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Transitioning

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Maize

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2009
Messages
64
Location
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Hey, everyone!

I've just begun the process of pursuing transitioning services for gender affirmation. I no longer identify as a cis male, although I'm not 100% sure where I'll wind up on the gender spectrum. I'm heavily leaning toward identifying as a trans woman using she/her pronouns, but I'm leaving open the possibility that as I explore, I may wind up somewhere in the non-binary realm.

I'm still at the very very start of being "out" about this and starting to try to access services. The new profile picture I've set here is actually a current selfie run through FaceApp's "gender" filter. There are all kinds of problems with that filter, of course, but for now, this is a photo that still feels like me but also feels more comfortable and affirming to me. It's likely to not be accurate in the long run, I know. I think of it as aspirational.

I was wondering if anyone out there has gone through this process before, and specifically as a fat person. I've had my first appointment to discuss this with my regular GP/doctor, and she was great and supportive but also admitted that this is not her area of expertise, so she's sending me to a specialist. Since it took me ages to find a doctor who treated me well and without overt anti-fat bias, I'm worried about this all over again with being referred to a specialist. I don't have the best past record of experiences with specialists, some of whom have denied me access to basic care because of their fatphobia, and some of whom were even racist to me. I do trust my GP, though, and I hope she finds someone good.

I'm also worried about gatekeeping because of my weight. Since I'm AMAB and would be seeking feminizing hormone therapy, I'd be facing risk assessments for both hypertension and diabetes, among other things. And of course, looking long term, if I consider SRS, that comes with all of the BMI restrictions associated with major surgery in general.

(Unrelated to fatness, but I'm also worried about how effective this is all likely to be for me, getting such a late start. I'm 49, and all of the documents talk about how getting an early start is a major factor, but especially that efficacy drops off sharply after 50. Of course, 49 is less than 50, but it's close, and if I wind up having to satisfy a lot of weird protocols to get access to treatments, I could easily be 50 by the time I actually start.)

Anyway, I'm just curious if anyone has any experiences to share, or even if people just want to wish me luck. It's scary, but I think it's going to be really good for me.
 

stampy

DimensionsModel
Joined
Jan 8, 2015
Messages
64
Location
Ohio
I am happy to wish you luck!! It sounds like you have an adventure ahead!!! Maybe it will be like a rebirth. If there is any way I can help, let me know!!
 

BigElectricKat

Moderator
Staff member
Global Moderator
Joined
May 22, 2017
Messages
1,712
Location
The Midwest
I would also like to wish you luck in the coming days/weeks/months. It's well known that any surgery is a risk so I'm crossing my fingers for you. I have to tell you that I think you are very brave for taking these steps toward your happiness.
 

Tad

Dimensions' loiterer
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
13,417
Location
The great white north, eh?
Good luck, Maize, and I hope you'll free to come back here and comment, vent, or whatever about the process. Also I admire your bravery for embarking on this adventure.
 

loopytheone

Staff member
Administrator
Global Moderator
Joined
Dec 14, 2012
Messages
4,494
Location
England
Best of luck to you! I do know of a couple of fat trans people, though they are younger and they aren't people I was very close to so I don't have much insight there, I'm afraid.

Wherever you end up in your journey exploring your gender, I wish you happiness and health.

Perhaps you will be able to get hormone treatments or surgery in the future, which would be great, but even if not, please don't be sad or discouraged. You are who you are, and that is just as valid with or without treatments. It's a shame you don't live in the UK or I could offer some help with finding plus sized clothes stores and such, hm.

Well, I'm sorry I can't be much help, but my inbox is open if you need to talk and don't mind waiting for my slow self to reply, hah! I'm not trans myself but I am fat and female so I can offer advice from that perspective.
 
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