PamelaLois
ILL-INI
OK, so this is kind of a long story, and I need some advice on how to handle it. Here goes.
About two years ago I began chatting with a very nice man online. We had a LOT in common and got on very well online and in phone conversations. We have talked almost every day for the last two years, either online or on the phone. He lives in another state. Every time we tried to make plans to get together, something happened. I got sick, he got sick, I didn't have the money, etc. Well, finally the stars all aligned and we got to meet this week. I really hoped he would be "the one", and he hoped the same thing.
So, suffice it to say, he is NOT the one. While a very very nice guy, he just wasn't the guy I hoped he'd be. He told me he didn't smoke, but come to find out, he's a two pack a day smoker. He had really bad teeth, I don't think he brushed his teeth the entire time he was here, and I had to insist he take a shower. He is 36, yet his mother and father still control all his money. He had to call his parents every day to ask them to put money in his account so he could get gas, food, etc.
If it was just the smoking, that would be bad enough. I cannot cannot abide smoking. It just gags me, repulses me. (Sorry to the smokers, don't mean to be rude, but that's how I feel) The whole hygiene issue really bothered me, lets just say there was NO "sexy time". But the money thing really got to me. I mean seriously, a grown man whose parents control his finances? It was just so horrible that I faked being sick to get him to leave early. So, you would think that would end the issue....
But no, HE now is calling me his "girlfriend" and is wanting to make plans to move here. He is a trucker, and I dread the fact that he might just show up unannounced someday and expect me to welcome him. I was too chicken to tell him when he was here that I was not interested in pursuing anything more, but he kept talking about how he was going to look into moving here and stuff like that and I just nodded and said uh huh, whatever.
The problem is I have very little experience with relationship stuff. I don't know how to go about telling him that I am not interested. He is a really nice guy and I don't want to hurt him. I sure wouldn't tell him that he kinda grosses me out (I was so glad when he left, and I had to air out the house from the smell). I dont' want to be cruel, but I want to be final.
HELP!!!!
About two years ago I began chatting with a very nice man online. We had a LOT in common and got on very well online and in phone conversations. We have talked almost every day for the last two years, either online or on the phone. He lives in another state. Every time we tried to make plans to get together, something happened. I got sick, he got sick, I didn't have the money, etc. Well, finally the stars all aligned and we got to meet this week. I really hoped he would be "the one", and he hoped the same thing.
So, suffice it to say, he is NOT the one. While a very very nice guy, he just wasn't the guy I hoped he'd be. He told me he didn't smoke, but come to find out, he's a two pack a day smoker. He had really bad teeth, I don't think he brushed his teeth the entire time he was here, and I had to insist he take a shower. He is 36, yet his mother and father still control all his money. He had to call his parents every day to ask them to put money in his account so he could get gas, food, etc.
If it was just the smoking, that would be bad enough. I cannot cannot abide smoking. It just gags me, repulses me. (Sorry to the smokers, don't mean to be rude, but that's how I feel) The whole hygiene issue really bothered me, lets just say there was NO "sexy time". But the money thing really got to me. I mean seriously, a grown man whose parents control his finances? It was just so horrible that I faked being sick to get him to leave early. So, you would think that would end the issue....
But no, HE now is calling me his "girlfriend" and is wanting to make plans to move here. He is a trucker, and I dread the fact that he might just show up unannounced someday and expect me to welcome him. I was too chicken to tell him when he was here that I was not interested in pursuing anything more, but he kept talking about how he was going to look into moving here and stuff like that and I just nodded and said uh huh, whatever.
The problem is I have very little experience with relationship stuff. I don't know how to go about telling him that I am not interested. He is a really nice guy and I don't want to hurt him. I sure wouldn't tell him that he kinda grosses me out (I was so glad when he left, and I had to air out the house from the smell). I dont' want to be cruel, but I want to be final.
HELP!!!!
