Bullied Bus Monitor - Big Fat Hypocrisy?

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Marlayna

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Very good article, though most of the comments were unrelated to it.
 

Shinobi_Hime-Sama

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I read the comments on this and couldn't bear to even watch the video, I read the comments first though, but just from that I knew it would probably make me cry or mad enough to strangle the little shits who dared to pick on a senior citizen in the first place.:mad:
 

EMH1701

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I have to agree. It is hypocrisy. We have a society that has brainwashed probably 95% of the population into hating anyone above 5 or 10 pounds overweight. And some even hate the 5 pounds overweight people. Why is this an unexpected result of said brainwashing?
 

LoveBHMS

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So it's society's fault? Bull. This is nothing to do with fat hatred and everything to do with bad parenting. Even if the kids hate fat people that doesn't excuse the behaviour. Fat hatred is fat hatred but this is bullying and disrespect for a senior citizen. Is there anyone on this board who'd have gotten away with that behaviour? No way. Who among us would not have gotten ass whipped and marched over to Mrs Klein's house to apologize? And probably grounded for life.
 

imfree

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So it's society's fault? Bull. This is nothing to do with fat hatred and everything to do with bad parenting. Even if the kids hate fat people that doesn't excuse the behaviour. Fat hatred is fat hatred but this is bullying and disrespect for a senior citizen. Is there anyone on this board who'd have gotten away with that behaviour? No way. Who among us would not have gotten ass whipped and marched over to Mrs Klein's house to apologize? And probably grounded for life.
Great point, as hate is internal to a person and does not need to be acted upon. We should never hate and we should always respect the dignity of another person, even if there is something we find disagreeable about that person.
 

Captain Save

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I think it's a matter of excessive leniency and ineffective methods of discouraging unwanted behaviors in children. Sure, we can blame the internet and the routine vitriol spewed on it's walls for all to see, we can blame the general softening of consequences for unwanted behavior in ANY similar situation and the rationalizing of why people do the things they do, but at the end of the day I think we've just gotten too highminded and civilized at the way such things are addressed from a parenting perspective.

The other part of this equation is that I have a hard time believing this would have been covered by the media of yesteryear, and I'd like to think the highminded professionals of days gone by would simply ignored this type of story; without the all pervasive flow of information offered by the internet a news service can spare others the story of what I'd like to consider an isolated and shameful occurance in a humiliated small town. In either case, you can't put the genie back in the bottle, so the equation remains the same for now. Maybe it's for the best; having the entire news watching world find these actions so overwhelmingly repugnant has to be a quite a harsh lesson for these kids to learn, as well as their entire community. It's my understanding the kids involved have become quite apologetic since the story broke; I'm sure their story is easy enough to find online.
 

LoveBHMS

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I think it's a matter of excessive leniency and ineffective methods of discouraging unwanted behaviors in children. Sure, we can blame the internet and the routine vitriol spewed on it's walls for all to see, we can blame the general softening of consequences for unwanted behavior in ANY similar situation and the rationalizing of why people do the things they do, but at the end of the day I think we've just gotten too highminded and civilized at the way such things are addressed from a parenting perspective.
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It's a matter of narcissism and lack of shame. Parents of a generation ago would have been humiliated by this sort of thing. Kids didn't have time outs, they got their asses beat and got grounded and got severe punishments. Parents expected to parent, not be the kids' friends. If you got in trouble at school it was your fault, not the teachers.

Everyone I know who works with kids says the parents are the worst part of their job.
 

EMH1701

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So it's society's fault? Bull. This is nothing to do with fat hatred and everything to do with bad parenting. Even if the kids hate fat people that doesn't excuse the behaviour. Fat hatred is fat hatred but this is bullying and disrespect for a senior citizen. Is there anyone on this board who'd have gotten away with that behaviour? No way. Who among us would not have gotten ass whipped and marched over to Mrs Klein's house to apologize? And probably grounded for life.
If society did not make it acceptable to hate fat people, or hate anyone for anything other than being evil like Saddam Hussein, then it would not have happened. But yes, bad parenting is also to blame. Probably those same bad parents also helped to instill prejudice in their kids. Kids start out as blank slates. They learn prejudice from those around them. They do not start out being prejudiced against anyone for any reason.

We have lost respect for others as a society. In general, society has ceased being polite and civil. When you lose that, your society goes downhill.
 

Donna

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There was a very interesting (to me anyway) peice on CNN.com that indicates the bullying of Karen Klein by these miscreants is most likely not uncommon. I have heard stories from friends of mine in the education field that make me cringe.

Society and bad parenting probably both contributed to this situation in my opinion. Children learn what they see and the opinions of these children involved in the Karen Klein incident were not created in a vacuum. No one here will likely argue that fat stigmatism isn’t rampant in our society. But the issue in my eyes isn’t about fat stereotypes. While the children resorted mostly to the easiest insult in their insult-arsenal when they called Mrs. Klein fat, they also made classist and ageist insults as well.
 

Surlysomething

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It's a matter of narcissism and lack of shame. Parents of a generation ago would have been humiliated by this sort of thing. Kids didn't have time outs, they got their asses beat and got grounded and got severe punishments. Parents expected to parent, not be the kids' friends. If you got in trouble at school it was your fault, not the teachers.

Everyone I know who works with kids says the parents are the worst part of their job.
I fully agree.

It's sad because it lumps in all the good parents who are doing their job well and raising respectful, kind kids.
 

LoveBHMS

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What I honestly don't get is why Mrs. Klein didn't smack them all upside the head. That's what my grandmother would have done. At the very least the bus driver would have stopped and in some cases thrown the kids off. And the parents would have been informed along with the expectation that the kids would be punished.
 

Donna

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Bullying has an effect that doesn't get discussed very often...it makes one feel like they are the cause of the bad behavior. I would say this is not the first time Karen Klein has been bullied in her life. Victims of bullying tend to blame themselves. She more than likely found herself questioning what she had done to provoke their ire and what she could do to prevent it in the future.

And honestly, the cynic in me believes if she had taken their bait (I strongly believe they were trying to get a reaction from her; why else would they videotape the incident?) and retaliated verbally or physically, we would be having a discussion now about the viral video of the bus monitor who melted down. There would be a lot of clucking about how she should be ashamed of herself for reacting so violently to what would be deemed "simple misbehavior."
 

Marlayna

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Give the bus monitors stun guns. The internet retirement fund that someone started for her has over 600K last I read. Good for her, she doesn't have to be the target of bullying any more.
 

thatgirl08

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I went to the highschool literally 10 minutes from this high school.. tons of family & friends living in Greece right now. I saw the video last week as it was being passed around by people I graduated with and I was absolutely horrified. A close friend of mine made the donation page for Karen and me and several of my friends have contributed. I was both completely shocked and saddened to see their behavior. I have also spoken out on my Facebook about the intolerances I faced for my weight living in Rochester. A little bit of backlash but much more support than I expected.
 

EMH1701

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What I honestly don't get is why Mrs. Klein didn't smack them all upside the head. That's what my grandmother would have done. At the very least the bus driver would have stopped and in some cases thrown the kids off. And the parents would have been informed along with the expectation that the kids would be punished.
These days, you can't do stuff like that or you get thrown in jail for child abuse, no matter what the reason. You might also get sued, and the school district might also get sued. You absolutely cannot hit kids in public, especially not in a situation like a bus where someone is videotaping it.
 

moore2me

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When I was teaching public school, I needed a little more income so I learned to drive a big yellow school bus and my school district hired me to driver a route one hour before school and one hour after school each day. The work was hard. The bus was the biggest model, it seated 60 kids. It has no airconditioning. I was standard shift. And the biggest piece of crap, the gas pedal had a "governor" on it so I couldn't give it too much gas or drive too fast. Most of my route was on dirt, rural roads that turned to brown pudding in the winter. It wasn't unusual for me to slide the bus in a ditch and have to get a local farmer to pull me out with a big tractor.

But the relevant remarks to this story is you can't let the little bastards think you are afraid of them. They can be like a pack of hyenas and when several of them go after someone, that person better "man up" quickly, loudly, and be the baddest person on the bus. Think Madea. I had to pull the bus to the side of the road and walk like Bufford Pussar (WALKING TALL) to the back and start opening cans of whoop ass. Almost always the troublemakers are sitting at the back. I didn't need a weapon, for years I fought with my two huge brothers and weapons were not used. (They would just take them away from me and use them on my my stoopid head.)

The worst thing I would do is throw them off the bus by the scruff of their neck. Then I would call their mom and/or dad and tell them what their little darlin' did on the way home. If I was really pissed, I would drive the bus to their house and stop by personally. A minor infraction on the bus would be to require the main trouble maker sit next to me (behind the driver) and make a band of trouble makers split up. I carried a tape player and would put some music on that the kids hated - Lawrence Welk or Wayne Newton kind of stuff or opera.

The main idea is to stop misbehavior from escalating. Stop it soon and stop it fast. Stop it hard. Make the rest of their little ride home miserable by no friends, no talking, bad music, sit next to their little sister, or something they do not like. Then follow it up with formal disciplinary action. My favorite was making them hand wash the bus during their study hall time or during their PE time/ Or tell the coach what they did and he would make them run bleachers.
 

biglynch

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When I was teaching public school, I needed a little more income so I learned to drive a big yellow school bus and my school district hired me to driver a route one hour before school and one hour after school each day. The work was hard. The bus was the biggest model, it seated 60 kids. It has no airconditioning. I was standard shift. And the biggest piece of crap, the gas pedal had a "governor" on it so I couldn't give it too much gas or drive too fast. Most of my route was on dirt, rural roads that turned to brown pudding in the winter. It wasn't unusual for me to slide the bus in a ditch and have to get a local farmer to pull me out with a big tractor.

But the relevant remarks to this story is you can't let the little bastards think you are afraid of them. They can be like a pack of hyenas and when several of them go after someone, that person better "man up" quickly, loudly, and be the baddest person on the bus. Think Madea. I had to pull the bus to the side of the road and walk like Bufford Pussar (WALKING TALL) to the back and start opening cans of whoop ass. Almost always the troublemakers are sitting at the back. I didn't need a weapon, for years I fought with my two huge brothers and weapons were not used. (They would just take them away from me and use them on my my stoopid head.)

The worst thing I would do is throw them off the bus by the scruff of their neck. Then I would call their mom and/or dad and tell them what their little darlin' did on the way home. If I was really pissed, I would drive the bus to their house and stop by personally. A minor infraction on the bus would be to require the main trouble maker sit next to me (behind the driver) and make a band of trouble makers split up. I carried a tape player and would put some music on that the kids hated - Lawrence Welk or Wayne Newton kind of stuff or opera.

The main idea is to stop misbehavior from escalating. Stop it soon and stop it fast. Stop it hard. Make the rest of their little ride home miserable by no friends, no talking, bad music, sit next to their little sister, or something they do not like. Then follow it up with formal disciplinary action. My favorite was making them hand wash the bus during their study hall time or during their PE time/ Or tell the coach what they did and he would make them run bleachers.
Spot on, her first error was to try and play along with the joke, and bless her she only did that as she was clearly just a nice person. Granted that was in no way her fault either, but the fact is not horrid kids these days arenot all stupid and will capitolize. They hit fast and hard, its awful, but thats how packs run. If kids cant scare you or irritate you then you win. Still my heart goes out big time to her as she tollerates more than enough.:bow:
 

Delightfully Peculiar

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These days, you can't do stuff like that or you get thrown in jail for child abuse, no matter what the reason. You might also get sued, and the school district might also get sued. You absolutely cannot hit kids in public, especially not in a situation like a bus where someone is videotaping it.
Exactly. As an educator, I can attest that you are basically told to never put your hands on a child for any reason. We were even warned about encouraging pats on the back. These days you will get sued. If I had been in this bus monitor's position, I would have turned and told the students, "I am taking down your names, the date, and time. I am documenting all your inappropriate words and actions, as they are bullying. I will take this document to the principal tomorrow morning and personally ensure that each of your parents are called and required to come in for a meeting to discuss your behavior, and I will ask that you are punished to the full extent of the school's bullying policy." Then I would follow through. While I do feel very sorry for this lady, at the same time adults must act like adults and show kids that their actions have consequences. There are other ways of dealing that do not involve grin and bear it or retaliating violently.
 
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