They needed a game plan. Dealing with a manipulative mastermind such as Crucifix would require nothing short of the skill of a chess grandmaster.
Luckily, Eddie knew a thing or two about a thing or two.
The conflict started over the phone.
"Bonjour! Who, may I ask, is calling?"
"Flame! It's…it's Big Tech. Me and Bombshell have a problem, but you can help us. I can't tell you everything, but would you be amenable to hustling some pool with a telepath, and possibly keeping him occupied until I give you a signal?"
"Sounds delightful. Details?"
"His name is Dante Collins, big dude, like, almost me-sized, can't miss him."
"Magnifique! Just text me a time, Big Tech!"
Click.
***
"Yo, Eddie, what's up?"
"Dante! Hi. Listen, thanks for all your help cleaning up my little mess at the office. I was wondering if you might meet me at Willie's Pool Hall. There's another fire I need help putting out."
"What are friends for, dude? How messy?"
"Astronomically."
"Perfect."
***
"Is an Evergreen able to come to the phone?"
"Speaking–and Big Tech! Where have you been? You haven't reached out since the housewarming party!"
"Have you seen the news lately?"
"I suppose you have been busy…"
"Listen, Evergreen, me and Bombshell are having a little supervillain trouble. I completely understand if you don't want–"
"Are you kidding me? I am SO in!"
***
"Martika!"
"Oh, hello, Eddie!"
"Listen, Oriana explained your plan to me, and I'm in full support."
"Oh, Eddie, you mean it?"
"Of course! Nothing is more important to me than a fair future for Ori's and my children."
"Wonderful!"
"In fact, we'd like to come to your rally tomorrow to show our gratitude, and so that Bombshell can take her rightful place as co-ruler at your side. Will you make sure that border patrol lets us in?"
"Done and done! Welcome to the family, Comrade! I'm so glad you've chosen wisely."
***
Poised to make their move, Eddie and Oriana made the trip to the Commune overnight. They checked into a hotel under false identities and took advantage of the hours before Crucifix's rally to rest and mentally prepare themselves for the biggest save of either of their lives.
Eddie's plan, thought Oriana, was as elegant as it was simplistic. In plainclothes, they would attend the assembly, and, once close enough to the stage, Oriana, unrecognizable as Bombshell, would use her signature fattening finisher on Crucifix, instantly immobilizing her. With their leader down for the count and no idea against whom to retaliate, the most logical course of action for the cult following of the divisive diva would be to abandon their evil agenda and stand down. They had invited Evergreen as a precaution, and soon enough she texted to let them know she had arrived in the Commune and would be keeping an eye on the rally from a distance, but if all went well, they could finish this fight before it started.
What was that Sun Tzu quote about winning without fighting?
***
"Friends! Comrades! True believers!" bellowed Crucifix, fully suited up in her mask and supervillainous regalia, into her megaphone on the stage of a grand arena. With Eddie close at her heels, Oriana made her approach. He grasped her hand, entwining his pudgy fingers with her own and squeezing firmly, hoping to lend her reassurance. "For too long, we have suffered as second-class citizens, pipelined into the military, utilized for our gifts and outcast as freaks in the same fell swoop, crushed under the boot of the heinous Heroics Division and the apathetic State! Well, I say, no more!"
The packed crowd of Deviants that comprised the audience gave a collective, deafening cheer.
Eddie had to admit, she had a point. In dismay, he realized there was truly no faction in this brewing conflict that held the moral high ground. The Heroics Division was just as dismissive of Deviant rights as Crucifix's army was of everyone else's. How, then, was he supposed to justify his and Oriana's decision to uphold a broken and unjust institution?
"Tonight," Crucifix went on, "we contact the White House and demand a transfer of power to the Commune! If they refuse, we will slaughter every Genetic Typical man, woman, and child who refuses to bow to our authority until the country is ours!"
…That said, this ***** had to be stopped.
Oriana chose that moment to strike.
The fattening of Martika Mitchell had to be the grandest display of biomanipulation Oriana had accomplished yet. The genocidal giantess' already ample frame ballooned with a ferocity never before seen, on or off of television, snapping the laces of her corset and the seams of her leather chaps and setting off a crackling cacophony not incomparable to a fireworks show. With a shocked screech, she fell backwards, her thickening arms flailing, stub-like, as they lost the competition for space to her titanic torso and bare breasts. Her stomach surged forward over her legs in a dazzling deluge of fresh fat, and the swift swelling of her derriere made her appear to rise inches off the stage.
That's when it should have been over, but Eddie had vastly overestimated the intelligence of Crucifix's criminal crew. Had he been a citizen of the Commune who'd just witnessed the defeat of his leader, he would have concluded, for the sake of self-preservation, that it was time to flee. But Crucifix's men weren't exactly a crowd of critical thinkers. Sure, some of them had doubtlessly joined her for ideological reasons, but many more were obviously here to sate their aimless bloodlust. As the audience's fervor gave way to chaos and they began to attack one another indiscriminately, Eddie lamented to himself that in hindsight, he should have seen this coming.
Luckily, Eddie knew a thing or two about a thing or two.
The conflict started over the phone.
"Bonjour! Who, may I ask, is calling?"
"Flame! It's…it's Big Tech. Me and Bombshell have a problem, but you can help us. I can't tell you everything, but would you be amenable to hustling some pool with a telepath, and possibly keeping him occupied until I give you a signal?"
"Sounds delightful. Details?"
"His name is Dante Collins, big dude, like, almost me-sized, can't miss him."
"Magnifique! Just text me a time, Big Tech!"
Click.
***
"Yo, Eddie, what's up?"
"Dante! Hi. Listen, thanks for all your help cleaning up my little mess at the office. I was wondering if you might meet me at Willie's Pool Hall. There's another fire I need help putting out."
"What are friends for, dude? How messy?"
"Astronomically."
"Perfect."
***
"Is an Evergreen able to come to the phone?"
"Speaking–and Big Tech! Where have you been? You haven't reached out since the housewarming party!"
"Have you seen the news lately?"
"I suppose you have been busy…"
"Listen, Evergreen, me and Bombshell are having a little supervillain trouble. I completely understand if you don't want–"
"Are you kidding me? I am SO in!"
***
"Martika!"
"Oh, hello, Eddie!"
"Listen, Oriana explained your plan to me, and I'm in full support."
"Oh, Eddie, you mean it?"
"Of course! Nothing is more important to me than a fair future for Ori's and my children."
"Wonderful!"
"In fact, we'd like to come to your rally tomorrow to show our gratitude, and so that Bombshell can take her rightful place as co-ruler at your side. Will you make sure that border patrol lets us in?"
"Done and done! Welcome to the family, Comrade! I'm so glad you've chosen wisely."
***
Poised to make their move, Eddie and Oriana made the trip to the Commune overnight. They checked into a hotel under false identities and took advantage of the hours before Crucifix's rally to rest and mentally prepare themselves for the biggest save of either of their lives.
Eddie's plan, thought Oriana, was as elegant as it was simplistic. In plainclothes, they would attend the assembly, and, once close enough to the stage, Oriana, unrecognizable as Bombshell, would use her signature fattening finisher on Crucifix, instantly immobilizing her. With their leader down for the count and no idea against whom to retaliate, the most logical course of action for the cult following of the divisive diva would be to abandon their evil agenda and stand down. They had invited Evergreen as a precaution, and soon enough she texted to let them know she had arrived in the Commune and would be keeping an eye on the rally from a distance, but if all went well, they could finish this fight before it started.
What was that Sun Tzu quote about winning without fighting?
***
"Friends! Comrades! True believers!" bellowed Crucifix, fully suited up in her mask and supervillainous regalia, into her megaphone on the stage of a grand arena. With Eddie close at her heels, Oriana made her approach. He grasped her hand, entwining his pudgy fingers with her own and squeezing firmly, hoping to lend her reassurance. "For too long, we have suffered as second-class citizens, pipelined into the military, utilized for our gifts and outcast as freaks in the same fell swoop, crushed under the boot of the heinous Heroics Division and the apathetic State! Well, I say, no more!"
The packed crowd of Deviants that comprised the audience gave a collective, deafening cheer.
Eddie had to admit, she had a point. In dismay, he realized there was truly no faction in this brewing conflict that held the moral high ground. The Heroics Division was just as dismissive of Deviant rights as Crucifix's army was of everyone else's. How, then, was he supposed to justify his and Oriana's decision to uphold a broken and unjust institution?
"Tonight," Crucifix went on, "we contact the White House and demand a transfer of power to the Commune! If they refuse, we will slaughter every Genetic Typical man, woman, and child who refuses to bow to our authority until the country is ours!"
…That said, this ***** had to be stopped.
Oriana chose that moment to strike.
The fattening of Martika Mitchell had to be the grandest display of biomanipulation Oriana had accomplished yet. The genocidal giantess' already ample frame ballooned with a ferocity never before seen, on or off of television, snapping the laces of her corset and the seams of her leather chaps and setting off a crackling cacophony not incomparable to a fireworks show. With a shocked screech, she fell backwards, her thickening arms flailing, stub-like, as they lost the competition for space to her titanic torso and bare breasts. Her stomach surged forward over her legs in a dazzling deluge of fresh fat, and the swift swelling of her derriere made her appear to rise inches off the stage.
That's when it should have been over, but Eddie had vastly overestimated the intelligence of Crucifix's criminal crew. Had he been a citizen of the Commune who'd just witnessed the defeat of his leader, he would have concluded, for the sake of self-preservation, that it was time to flee. But Crucifix's men weren't exactly a crowd of critical thinkers. Sure, some of them had doubtlessly joined her for ideological reasons, but many more were obviously here to sate their aimless bloodlust. As the audience's fervor gave way to chaos and they began to attack one another indiscriminately, Eddie lamented to himself that in hindsight, he should have seen this coming.