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Love and Food

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Dromond

Pleasantly abstruse.
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
7,475
Location
East Central Illinois, USA
I'm Sicilian, and food equals love in Sicilian culture. In a way, Sicilians are a culture of feeders, as it's the duty of the Sicilian wife to fatten up her husband. If her husband doesn't gain weight, older wives will accuse her of not being a good wife because she doesn't feed him right. Sicilian women tend to gain, as the men love their women big. A Sicilian woman gains to feel more attractive and to be more alluring to her husband. Also, social gatherings are feasts. There is always food when Sicilians get together. It's just how things are done. There is truth to the stereotype of Sicilian Mafia always doing business in restaurants. Business is also discussed over a meal. Everything revolves around food. Everything.

As you can tell, the questions I'm about to present are not new to me.

First, does food equal love? It may be my cultural background talking, but I think the answer is yes - to a point. Cooking for your husband/wife/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever is an act of love in my opinion. Bringing them a treat as a surprise is definitely a show of love and/or affection to me.

I said "to a point" above, which leads me to the next and much more complex issue. When does food stop being love and turn into abuse?

Is it love to encourage a person to eat without restraint, or is it abuse?

Is it love to encourage restraint in types of food and portion size, or is it abuse?

When you love and care about someone, my feeling is you want them to be happy and healthy, and live a long life. You're not a happy person if you're dieting (diets are torture in my opinion), but on the flip side, how happy can you honestly be if you are an uncontrolled eater? When a person is extremely overweight (I'm not going to put a number on this one because it's different for everyone), how happy is he or she truly? I can't imagine being happy when every breath is an effort and you just can't move around much. Is it love or abuse?

Can you, and should you, step up and say "enough is enough" when one of you thinks the other is going too far?
 

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