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paint me happy
Jun 22, 2010
i went to a sports bar this weekend.
saturday night to be exact. attached to the bar is a hotel.
it happened to be a dance party at the hotel for Heavenly Bodies.
while i was with my friends at the sports bar, there was alot of commentary about "them"... aka the fat people.
alot of gasps "did you see that girl with the spandex body suit!" can you IMAGINE?
i sat quietly and listened to the comments and the giggles.
it occured to me that at the table, there were two of us that were "oversized" .... i am a bbw..... he is a ssbhm.
it seemed so very odd to me the people i was with would make comments about large people with two of us so plainly sitting with them.
i never said a word.
all i could think of is..... i wonder what they say about me?
if i wore pants a little too tight... would they laugh at me when i left the room?
i dont know..... it just seemed surreal.
i still got up and danced.
i still had a fabulous time cuz in my mind i was determined to say 'f it', i wanna have fun.
but it hasnt gone away... that curiosity.... did they really have no clue?
i mean....... I GO TO THOSE DANCES!!! I AM a BBW.
it just amazes me sometimes how people are so completely unaware of their prejudices against people of size.
i know some of the girls and guys at these dances... My friends say "you arent like that" "c'mon jen, you arent that big".... have they seen my ass lately? im not blind... i know what and who i am.
in the back of my mind... all i thought was... if they didnt know me.... they would be making fun of me too. that made me sad.

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