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The Scale of Things...

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Sep 29, 2005
I was a very thin Child, a chubby Teen, and have since then, I have been a fat adult. Since my early Teenage years, I have always been self consious about my size. No matter what I weighed, I allowed myself to be judged.
Although I was not a so-called "Follower", I was segregated from my peers for not being their size. Falling into a deep depression in my early 20's after facing my (Childhood Sexual Abuse) I finally emerged with the actual freedom to find self acceptance. (In 1995 I went to my first BBW dance in NYC, and there I purchased my first wonderful Dimensions Magazine.)

Size is relevant to everyone. It's a personal matter. When I was a Teen in school, a young girl turned around and declared that one of my thighs was equal to her two combined. It floored me just to hear it, for I was just in my Chubby stage then... but to my peers I was so different to them.

When I was in my 20's, I took my girl friend who had recently lost a lot of weight. (she at one time weighed over 300lbs and was down to 150lbs.)
She agreed to go to a BBW dance to spend time with me, and because she still felt like a big girl. She didn't tell me until our drive home that she was approached in the bathroom by a bunch of girls who wanted to know why she was there because certainly she wasn't FAT, and was it to steal their men. I couldn't believe it! How could she have been judged so cruely?

BBW. You know, even the sound of it gave me acceptance and the meaning of it doubled my self confidence. Big Beautiful Woman. I don't care what size you are, if you're small... (whatever that means) to if you're big... (whatever that means). You have to be content with who you are. If you live in a body you're unhappy with, you're wasting years of happiness.

So, on the scale of things... right now I'm in a danger zone as far as my health is concerned. I'm young, single... and my health is failing so I'm exploring my options. I may have surgery.

No matter what my decision, I'll always be a BBW...


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