Over the past year or so, I've learned so much from the Dimensions community. In the beginning, I was ashamed of my feeling towards big women, namely, that they too could be beautiful; now, I went so far as to post a public note to my college about my thoughts on the matter. I used to be afraid of fat and its evils; now I understand the media and cultural taint on facts that the majority of people will never hear. Heck, I've simply become more educated on the thoughts of women, ideas on sexuality, and the world in general.
But last night I had to do some hard thinking and thus came to some equally hard conclusions. For all the good Dimensions does - the truth-telling, the esteem-boosting, the community-building - for all the good it does, it can be downright poisonous as well. Perhaps the example I feel most passionate about is the devaluing of women. It's kind of a paradox, actually. Women, scared to death of the weight, size, and shape, meekly and humbly post pictures to dozen of threads (Belly Hang, Sexiest Pics Naked, Sexiest Pics Clothed, Skinniest and Fatties, Show Your Face, Most Recent Pic, etc...). To their incredible surprise they are loved, admired, almost famed.
But at what cost?
The fact is, these women are still - believe it or not - women. Though they deserve better than what society offers them, I think they deserve better than what we here at Dimensions offer them as well, i.e. men (and women) oggling, gazing, staring, masturbating, lusting over their naked or half-naked (or clothed!) bodies. If women truly have the inherent, intrinsic worth and beauty that this website implies - if not explicitly states - then don't you think that it should be shown by not supporting them showing off their bodies for the world to see?
Now some of you may balk at this and call me an old Christian fundamentalist fuddle-duddy. You claim that because of their worth they deserve the right or ability to post their pictures to be oggled at. But if you really want to talk about worth, the more common they become, the more views their post has, the less worth they seem to have. Each view of the picture implies, "I'm not that unique or special. Therefore not just one person gets to see me like this but everyone!" Isn't that the opposite of what we want?
And the simple fact is lust that brings about self-esteem is still lust.
The second hard realization I came to about all of this is that I have fallen into the same trap. I too have come here looking for pictures of gorgeous women, seeing things that I would never see anywhere else. I too have fallen pray into making these girls into mere pixels instead of human beings. And thus my penis rises and falls due to the ascribed beauty I place on them, most of the time forgetting that these pixels do in fact represent people and - probably worse - forgetting that my fiance would be crushed if she knew what I was doing at this site.
Again, one more poison. Though I can truly only blame myself, I have to wonder about the general perception growing in society about porn (or whatever it is you look at to get yourself riled up). It's appalling that I am here despite my having a fiance. But in society, there's almost this pat-on-the-back kind of attitude that says, "We all do it; we understand." But lust is still lust! And my fiance doesn't just understand. Each visit to the paysite board would be one more whisper in her ear, "You aren't pretty enough."
Is this my "I'm Leaving" post? I doubt it; I'm sure I'll be getting comments and PM's aplenty. Heck, maybe I'll get banned for fighting status quo (what this site does so well). But I tell you what: this definitely is my "I'm Changing" post.
May God help me never to look at you beautiful women the same way ever again. You are beautiful and thus deserve enough respect from me to not look your way with wide-open eyes, but leave that to your boyfriends or husbands. I write this because you women are incredible and deserve to be loved - but not by hundreds of lustful eyes...simply two loving ones.
But last night I had to do some hard thinking and thus came to some equally hard conclusions. For all the good Dimensions does - the truth-telling, the esteem-boosting, the community-building - for all the good it does, it can be downright poisonous as well. Perhaps the example I feel most passionate about is the devaluing of women. It's kind of a paradox, actually. Women, scared to death of the weight, size, and shape, meekly and humbly post pictures to dozen of threads (Belly Hang, Sexiest Pics Naked, Sexiest Pics Clothed, Skinniest and Fatties, Show Your Face, Most Recent Pic, etc...). To their incredible surprise they are loved, admired, almost famed.
But at what cost?
The fact is, these women are still - believe it or not - women. Though they deserve better than what society offers them, I think they deserve better than what we here at Dimensions offer them as well, i.e. men (and women) oggling, gazing, staring, masturbating, lusting over their naked or half-naked (or clothed!) bodies. If women truly have the inherent, intrinsic worth and beauty that this website implies - if not explicitly states - then don't you think that it should be shown by not supporting them showing off their bodies for the world to see?
Now some of you may balk at this and call me an old Christian fundamentalist fuddle-duddy. You claim that because of their worth they deserve the right or ability to post their pictures to be oggled at. But if you really want to talk about worth, the more common they become, the more views their post has, the less worth they seem to have. Each view of the picture implies, "I'm not that unique or special. Therefore not just one person gets to see me like this but everyone!" Isn't that the opposite of what we want?
And the simple fact is lust that brings about self-esteem is still lust.
The second hard realization I came to about all of this is that I have fallen into the same trap. I too have come here looking for pictures of gorgeous women, seeing things that I would never see anywhere else. I too have fallen pray into making these girls into mere pixels instead of human beings. And thus my penis rises and falls due to the ascribed beauty I place on them, most of the time forgetting that these pixels do in fact represent people and - probably worse - forgetting that my fiance would be crushed if she knew what I was doing at this site.
Again, one more poison. Though I can truly only blame myself, I have to wonder about the general perception growing in society about porn (or whatever it is you look at to get yourself riled up). It's appalling that I am here despite my having a fiance. But in society, there's almost this pat-on-the-back kind of attitude that says, "We all do it; we understand." But lust is still lust! And my fiance doesn't just understand. Each visit to the paysite board would be one more whisper in her ear, "You aren't pretty enough."
Is this my "I'm Leaving" post? I doubt it; I'm sure I'll be getting comments and PM's aplenty. Heck, maybe I'll get banned for fighting status quo (what this site does so well). But I tell you what: this definitely is my "I'm Changing" post.
May God help me never to look at you beautiful women the same way ever again. You are beautiful and thus deserve enough respect from me to not look your way with wide-open eyes, but leave that to your boyfriends or husbands. I write this because you women are incredible and deserve to be loved - but not by hundreds of lustful eyes...simply two loving ones.
