question for BHM's

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blubberismanly

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I saw there was a thread someplace about how to spot an FA...well, I'm athletic looking for a fat guy to feed and caress. I am the FA on the prowl.

My question is this: I find a super hot super huge guy I want to talk to, but he isn't interested. How do I spot a fat guy looking for an FA? I've been caught checking out plenty of guys but some seem offended by my admiration. Sometimes I think they just don't understand, or expect a tiny chick to be into big guys. Is there a way I can tell a heavy guy he's hot in public without making him feel bad or embarrassed?
 

theronin23

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I think this is one of those touchy subjects for a lot of BHMs who are still in denial that anyone can find them attractive. I was once the same way. Luckily, I'm no longeri n that category, but having been there, lemme see if I can give you a bit of advice.

I think the best thing to do is not BEGIN with the "You're fat, I think fat guys are hot, therefore, I think you're hot" approach. It's kind of like running full bore into a flock of birds...they'll scatter. I hate to advocate ANY kind of mind games, but they're kind of necessary in this instance. Just do some flirting and be interested in the guy, normal stuff, but drop little (and I mean little) hints as to your preferences. Maybe steer the conversation to celebrities you two find attractive and drop hints that way by naming bigger guys. Just some thoughts.
 

hbighappy

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well when I have been approached by FFA they just come up talk and i just joke talk ya know socialize with them then take it from there if you show genuine interest they will know example i was at club this was like 4 years ago and i was posted up by the dance floor drinking my little beer lol it was a pitcher i just pitcher chug well used to back then any ways this little 5feet 2 inc 110 lb fine dark haired chick came up grabbed my ass and I was like woooo wtf she messing with me any ways some time past and in the patio boom again she went straight for my booty i was like she messing with me bad finely it took here a 3ed try for me realize she was in to me not just playing with me she came up to me put her hand on my shoulder /neck and slid her hand soft and slow down my arm chest and belly and then im like ding ding ding we have winner and the rest is history morale of story some time we just don't get it or believe it hehehe but most the time I can just tell if women in to me by her Eyes smile and stare I get a long smile slash grin that last longer then most looks when i pick that up im like ok theirs a good chance she in to me its not always rite but id say 80% time so body language all about body language and don't forget some fat boys shy and green around women they not all Phat Boi like me :cool:~ hope that helps
 

Actor4hire

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I think you have to do it the same way you would with any other guy. Just go up and start talking to him or ask for his number. As I have read more and more posts by some of the BHM on the board, I can't understand how anybody would be scared by somebody who found their body (in this case fat body) sexy. I say just go for it!! The big guy who is confident in his size and self will be cool with it. (If he is attracted to you that is.) Good luck!
 

Wanderer

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I think you have to do it the same way you would with any other guy. Just go up and start talking to him or ask for his number. As I have read more and more posts by some of the BHM on the board, I can't understand how anybody would be scared by somebody who found their body (in this case fat body) sexy. I say just go for it!! The big guy who is confident in his size and self will be cool with it. (If he is attracted to you that is.) Good luck!

Heh... well, as Garfield once put it, "People don't want nice... they want consistency". When you're used to women ignoring you, suddenly having a woman come up and make advances can be startling in a "something is NOT right here" sort of way.

The best metaphor I have is this:

Wolves hunt rabbits, and rabbits run from wolves. This is what wolves are used to. If the rabbit then turns around and charges straight at the wolf, the wolf is going to stop; he may even turn around. Not because he suddenly doesn't want a rabbit, but because Rabbits Don't Act Like This. Therefore, if:

A. Rabbits don't act like this, and

B. This is not acting like a rabbit, then:

C. Something is very badly wrong with this rabbit.

That's why it's important to give a guy a chance to get to know you; you've got to overcome the lesson that "Women Don't Act Like This", and the only way to do it is to teach him "Oh, Yes They Do".
 

escapist

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Heh... well, as Garfield once put it, "People don't want nice... they want consistency". When you're used to women ignoring you, suddenly having a woman come up and make advances can be startling in a "something is NOT right here" sort of way.

The best metaphor I have is this:

Wolves hunt rabbits, and rabbits run from wolves. This is what wolves are used to. If the rabbit then turns around and charges straight at the wolf, the wolf is going to stop; he may even turn around. Not because he suddenly doesn't want a rabbit, but because Rabbits Don't Act Like This. Therefore, if:

A. Rabbits don't act like this, and

B. This is not acting like a rabbit, then:

C. Something is very badly wrong with this rabbit.

That's why it's important to give a guy a chance to get to know you; you've got to overcome the lesson that "Women Don't Act Like This", and the only way to do it is to teach him "Oh, Yes They Do".

EXCELLENT POINTERS!

I for one remember clearly going though all those thoughts before I could truly grasp what was going on. I could only work under the, "I just like tall/big guys". Took sometime to truly grasp that my fat could be as SERIOUSLY ATTRACTIVE as it is to some. I had been told I had a nice smile, great eyes, or a cute face so many times I had a hard time understanding it could be more than that. Soooo.....yeah go with what he said! Get him used to the fact women do act like that.
 

taobear

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I think you have to do it the same way you would with any other guy. Just go up and start talking to him or ask for his number. As I have read more and more posts by some of the BHM on the board, I can't understand how anybody would be scared by somebody who found their body (in this case fat body) sexy. I say just go for it!! The big guy who is confident in his size and self will be cool with it. (If he is attracted to you that is.) Good luck!

Dude some women find it fun to mess with guys. And I will admit to being a fool for this and being used. The thing for me is if a woman did come up to me I would immediately think she was after something other than my body. I have rarely been touched with kindness or desire if ever. If I make a move it is usually treated with distaste, disdain or outright hostility.
 

rellis10

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I saw there was a thread someplace about how to spot an FA...well, I'm athletic looking for a fat guy to feed and caress. I am the FA on the prowl.

My question is this: I find a super hot super huge guy I want to talk to, but he isn't interested. How do I spot a fat guy looking for an FA? I've been caught checking out plenty of guys but some seem offended by my admiration. Sometimes I think they just don't understand, or expect a tiny chick to be into big guys. Is there a way I can tell a heavy guy he's hot in public without making him feel bad or embarrassed?

I cant answer for everyone, but i know if you came up to me in public and said you liked me, yes i'd be embarrassed, but i'd also be incredible flattered. I'm not exactly speaking from experience since i'v never been approached by an FFA but i would love to be approached
 

Actor4hire

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Dude some women find it fun to mess with guys. And I will admit to being a fool for this and being used. The thing for me is if a woman did come up to me I would immediately think she was after something other than my body. I have rarely been touched with kindness or desire if ever. If I make a move it is usually treated with distaste, disdain or outright hostility.

Sorry to hear of all of your bad experiences.
 

blubberismanly

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Wow, thank you guys.

I remember once I was at the house of blues and this super hot mexican guy was at the bar...I kept checking him out., maybe too obviously, and he eventually moved to the other side of the bar our of my sight.

Another time, I was talking to a guy and in conversation I just threw out that I thought he was cute. He seemed startled but didn't say anything. He ended up not giving me his number.


It's a shame so many really really sexy guys don't know how sexy they are. I wish there was some other way to tell them without coming off as creepy. They aren't all desperate but some must want to be, what with how they blow off a chick like me.

I'll try what you guys mentioned, emphasis on subtlety. I have to admit I'm a bit skeptical, though. I wonder sometimes if bigger guys really are into bigger girls (I mean the unassuming ones I hit one). Some are simply not interested in conversation with me...at all. And I have big boobs! Sorry, guys. I'm just frustrated at how hard headed and ignorant some guys are of fat lovers like me.
 

growingman

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Honestly I think everyone is an individual. Some will be suspicious, some afraid, some flattered, and some will see an opportunity. Yes the former will be more common. The approach I would consider taking is to just start talking to guys you are interested as often as you can. It is really just a matter of time till you find one that expresses more interest than the others. If he does and you are able to find some things in common, offer to get together for another meeting (coffee, lunch, etc) would be a good idea. Just my thoughts...

And while you are at it send a clone up to Northern California. We need more assertive FFA up here ;)
 

extra_fat_guy

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I am like a lot of the guys here. I would wonder if she was being honest, or was playing a cruel joke. But I would also see what happens. I believe for the most part people are good, and not everybody is out to be mean or hurt people. Maybe I am wrong, but not knowing is worse than being laughed at to me. I agree with everybody else just take it slow, and give the guy a lot of signs that you truely like his size.
 

growingman

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I wish I had a clone of some of you guys here. It would be nice to have a more accepting guy to hit on...and eventually maybe play with his rolls. :5

OK, now you have me dreaming of all of the nice things I am missing... lol

At the risk of getting flamed I have to say I am attracted to petite or average women and not really into the heavier ones, but that is just my preference just like some guys prefer blonds or red heads. I am sure there are plenty of bigger guys like me out there.

There are a lot of pretty cruel and ruthless women out there. ( I am sure men too but I don't really need to deal with them). If you just be gentle with them and be a bit patient, I am sure you will find as many as you can handle.
 

escapist

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I wish I had a clone of some of you guys here. It would be nice to have a more accepting guy to hit on...and eventually maybe play with his rolls. :5

Ok, that one took me some time to warm up to personally, but yeah I'm pretty cool with it now.....I'm pretty much a giant 500 lb cuddle-slut now. Pet me, huge me, squeeze me!
 

rabbitislove

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I saw there was a thread someplace about how to spot an FA...well, I'm athletic looking for a fat guy to feed and caress. I am the FA on the prowl.

My question is this: I find a super hot super huge guy I want to talk to, but he isn't interested. How do I spot a fat guy looking for an FA? I've been caught checking out plenty of guys but some seem offended by my admiration. Sometimes I think they just don't understand, or expect a tiny chick to be into big guys. Is there a way I can tell a heavy guy he's hot in public without making him feel bad or embarrassed?

Once I figure that out, Ill be the first to let you know.
 

blubberismanly

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There are a lot of pretty cruel and ruthless women out there.

Sure there are, and I've had my moments. When guys piss me off on bars or clubs...yeah, I've been there. At one point I was dating a DJ at a club I went to.

I try not to be like that, though. Especially with big guys. Yes, some are assholes, and some are gay. But it seriously sucks when they think my adoration is some form of insult. That's what I have to be careful of. They just assume hot chick plus fat guy equals no go. It's hatd to get past that wall they build.
 

Stevenz1inoc

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Sure there are, and I've had my moments. When guys piss me off on bars or clubs...yeah, I've been there. At one point I was dating a DJ at a club I went to.

I try not to be like that, though. Especially with big guys. Yes, some are assholes, and some are gay. But it seriously sucks when they think my adoration is some form of insult. That's what I have to be careful of. They just assume hot chick plus fat guy equals no go. It's hatd to get past that wall they build.

Back in school I use to get picked on by some of the hot girls in my class. They would act interested then laugh at me or make fun of me when I would respond to their interest which was all faked for their fun. It took me a long time to get over that kind of teasing. If a guy picked on me it was no biggie, I could pick back or just get into a fight, but with girls it did hurt.

I know you're interest in big guys is genuine or you wouldnt be here but maybe some of those guys are still worried that you could just be teasing them and not serious. They could just be putting up a barrier.

It's sad but it does happen. But hey, I'm past it, if you ever want to hit on me I'll respond with a smile! ;)
 

charlieversion2

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If they are unaware of people (like the ones that visit this board) exist. I think naturally he would question the genuineness of her approach. BUT... if they knew of the FAism Community, then I would say your chances are better at a warmer reception.

Short of having a pamphlet and a short speech to educate your target, slow and easy does it, like getting into a REALLLY cold pool.
 

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