Cutie 1985
Member
Have you ever dated a NON-FA and realized/have been told that they are "ok" with your weight because they love you/like you BUT that they would prefer that you lose weight ... Like your weight doesn't bother them because they care about you, but it is not a turn-on or a good thing b/c they would prefer you thinner ... Are you ok with this or not? Would this bother you? If so, would it bother you enough that you would end the relationship, even if you have been dating for a long time and/or are in love?
I'm wondering b/c I've been dating the same guy since we were 15, we're 21 now, and I've gone from 125 to 160 pounds, and I now wiegh 150 (I'm 5'3). My boyf is attracted to/prefers thin girls (i know b/c he says so and it is obvious). Anyway, he says my weight doesn't bother him because he is in love with me and stuff like that doesn't matter to him because he cares about me as a person ... But then he occasionally complains if i gain weight or he will ask me to lose 20-30 pounds. Depending on my mood, I try not to let these comments bother me b/c I know he prefers thin girls but he loves me anyway, (although he once said that I was "better" at 125/130 pounds and that he wished I would get back there. This caused a fight when I asked what did he mean by "better" - better looking? better person? better what? He just said "your body looked better - not you"
... That's a 20 yr old for ya, so I let it go) ... Sometimes I feel like he doesn't care about my weight b/c he loves me, not b/c he loves my body, which does bother me.
Has anyone expierenced the same thing??? If so does this bother you or does you partner's love make it ok if they would prefer for you to lose weight ???
I'm wondering b/c I've been dating the same guy since we were 15, we're 21 now, and I've gone from 125 to 160 pounds, and I now wiegh 150 (I'm 5'3). My boyf is attracted to/prefers thin girls (i know b/c he says so and it is obvious). Anyway, he says my weight doesn't bother him because he is in love with me and stuff like that doesn't matter to him because he cares about me as a person ... But then he occasionally complains if i gain weight or he will ask me to lose 20-30 pounds. Depending on my mood, I try not to let these comments bother me b/c I know he prefers thin girls but he loves me anyway, (although he once said that I was "better" at 125/130 pounds and that he wished I would get back there. This caused a fight when I asked what did he mean by "better" - better looking? better person? better what? He just said "your body looked better - not you"
... That's a 20 yr old for ya, so I let it go) ... Sometimes I feel like he doesn't care about my weight b/c he loves me, not b/c he loves my body, which does bother me.Has anyone expierenced the same thing??? If so does this bother you or does you partner's love make it ok if they would prefer for you to lose weight ???
