Right on cue, Grace returned to the den with a cinnamon roll coated in a thick cream cheese frosting and placed it in her mother’s hands. She ignored the embarrassed blush that crossed Amanda’s cheeks and explained, “There was only one left, so Miss Heidi told me I should let you have it!”
“That’s not…I mean, thank you, Gracie,” Amanda meekly replied, both hating the dessert in front of her and wanting to wolf it down.
“Hi Gracie!” Jolene greeted her goddaughter, ruffling Grace’s hair. “Are you excited to have a bunch of new sisters?”
The little moppet grinned and nodded as she answered, “Mhm! I’m going to be a better big sister than Nicole and Josie.”
The women all shared a laugh at Grace’s remark before Heidi entered the room with tea and a plate of snacks. She patted Grace on the shoulder and told her, “Let’s let your mother and your aunties talk, Gracie—I’ll watch Power Puppies with you.”
After the two left the room, Petra shook her head and remarked, “Cute kid—she’s going to be great. Amanda, you want me to fix you a plate?”
“Oh, I really shouldn’t,” Amanda hummed, even though she was practically salivating at the finger sandwiches and cookies that Heidi had prepared. “I had an awfully big breakfast, and the doctor’s telling me that I’ve put on a bit more weight than I should by this point.”
“What does he know?” Rhonda scoffed as she put a few helpings on a dish and handed it to the former cheer captain of Covenant Day. “Is he the one carrying around three human beings inside him? No, so I say live a little.”
It took hardly any convincing to get Amanda to indulge herself at that point; if anything, it would be harder to convince her to stop. She graciously accepted the plate of goodies and rested it atop the swell of her belly, as had become second-nature for her after spending all day in her chair. While the other Angels were still gathering their own plates, the matron popped a macaroon in her mouth and let out a blissful coo. Even after eating Heidi’s cooking all day long for the last several months, she was delighted to find it could still tantalize her.
“You said it, Mandy,” Jolene remarked as she took a bite from her own macaroon. “These things are so good, they should be illegal; you’ve got to get me the recipe.”
“Heidi’s more than happy to share,” Amanda replied before popping a second cookie in her mouth. “That woman is magic in the kitchen.”
“Clearly,” Petra hummed, and for a brief moment, Amanda felt like she was about to get a verbal lashing for how she had let herself go. She shrank back into her chair instinctively, like so many of her victims in high school, only for her friend to add, “The house smelled amazing when we came in—like we’d walked into the kitchen of a restaurant.”
Amanda’s shoulders slumped as she let out a sigh of relief. Still, she had to be careful around the trio, knowing full well what they were capable of when it came to bullying and belittling others. They had managed to make full-grown adults break into tears, and the demure doughball feared being on the receiving end of such a treatment. She needed to watch every bite and every gulp of tea, lest she be torn to proverbial shreds.
And why would they not? Amanda Ericson had allowed herself to become the very thing she swore she would never be—a fat, weak housewife who lead a pathetic excuse of a life. If she was still mobile enough to cook and clean, she could at least complain about feeling straight out of Stepford, but now? She would kill for that lifestyle, where she could at least be thinner than she was now. God, why had she not at least put on some proper clothes instead of just lounging in her pajamas all day like she was back in college?
What a sight she must have been when her friends first walked in: hair slightly frizzy and out of place, clothes tight around her plump curves, and sitting around watching TV like Bonnie Grape. At least they did not know that the cinnamon bun Grace had given her was fourth of the morning, or else she might have died of mortification. But she had never let her friends see her when she was anything less than a 7, and for them to see her as a fat, slobby loser made her want to crawl under a rock.
Where would they start? Maybe her fat face, with its permanent dimples and double chin, or perhaps her bingo wings that were soft as pudding. Maybe her milky udders, which had swollen up like water balloons and pooled to either side of her stomach if she went without a bra. And oh, what a stomach it was, with the girth of a beach ball and a thick layer of blubber that belied the baby bump beneath. The fact that she was sitting did not hide how wide she had gotten, with her hips brushing against the arms of the recliner and her thighs squishing together all the way to the knee. She was ripe pickings for the Angels, and Amanda dreaded the humiliation that was to come.
“Want some more, Amanda?” asked Rhonda. “You must be starving—you wolfed that down faster than my beagle!”
Amanda blinked several times as if waking from a deep sleep and glanced down at the plate on her stomach to find that it was completely empty. Damn it, she had told herself that she would be good! She needed to do better, especially with her friends involved, but she went on with her new normal and made an absolute pig of herself. The humiliation and anxiety that had been roiling inside her finally reached a peak and hot tears were soon running down her chubby cheeks.
“Sorry…I’m sorry,” the blubbering butterball whimpered as she tried to compose herself and prepare for the barrage of insults. She expected Petra to tear her a new one or Jolene to pinch her flabby love handles, but she could never have expected what came next.
Jolene wrapped her arms around her old friend and hugged her tight, whispering, “Hey, hey, it’s okay, Mandy—you don’t have anything to apologize for.”
“Yeah, what Joey said,” Rhonda added as she reached over to pat Amanda on the calf. “We’ve all had good cries when we were pregnant—it happens to the best of us.”
“What’s eating you? You know you can tell us anything,” Petra assured the former cheer captain. “Do we need to kick Levi’s ass?”
Amanda shook her head and fiddled with her fingers as she took a few steadying gulps of air, her eyes fixed on the gravid swell of her belly. She murmured, “It’s…I’ve just gotten so big and I’m so tired all the time. I’m just not myself…I feel so weak and lazy and useless, and I hate people seeing me like this. And I can’t do anything to stop it! I’m just getting bigger and fatter all the time, and everyone just thinks it’s so funny that I’m turning so fat and ugly, and—”
Jolene shifted her hold on Amanda so she could hold the brunette’s head close to her chest, which Amanda leaned right into as she choked back more sobs. “You’re none of those things, Mandy: you are the very picture of motherhood, and you have never looked more beautiful.”
Petra nodded in agreement as she moved around to the other arm of the recliner and held Amanda’s hand. “Did you think we would ever do that or say anything like that to you? Sweetie, we’re not in high school anymore; we’re not the same catty bitches we used to be.”
“Anyone who thinks you’re any less of an amazing woman should have their head checked,” Rhonda chimed in, giving Amanda’s thick calf a gentle, reassuring squeeze.
As she sat there, held by her three closest friends, Amanda was torn by a million thoughts running through her mind. She felt absolutely pathetic for breaking down like that in front of her friends, adding fire to the self-deprecating blaze that was eating away at her. By the same token, she felt an unfamiliar sense of relief as they gave her gentle reassurances that kept that fire from spreading much further. Amanda did not feel like the beautiful, wonderful woman they made her out to be, but she was glad to hear those words all the same.
It took some time for her to calm down, and when she did, she found herself plagued with hiccups, but Amanda felt like a weight had been taken off her chest. She looked to the Angels and gave the barest hint of a smile as she told them, “Thank you, girls…I’m sorry you had to see me like that.”
“No need to apologize, Amanda,” Petra told her former captain with a tap to her lips. “Now, let’s get you upstairs, out of those PJs, and make you feel like a 10 again.”