Please excuse me for selfishly using the forums as a place to possibly better my understanding of my own mind, and feel well... not so alone at times.
I have, I think at least, isolated the issue that has at most affected my relationships. I am an avid FA, and I thoroughly enjoy indulgences... I've never been a person who personally enjoys having to say NO to something I'd enjoy, nor do I enjoy my friends/loved ones saying NO (ex. if I want to go to a casino and my best buddy can't afford it, I'll flip the bill).
I've noticed over my passed few relationships that I am not so much into helping a girl gain weight (not that I have anything against it) as I am simply attracted to a person who does not "have to say no" who is not upset if she misses her gym appointment, who is not worried about being upset if she has not lost a pound when she gets weighed in at weight watchers, who does not count calories, limit herself to a 100 calorie snack pack, nor refuse her favorite dessert when she really wants. I understand people have to be happy with themselves and feel as healthy as they'd like but just am not into self-deprivation.
Does anyone understand this? I find it very ironic that I have met women who claim to not be concerned with what others think, but then only want to lose weight to satisfy some social need... In other words, if I know a girl absolutely loves food, does not enjoy working out extensively, and away from societies eye is happy with her body it becomes extremely unattractive to me when she attempts to conform to something she doesn't really believe in.
Does anyone have an opinion on what I've said, or similar feelings? I appreciate any help or opinions I can get. Does anyone think this sounds foolish? Does anyone think there is a realm of attraction that is not dependent on a woman (or men if you want to reverse the subjects here) gaining, but simply not depriving herself of things she may enjoy?
I have, I think at least, isolated the issue that has at most affected my relationships. I am an avid FA, and I thoroughly enjoy indulgences... I've never been a person who personally enjoys having to say NO to something I'd enjoy, nor do I enjoy my friends/loved ones saying NO (ex. if I want to go to a casino and my best buddy can't afford it, I'll flip the bill).
I've noticed over my passed few relationships that I am not so much into helping a girl gain weight (not that I have anything against it) as I am simply attracted to a person who does not "have to say no" who is not upset if she misses her gym appointment, who is not worried about being upset if she has not lost a pound when she gets weighed in at weight watchers, who does not count calories, limit herself to a 100 calorie snack pack, nor refuse her favorite dessert when she really wants. I understand people have to be happy with themselves and feel as healthy as they'd like but just am not into self-deprivation.
Does anyone understand this? I find it very ironic that I have met women who claim to not be concerned with what others think, but then only want to lose weight to satisfy some social need... In other words, if I know a girl absolutely loves food, does not enjoy working out extensively, and away from societies eye is happy with her body it becomes extremely unattractive to me when she attempts to conform to something she doesn't really believe in.
Does anyone have an opinion on what I've said, or similar feelings? I appreciate any help or opinions I can get. Does anyone think this sounds foolish? Does anyone think there is a realm of attraction that is not dependent on a woman (or men if you want to reverse the subjects here) gaining, but simply not depriving herself of things she may enjoy?
