be severely limited to fight inflammation.

I know, sounds good in theory, but when that big ol' chocolate mousse cake is just sitting there begging to be ate, whatcha gonna do?:D
 

Cobra Verde

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You know now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever felt one without the other. Thanks, Catholicism.
 

~KawaiiFFA~

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You know now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever felt one without the other. Thanks, Catholicism.
LOL. I have OCD so scrupulosity is a thing I deal with...yeah. I left Christianity years ago so that helps a little with the endless guilt but...not completely. :/
 

Tad

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Have I? Oh yah.....pretty much since forever. Amongst other things my wife has a history of problems with her knees, and occasionally she's aggravated things to the point where she has to stay mostly off her feet for a while, which inevitably results in weight gain--which she dislikes and which is apt to make her knees worse, so which I don't want to happen for her sake....but darn it if it isn't a turn on! :doh: :doh: :doh:

If anything I think maybe maybe feeling guilty about it almost adds to the turn on, as it makes it feel more naughty or taboo and I have the classic WASP issues with anything taboo having some sex appeal simply because it is taboo.
 

sarahe543

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i feel bad because my man has lost weight since we have been together. his trousers are loose and he seemed please and said its because of all the sex :D guilt because i i don't want him to get too small. he's in a 4 or 5 xl shirt currently and that's just divine MMMMMMM
 

~KawaiiFFA~

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If anything I think maybe maybe feeling guilty about it almost adds to the turn on, as it makes it feel more naughty or taboo and I have the classic WASP issues with anything taboo having some sex appeal simply because it is taboo.
Sometimes I think this is part of my problem. I can't tell sometimes I'm giving into the guilt for the sake of being turned on a bit.

i feel bad because my man has lost weight since we have been together. his trousers are loose and he seemed please and said its because of all the sex :D guilt because i i don't want him to get too small. he's in a 4 or 5 xl shirt currently and that's just divine MMMMMMM
Yeah, I feel you. Whenever my boyfriend says the word "diet" I fly into panic mode and then feel really guilty about it.

Also, just the words "4 or 5xl" are enough to make me swoon. :wubu:
 

sarahe543

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oh i know. when i said i like something to grab hold of and he said :i noticed' my legs turned to jelly
 

BigChaz

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Sometimes I think this is part of my problem. I can't tell sometimes I'm giving into the guilt for the sake of being turned on a bit.



Yeah, I feel you. Whenever my boyfriend says the word "diet" I fly into panic mode and then feel really guilty about it.

Also, just the words "4 or 5xl" are enough to make me swoon. :wubu:
Hello.



4 or 5xl.



nailed it.
 

f0nzw0rth

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Im still very new to this forum and new to all of this...never knew any of this existed...In my life so far if I mention a 4xl shirt the girls I know jump out the window
also I have nothing to offer in the form of advise lol
I bring nothing to the table
 

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