You know your a BHM when??

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Rhino1978

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 14, 2007
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o.k il start


When you someone see's a 2 year old photo of you and says"thats not you" and you reply it was over 100lbs ago.

Can still remember the look on her face when i said it lol
 

IwannabeVERYfat

ready to be fattened up!!
Joined
Nov 20, 2006
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710
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when your belly arrives before you do

when it has it's own area code

you could use it to rest your plate on
 

Wanderer

Actor at Extra-Large
Joined
May 3, 2006
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610
Location
,
You know you're a BHM when:

Belly-rubs are a real turn-on.

You outgrow your car.

You have to fasten your belt while looking in a mirrror.

It takes you five minutes to get off the couch.

Anytime you grow a beard, little kids think you're Santa Claus.

You know you're a SSBHM when:

You go from "pointer" to "setter".

You outgrow your station wagon.

You use suspenders instead of a belt, because at least they fasten.

It takes you fifteen minutes to get off the couch... and by the time you do, you're too tired to remember why you got up!

You can't play Santa anymore because your lap is under your belly.

Yours truly,

The hoping-to-grow-and-grow,

Wanderer
 

fat hiker

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Joined
Oct 25, 2005
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1,562
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Ottawa, ON
People at an office party assume you can drink a lot, just because of your size: 'C'mon, you gotta have CAPACITY.....'
 

Fatgator

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Joined
Dec 17, 2007
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155
Location
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You know you're a BHM when you're eating out with people and someone asks "Does anyone want this" then looks directly at you.

You know you're a BHM when you order a bunch of food for a meal at a restaurant and the waitress says "I bet your parents get scared when you come home"

(That last one actually happened to me...at the time I was in high school, not in college, but the waitress assumed I was in college, and it was during a winter break, so she thought I was visiting home...those were her exact words to me)

You know you're a BHM when you go to a buffet alone and the waitress brings you 5 extra plates (instead of the customary 1 or 2) and says "looks like you'll be needing these" (again, happened to me).

You know you're a BHM when the waitress gets that annoyed look on her face when you walk in (because to her, you'll order a lot of food making more work for her)

You know you're a BHM when you get stuck in desks at school (check)

You know you're a BHM when you run out of breath just walking up some stairs (happens to me)

You know you're a BHM when you're at a party and realize you can't come and go as you please without knocking things or people over.
 

Tad

Dimensions' loiterer
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
13,225
Location
The great white north, eh?
When you have to take into account, when planning how long it takes to get out the door, "putting on shoes."

When at a store they are measuring you for pants, and have to ask "above or below the belly?"

When you walk into a restaurant and the staff fight over who's section you'll be in, anticipating a big meal hence big tip.

When you start considering getting a paint brush for quicker application of sun-block....but if you go to a nudist beach there is no danger of burning your delicate parts.
 

Melian

Ultimate Chimera
Joined
Feb 12, 2006
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When you start considering getting a paint brush for quicker application of sun-block....but if you go to a nudist beach there is no danger of burning your delicate parts.
Do you frequent nude beaches? ;)
 

BigDave

Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
18
Location
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When the airline charges you for two seats (THIS SUPPOSEDLY HAPPENS ON SOME AIRLINES!).

When you buy a shorter bed...as to not hurt yourself when getting out of it in the morning (did this once!).

When sleeping on the sofa feels safer...so that you don't roll over your much thinner other half (personal experience).

When women describe you as "beefy" or "a whole lot of man" instead of calling you "fatass" or "lazy" (personal experience).

Or, to get a little ridiculous...

When people start to use you as an umbrella at the beach.
 
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