GoldenDelicious
It's the naughty step 4U!
I have debated with myself whether or not to post this as it is still a difficult time of year for me. I am trying to make new associations with this time of year and so I am trying to turn my Halloween Sadness into a more happy time of year and create future happy memories and associations with this day.
On the 31st of October 2006 my mother died from secondary liver cancer (initially colon cancer). She died at age 54, the day after her wedding anniversary to my father. They had been happily married for 36 years.
During the last months of my mothers life I had went absent from work and moved into my mum and dads house to care for my mum, I slept beside her in an inflatable bed and was by her side every minute of the day & night. My mum and I were very close and spent a lot of time together any way however this time I would not leave her side and took care of her every need along with my dad.
I have been in a state of grief since and still have days when I feel very deeply affected by that whole time as well as my mothers death and her absence from my life. There is so much more I could say about that time and about my wonderful mother but this thread is not about my loss or about making people depressed so maybe some other time.
Every year at this time I think about what I would have been doing in the months, weeks, days leading up to my mothers death and it can be all consuming.
This year I need to make a change and so I have decided, along with my lovely girlfriend Mergirl to host a Halloween party for my friend Jacquelines son Michael age 6 years. He has invited 13 school friends and an additional few family members. So this year my house will be filled with children dressed as goblins high on sugar, yippeee! I have decorations to hang and pumpkins for mer to carve while I get on with the serious job of making sweets and treats. Maybe next year I will look back and remember the fun and the children and fondly of my mum instead of with sadness.
Thanks for taking the time to read this post, I know it's lengthy and if you have been affected by loss I wish you the strength to get through it.
GD xx
On the 31st of October 2006 my mother died from secondary liver cancer (initially colon cancer). She died at age 54, the day after her wedding anniversary to my father. They had been happily married for 36 years.
During the last months of my mothers life I had went absent from work and moved into my mum and dads house to care for my mum, I slept beside her in an inflatable bed and was by her side every minute of the day & night. My mum and I were very close and spent a lot of time together any way however this time I would not leave her side and took care of her every need along with my dad.
I have been in a state of grief since and still have days when I feel very deeply affected by that whole time as well as my mothers death and her absence from my life. There is so much more I could say about that time and about my wonderful mother but this thread is not about my loss or about making people depressed so maybe some other time.
Every year at this time I think about what I would have been doing in the months, weeks, days leading up to my mothers death and it can be all consuming.
This year I need to make a change and so I have decided, along with my lovely girlfriend Mergirl to host a Halloween party for my friend Jacquelines son Michael age 6 years. He has invited 13 school friends and an additional few family members. So this year my house will be filled with children dressed as goblins high on sugar, yippeee! I have decorations to hang and pumpkins for mer to carve while I get on with the serious job of making sweets and treats. Maybe next year I will look back and remember the fun and the children and fondly of my mum instead of with sadness.
Thanks for taking the time to read this post, I know it's lengthy and if you have been affected by loss I wish you the strength to get through it.
GD xx
