I'm in love with my friend...madly, deeply, crazy in love. He's the first person I think of in the morning and the last I think of before I go to sleep at night. At one point in time when we first met each other, we were a bit more than friends, but it didn't last long and just faded away without words ever being spoken. And since that time, he has dated girls here and there and it usually ends up in some sort of arguement between us because I get hurt and cry and say mean things to him. It usually involves me telling him at some point that I can't be his friend any longer...that it is too hard for me, etc. His response is usually "please don't do this", "you don't mean that", "you're my favorite person", "you're my best friend", etc. This usually means that I will be strong enought to not to speak him for a total of 24 hours only to apologize for my breakdown and continue the cycle once again. So...I have a difficult time with the friendship but I have a harder time letting go. I am devestated when he is not around and a part of my life. Needless to say, about a week and a half ago, he got a new girlfriend. He didn't tell me but I found out and asked about it. He said he didn't know how to tell me....and the cycle started again. I cried and cried and cried and in the end we all ended up right where we left off. We are friends and he has a girlfriend. There was a slight twist this time though...his new girlfriend thought it would be a wonderful idea to send me a "friend" request on Myspace. So, what was I supposed to do with that? If I denied her, I would look like the cold bitch that refuses friendship brought upon me. If I accept her, then there she is...looking at my page...reading my thoughts, etc. Well, I accepted her, but the whole thing is just tearing me up inside...I almost feel like she is rubbing it in my face..."he chose me!". I just want to scream!!! I just keep thinking that while he may have chosen you for now...I have witnessed him choose 6 or 7 girls in the 15 months I have known him and yet....I am still here. One day, you will be gone like the rest and I will still be here....I will still be here on the outside looking in and waiting for him to choose the next girl 
