BHM, Dining, WG: A tale of magical gain . . . You’re Home By Buffet Buster Bill Part One ”Hello, no one is available to take your call. Please leave!” ”Yes?” said Frank quickly as he hit the TALK button, interrupting the robotic voice. Maybe, he thought, this was it. ”Good afternoon, this is Diana with the You’re Home store in the outlet mall. I was wondering if you could come over and have an interview with me this afternoon. Is one o’clock ok?” Frank had started his search at the ’A list’ jobs after being let go from his job in accounts receivable. They were mostly high paying dream jobs he thought he might have a shot at. When those jobs didn’t pan out, he went to the ’B list’. Those were the middle ground jobs that he had experience in. To no avail, those didn’t come knocking either, so he went where all good job seekers go when everything is exhausted. Retail. He went to You’re Home on a whim because he was hungry and he liked the samples they always gave out. ”Sure, that’s fine. It’s twelve right now. Is it ok if I just wear business casual?” ”That’s fine, sir. You’ll find that we’re pretty laid back here at You’re Home,” said the sultry voiced woman over the phone. Frank arrived at 12:45 and walked the store to get the feel of the place before the interview. He wanted to give it a close inspection to see if this was truly the place he’d be working for the next few months until a ’real job’ came along. The store was decorated all in wood. It reminded him of one of those old general stores from the past. Everywhere you looked, there was some kind of gift food wrapped in decorative fashion. Gummy candy in every shape and form, licorice candy in every color of the rainbow, tortilla chips, exotic dips, truffles, and brownies. There were cookbooks, cutlery, serving trays, decorative food storage bins, you name it. Then on the far wall were the high end refrigerated food gifts. Cheese cakes, Virginia ham, salmon, private label soft drinks you wouldn’t find in any grocery store, lady fingers, 5 and 10 lb boxes of assorted chocolates, and anything else that couldn’t take being set out too long. A young, plump girl of about 18 strolled up to Frank. ”Welcome to You’re Home.” She then asked, with a slight southern drawl, if he’d like a sample of their new raspberry chocolate cheesecake truffle. He said that he was there to see Diana for an interview, but that he’d hit her up on the way out. ”Ok, but make sure you do, or I’ll have to hunt you down and force feed you my entire platter for being a bad boy,” she said with a wink, ”I’ll get Diana. Now don’t you move.” Diana came out of the back office. Frank almost had to grab a display, he was so taken back by her beauty. Her green eyes pulled him in from across the room. She stood about 5’6 and had to weigh, what Frank guessed, about 200 pounds or more. Her apron could barely hide her curves. It hugged her tummy ever so slightly. Her breasts were spilling out from behind it as were her hips. Her long, brown curly hair cascaded over her shoulders. Frank had always wondered what people meant, but here in front of him was the embodiment of the word breathtaking. Frank checked himself and said a silent prayer thanking God he was single. ”Hello,” she said with a warmth in her voice that reminded Frank of being back home in the mid west where people actually meant what they said, ”I’m Diana and welcome to You’re Home.” Her eyes gave a quick scan of Frank’s body. A warm smile eased its way across her face. ”You must be Frank. Come on back and we’ll sit and chat and see if this is the place for you.” She turned around and glided like Stevie Nicks into the back room. Frank had never seen a heavy woman move so effortlessly but Diana had pulled it off. ”Ok.” That was all Frank had the strength to muster up for a reply. ”Damn,” he thought, ”Pull yourself together. Don’t let your little head do the thinking for the big one.” Frank stepped into the tiny narrow back room. It was all he could do to not knock anything over. Diana had already seated herself in an overstuffed red velvet high backed chair that made Frank wonder how it had ever gotten there. The room must have been built around the thing. Diana invited him to sit in a metal folding chair and he obliged. It creaked when he sat down. Seeing his embarrassment, Diana apologized and said that she really must go and buy another one, but there was hardly ever time enough to go to the Mega Mart. Diana took off her apron and her wonderful tummy and chest spilled out, finally somewhat free enough to press itself against her tight blouse. The interview went well; Diana asked Frank several questions about customer service and up selling the product all while munching on a box of the truffles the young girl had mentioned. Frank came back with what he thought were the right answers. They must have been because Diana smiled and nodded her head with every answer Frank gave. It was a slightly difficult interview because it took Frank all he had to look into her eyes and not drift down to her chest or luscious tummy or round bottom that was being squeezed lovingly by her chair. ”Well, as you can see, I’m in kind of a bind. It’s just me and Cindy my assistant manager, the girl you met, who are running the store. We kind of lost a couple of people last week and we really just need a warm body to help out with ringing up customers and stocking the store and possibly even being someone who might open or close the store if need be. It’s busy work, but it has it’s benefits. Generous discounts, health insurance that starts immediately, vacations, and some others we’ll go into after you’re hired. Sound OK?” Since Frank was running out of food at home and the rent was due soon along with some pesky credit cards that had started calling his house at 3am because they were on another time zone, he agreed. He would start as soon as possible. Diana asked if now was too soon. He said that he would be more than happy to start immediately.