Tips for BHM with Autism and more?

Discussion in 'BHM/FFA' started by FatPiggyBoy4U, Mar 13, 2019.

  1. Mar 13, 2019 #1

    FatPiggyBoy4U

    FatPiggyBoy4U

    FatPiggyBoy4U

    Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2014
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    North Sarasota
    Hello everyone. I'm Autistic and I have a crippling lack of social skills. In addition, I'm nearly 30 and a virgin, and I've never had a relationship. I'm on disability for Autism and I don't drive so that further limits my ability to go out. I'm pretty much a house hermit and lay around all day putting on weight.

    I'd really like to branch out but my main means of meeting people is online and I suck at creating a profile. I really want to get out and meet people but I don't know how.

    I'd very much appreciate if people could offer some help. Some female perspective would especially be welcomed.
     
  2. Mar 13, 2019 #2

    loopytheone

    loopytheone

    loopytheone

    Administrator Global Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2012
    Messages:
    3,980
    Likes Received:
    889
    Location:
    ,
    Hiya, I'm a woman, but I'm also autistic and the same age as you, so I understand how you feel. I'm also disabled, don't drive and stay inside a lot, hah.

    I'm the type that is happy to avoid social contact so I'm probably not the best at giving advice here. Are you looking to make friends in general or meet other fat people or FFAs? My suggestions would depend on what kind of social contact you are looking for.
     
  3. Mar 13, 2019 #3

    FatPiggyBoy4U

    FatPiggyBoy4U

    FatPiggyBoy4U

    Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2014
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    North Sarasota
    Hello there. I'm looking primarily to meet people in person but online relationships are nice too.
     
  4. Mar 13, 2019 #4

    loopytheone

    loopytheone

    loopytheone

    Administrator Global Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2012
    Messages:
    3,980
    Likes Received:
    889
    Location:
    ,
    Are you looking for friends or people to date?
     
  5. Mar 13, 2019 #5

    FatPiggyBoy4U

    FatPiggyBoy4U

    FatPiggyBoy4U

    Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2014
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    North Sarasota
    Both but preferably date. There's a bar in walking distance of me but I've never had much success there. One couple years ago, most seem to think was hitting on me but being autistic it all flew over my head at the time so I it became a lost opportunity.
     
  6. Mar 13, 2019 #6

    BigElectricKat

    BigElectricKat

    BigElectricKat

    Notice Anything Different? Global Moderator

    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Messages:
    824
    Likes Received:
    656
    Location:
    The Midwest
    Far be it from me to consider myself a source of knowledge in the world of dating or making friends considering my own current situation. But some advice I gave another person here might be a good starting place for you. A great way to meet like minded people is to find/join special interest groups. Look for online or local venues that cater to any of your own interests/hobbies, whatever they may be. There you have a basis for striking up conversations through a shared interest.

    Now if only that could work for me...
     
    loopytheone likes this.
  7. Mar 14, 2019 #7

    loopytheone

    loopytheone

    loopytheone

    Administrator Global Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2012
    Messages:
    3,980
    Likes Received:
    889
    Location:
    ,
    BEK is absolutely right. If you are looking to meet people IRL, I would suggest joining groups for things that you are interested in and generally going out and socialising with people as much as possible. You'll meet friends of friends that way, some of them potential date material.

    I don't know of any groups for BHM in person, though. There are certainly websites that help BHM/BBW find dates, such as Feabie, Fantasy Feeder etc that might be helpful for online stuff.
     
    BigElectricKat likes this.
  8. Mar 22, 2019 at 3:06 AM #8

    Crumbling

    Crumbling

    Crumbling

    Distilled Evil

    Joined:
    May 3, 2007
    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    91
    Location:
    Scotland
    I was a 'late bloomer', I have some pretty bad social anxiety and self confidence issues myself. I joined a gaming group.. and gave myself a reason to leave the house and socialise once a week. I still cringe at the memory of missteps, and more so missed opportunities (because hindsight is 20:20) ... but i learned from my mistakes. I built a network of friends, I acquired a career, had relationships. Friends introduced me to other friends... and eventually I crossed orbits with the woman who has been my partner in crime for over a decade.

    It's a hard thing to do... but social skills are like every other kind of skill. You need to practice and use them to 'get good' and while it can be awkward, even for the neurotypical, you will get there.
    Online chat and groups can help you develop some of those skills but if you want to have real life relationships you need to practice those skills in real life.

    Join groups that interest you, take a class, join a club, volunteer, attend a talk at your local library... if you want to develop your social skills you need to give yourself opportunities to be social and sociable.

    Relationships, of all kinds, can and will develop out of that.

    As for the virgin thing, it can seem like a bigger deal than it actually is. Every time is a learning experience. When you met the right person(s)... It won't matter.

    I'm rooting for you. The first steps take courage but it gets easier. If I can do it... so can you.
     

Share This Page