In "Looking For Fat Facts," I requested some information on fat stigmas and such. I mentioned that the point was to write a note to my college about fat acceptance. I figured I'd post it here first, just to see if you guys had any critiques.
I go to a Christian college of around 2,000 students, so that's the audience. And it also explains the religious overtones. So please forgive those. Anyway here it is. Comment as you see fit. And yes, I can take criticism.
He Makes All Things Well
So around that age when I realized that girls were attractive - like really, really attractive - I also realized some things about myself. You see, I thought the girls that my peers thought were attractive were indeed attractive. But I also realized that there was a whole other category that those peers of mine never mentioned: the fat girls. And I liked them. They were pretty, cute, attractive, whatever word you want to put in the blank. Fat girls - in my mind at least - could be beautiful just like the rest of them.
It took me no time at all to realize that I was the minority. A minority of one, I thought. Out of my intense curiosity I went to the Internet to find out "what was wrong with me." After a bit of research, though, I realized that I wasn't alone, that there wasn't anything wrong with me after all. There was a whole community of people out there who were either Men (Fat Admirer's or FA's) who thought that fat could be beautiful and Women (Big Beautiful Women or BBW's) who knew that even though they were 5 or 500 pounds overweight, they could be beautiful.
That was years ago and it changed my perspective on a lot of things. But nothing really sank in. I joked about that whole community my freshman year of college.
"Did you know that there's people out there who like fat girls?" I'd ask.
"No!" others would respond, shocked.
"Yes," I would respond. And I would stop there.
I eventually did tell some of my closest friends, but only after much deliberation and not a small share of embarrassment. Now I'm sure you're asking, "Why are you telling us this?" And I suppose it's a fair question. Perhaps I'm like most and just using this as a soapbox, like a lot of other people who write Facebook notes and blog entries. But I don't think I am. That aside, I already have a girlfriend who is nowhere near overweight, so it's not like I need to make an excuse for myself. So what's the point? Why the "confession"?
Well, I realized that I had fallen into a trap of society. Twenty-first century Western society tells us that certain things and people are beautiful and certain things and people are not. We grow up within and surrounded by these ideas and we - for the most part - succumb to them. That's simply what society does: makes its people conform to its image
But then I remembered this lyric by Christian worship leader Chris Tomlin: "He [God] makes all things well." In other words, "God ain't made no junk." Beauty can be found in anyone and anything. The fact that the girl down the street is 50 pounds overweight and is expected to change her size, shape, and appearance because society tells her so isn't an indictment on her, but rather on society. Contrary to popular belief, fat is not inherently evil, ugly, or to be despised. No more than children are inherently cute. Or annoying. Or even that mountains are inherently beautiful. Did you know that during the 1700's in France, mountains were considered ugly and not aesthetically pleasing? A king once built his queen a palace with no windows facing the mountains for that very fact.
I would also argue that fat isn't even inherently unhealthy, which seems to be a completely contradiction in terms. Unfortunately, I have neither the time nor space to flesh this out, but here are some fast facts.
* Fat, active people have half the death rate of thin sedentary people, and the same mortality rate as thin active people.
* Fat people who never diet on average have less health problems then those who diet and then (as 95% of them do) gain it back again.
* Weight is not a barometer of wellness. More Americans die every year from weighing too little than from weighing too much. Moderately overweight people live longer than those at normal weight. An even a person who is 175 pounds overweight has their life lessened by 3-4 years, the equivalent of light smoking.
* According to the Body Mass Index - the nearly universally accepted scale that measures "overweightness" - Brad Pitt is overweight, and yet he is socially attractive. Jennifer Aniston, however, would have to gain 55 pounds to be at the same index level as Pitt. Yet the media would have a heydey if she gained 5 pounds much less 55. Something is obviously wrong with this scale.
* For more on this see either www.bigfatfacts.com or search for "The Obesity Myth" in Google Book search.
So maybe the whole fat hysteria the media likes to throw at us should be questioned just as much as you're questioning the author of this note. And maybe the whole fat-stigma that we take for granted (you don't even want to see the polls on what people think about fat people and cleanliness, intelligence, etc.) should be questioned as well. And the idea that anyone who finds fat attractive should be considered crazy...perhaps this is possibly not truth handed down from heaven?
But here are the two main things I'd like to say:
1) If you're a person who finds fat attractive, you're not alone. You have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about. You have no reason to let society dictate where you find beauty. Of course, I don't say any of this to make those who don't find fat attractive feel guilty. Whoever you think is pretty, that's great! All I'm saying is that the criteria for beauty is less strict than you thought. Regardless, if you're unconventional in your attractions, learn to be okay with it. Society is only defined by what people say. If you say something different, than something different can and will happen.
2) If you're a person who finds yourself unattractive for any reason whatsoever, it doesn't have to be that way. God makes all things well, with beauty, handsomeness, and a stamp of His image on their hearts, souls, and bodies. Your curves or scars or blemishes are not sins visited upon you or signs of your worthlessness. Rather they're another proof of the fact that you are indeed human, wonderfully created.
And beautiful.
I go to a Christian college of around 2,000 students, so that's the audience. And it also explains the religious overtones. So please forgive those. Anyway here it is. Comment as you see fit. And yes, I can take criticism.
He Makes All Things Well
So around that age when I realized that girls were attractive - like really, really attractive - I also realized some things about myself. You see, I thought the girls that my peers thought were attractive were indeed attractive. But I also realized that there was a whole other category that those peers of mine never mentioned: the fat girls. And I liked them. They were pretty, cute, attractive, whatever word you want to put in the blank. Fat girls - in my mind at least - could be beautiful just like the rest of them.
It took me no time at all to realize that I was the minority. A minority of one, I thought. Out of my intense curiosity I went to the Internet to find out "what was wrong with me." After a bit of research, though, I realized that I wasn't alone, that there wasn't anything wrong with me after all. There was a whole community of people out there who were either Men (Fat Admirer's or FA's) who thought that fat could be beautiful and Women (Big Beautiful Women or BBW's) who knew that even though they were 5 or 500 pounds overweight, they could be beautiful.
That was years ago and it changed my perspective on a lot of things. But nothing really sank in. I joked about that whole community my freshman year of college.
"Did you know that there's people out there who like fat girls?" I'd ask.
"No!" others would respond, shocked.
"Yes," I would respond. And I would stop there.
I eventually did tell some of my closest friends, but only after much deliberation and not a small share of embarrassment. Now I'm sure you're asking, "Why are you telling us this?" And I suppose it's a fair question. Perhaps I'm like most and just using this as a soapbox, like a lot of other people who write Facebook notes and blog entries. But I don't think I am. That aside, I already have a girlfriend who is nowhere near overweight, so it's not like I need to make an excuse for myself. So what's the point? Why the "confession"?
Well, I realized that I had fallen into a trap of society. Twenty-first century Western society tells us that certain things and people are beautiful and certain things and people are not. We grow up within and surrounded by these ideas and we - for the most part - succumb to them. That's simply what society does: makes its people conform to its image
But then I remembered this lyric by Christian worship leader Chris Tomlin: "He [God] makes all things well." In other words, "God ain't made no junk." Beauty can be found in anyone and anything. The fact that the girl down the street is 50 pounds overweight and is expected to change her size, shape, and appearance because society tells her so isn't an indictment on her, but rather on society. Contrary to popular belief, fat is not inherently evil, ugly, or to be despised. No more than children are inherently cute. Or annoying. Or even that mountains are inherently beautiful. Did you know that during the 1700's in France, mountains were considered ugly and not aesthetically pleasing? A king once built his queen a palace with no windows facing the mountains for that very fact.
I would also argue that fat isn't even inherently unhealthy, which seems to be a completely contradiction in terms. Unfortunately, I have neither the time nor space to flesh this out, but here are some fast facts.
* Fat, active people have half the death rate of thin sedentary people, and the same mortality rate as thin active people.
* Fat people who never diet on average have less health problems then those who diet and then (as 95% of them do) gain it back again.
* Weight is not a barometer of wellness. More Americans die every year from weighing too little than from weighing too much. Moderately overweight people live longer than those at normal weight. An even a person who is 175 pounds overweight has their life lessened by 3-4 years, the equivalent of light smoking.
* According to the Body Mass Index - the nearly universally accepted scale that measures "overweightness" - Brad Pitt is overweight, and yet he is socially attractive. Jennifer Aniston, however, would have to gain 55 pounds to be at the same index level as Pitt. Yet the media would have a heydey if she gained 5 pounds much less 55. Something is obviously wrong with this scale.
* For more on this see either www.bigfatfacts.com or search for "The Obesity Myth" in Google Book search.
So maybe the whole fat hysteria the media likes to throw at us should be questioned just as much as you're questioning the author of this note. And maybe the whole fat-stigma that we take for granted (you don't even want to see the polls on what people think about fat people and cleanliness, intelligence, etc.) should be questioned as well. And the idea that anyone who finds fat attractive should be considered crazy...perhaps this is possibly not truth handed down from heaven?
But here are the two main things I'd like to say:
1) If you're a person who finds fat attractive, you're not alone. You have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about. You have no reason to let society dictate where you find beauty. Of course, I don't say any of this to make those who don't find fat attractive feel guilty. Whoever you think is pretty, that's great! All I'm saying is that the criteria for beauty is less strict than you thought. Regardless, if you're unconventional in your attractions, learn to be okay with it. Society is only defined by what people say. If you say something different, than something different can and will happen.
2) If you're a person who finds yourself unattractive for any reason whatsoever, it doesn't have to be that way. God makes all things well, with beauty, handsomeness, and a stamp of His image on their hearts, souls, and bodies. Your curves or scars or blemishes are not sins visited upon you or signs of your worthlessness. Rather they're another proof of the fact that you are indeed human, wonderfully created.
And beautiful.
