magnoliagrows
Well-Known Member
Hi everyone. It's amazing how scary this is. I'm new to Dimensions. I've been watching a close friend of mine interact with this group at different levels for a few years now. He has been encouraging me to make contact but I've been reluctant. I suppose the reason is because I'm not sure I belong. I know from reading other posts that I'm not the only one who starts with that statement. 
But I have my reasons. I'm not sure I'm really what can be considered a BBW. I'm about 5'4" and around 200 lbs., still a size 16 in some places, size 18 in others. I'm going to trust that I can find a place here because I haven't yet read a post that tells someone to get out.
I'm with an FA. I love him and I love the way he loves me. But its hard for him because I struggle to love myself. I've come a long way in the years we've been together. I believe myself to be beautiful and I believe that its possible that there are other men out there that might also. But this posting is a big step for me - the point where I'm "coming out" as a BBW. Which might sound silly since being big means everyone notices you because you bump into them on accident, take up more space on the bus seat then you should, bump the table when you squeeze into a tight booth (causing the water to spill on the table in the process.) But maybe I'm "coming out" to myself? Honestly, I'm wasn't sure this was a community I wanted to be a part of for a long time. Asking to be a part of this community is synonymous with letting go of the "being skinny" dream for good. This post is really my first step, I guess, toward making a home in my own body.
I don't think I can do this by myself. And my FA has his own desires and hopes that can sometimes make it difficult to sort through mine. I hope this can be a place for me to sort.
But I have my reasons. I'm not sure I'm really what can be considered a BBW. I'm about 5'4" and around 200 lbs., still a size 16 in some places, size 18 in others. I'm going to trust that I can find a place here because I haven't yet read a post that tells someone to get out. I'm with an FA. I love him and I love the way he loves me. But its hard for him because I struggle to love myself. I've come a long way in the years we've been together. I believe myself to be beautiful and I believe that its possible that there are other men out there that might also. But this posting is a big step for me - the point where I'm "coming out" as a BBW. Which might sound silly since being big means everyone notices you because you bump into them on accident, take up more space on the bus seat then you should, bump the table when you squeeze into a tight booth (causing the water to spill on the table in the process.) But maybe I'm "coming out" to myself? Honestly, I'm wasn't sure this was a community I wanted to be a part of for a long time. Asking to be a part of this community is synonymous with letting go of the "being skinny" dream for good. This post is really my first step, I guess, toward making a home in my own body.
I don't think I can do this by myself. And my FA has his own desires and hopes that can sometimes make it difficult to sort through mine. I hope this can be a place for me to sort.
