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Interesting thing happened

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Apr 25, 2010
[Trigger warning for fat shame]

I went to visit my mom out of town, and so I took a week off work to visit her. The day I arrived happened to be on my birthday (the 5th), and my mom of course got me a cake, a lovely chocolate/vanilla swirled cake with whipped cream topping.

I went into the kitchen to get the ice cream to accompany my piece of cake. As I was walking through the house with my cake and ice cream on a plate, a middle aged neighbor friend of my mom's boyfriend who I had just met that day stopped me in my tracks. He said, "Do you know what all that is going to do to your body?" I looked at him cynically and raised my eye brow. Then he asks, "Do you know what 'secretary's ass' is?" I said, "What?" and he says "It's when you sit on your butt and eat junk food and then you your butt and thighs widen and spill over the seat when you sit down." Then he asked me to demonstrate by asking me to sit down. I sit down and he goes, "You might not have that now but wait a few years of eating crap like what you have on your plate now and you will"

I paused with a shocked and appalled look of amusement on my face, "So you think the most important thing that happens to women who eat junk food is that their asses will get big? Oh nevermind my arteries, if my ass gets big, then I might as well die, is that what you are saying?" He said, "No, no, but you are right, the only thing with nutritional value that you are about to slam down right now is the dairy in the ice cream." Mind you, he says all this while puffing a cigarette.

Then I said, "Ok for one, it's my birthday and that's what people do on their birthday, eat cake and ice cream. And I don't need a health lecture from someone with a cigarette in their hand." He said, "I've been smoking all my life and my health is fine, but nevermind that, this is about you." To which I said, "Well I have been eating junk food all my life and I am still healthy and without getting fat or getting this "secretary's ass" or whatever you call it." I continued to say, "Even if I did get huge from this, I would be just fine with that and I would enjoy every piece of cake along the way. But either way, health is more important than body size." Then I walked away before things got even more heated.

I know many of you are probably used to this kind of treatment but it's just so weird to me, and I got body shamed for eating my own birthday cake. And I got a feeling that this dude was kinda just trying to give me a hard time jokingly and just to see how I would react, but he was kinda being serious too. But I think he got the hint because I wasn't hesitating to be snarky back to him.

How would you guys have reacted to that?

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