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Could this man like me? Should I pursue him?

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New Member
Sep 28, 2020
United States
Hey guys, I been a long time lurker on these boards, but never felt the need to post anything. Now I need a place where I can ask for advice without judgement on my size. This was the first place I thought of. All the people in my life are not plus sized and just don’t truly understand.

I am female, 34 and divorced. I’m a BBW about 350 pounds. I have typically always been a very self confident woman, but have struggled a bit recently. I try not to come off as arrogant but I do think I am a very attractive woman. My apperance has always meant a lot to me, and I always pay very close attention to my grooming. Just for example of what I look like, My body type/size and height is very similar to model Tess Holliday. I have always been very into beauty and have been taught makeup, hair, and how to dress. I have long blonde hair down to the middle of my back which is well taken care of. I go to a salon regularly. I have very clear porcelain skin and know how to apply makeup well. I also get eyelashes extensions done regularly. I have a nice smile and white teeth. I also dress very stylish and flattering. All being said, I have been crushing hard on a man I work with for two years now. For the first time in my life I feel inadequate to pursue him. I don’t understand why I feel this way. While this man is sexy, and a lot of women consider him to be, he’s not really a conventionally attractive man. He is a shorter guy like 5’7 but he is really only slightly chunky, probably not much over 200 pounds which is obviously much smaller than me. He has a long beard and tattoos but his features are softer and a little more feminine. He is not a super self confident guy due to being hurt by an ex and often uses self depreciating humor to make others laugh.I am just trying to understand if I am aiming to far above the bar here. Is this guy possibly out of my league? I don’t want to pursue someone I realistically have no chance with. Are guys like that generally into BBW or is every man just different? I assume there is no way to tell without asking. I haven’t been with anyone since my ex and we were together a long time, so it’s obvious I haven’t dated in a while.

that being said, we have become somewhat close but We aren’t friends outside of work or text or hang out. We are the same age and have a lot in common. I have always felt there was a chemistry or sexual tension between us. I Even thought I felt it back when we fist started working together and I was still married. Or I could just be making the sexual tension up in my head cause I want it to be there.We kind of do different jobs at work, so our paths don’t cross as often as I’d like. I do feel he makes very obviously lame excuses to come see me in my office sometimes. We make eye contact with each other. We have both been caught staring and looking away. I feel like when we are in groups he tends to stand closer to me and his voice seems softer when talking to me over other people. Sometimes our conversations are awkward cause I know I am nervous. Sometimes I swear he blushes during awkward conversations at times. He sometimes stumbles over words when talking to me and says bizzare things that make no sense, I also assume out of nervousness. He compliments me a lot. He’s said I look lovely, and compliments me on what I wear. He has told me he likes that I have sense of style, and that I rock my wardrobe. He does sweet little gestures, like last winter he cleaned snow off my car for me, held my hand across the parking lot so I didn’t fall on ice. He also gave me a Christmas card that felt a little personal/sentimental considering I didn’t really know him well at that point last year. No one has ever pointed out sexual chemistry between us but we don’t interact together with other coworkers a lot. However, a client mistakenly believed us to be married. When I told him this,he was flattered, and said I should have just went along with it to the client. This led to us joking around about marrying each other. I feel like he has paid special attention to his appearance at work recently. He recently got real nice haircut and cut his normally long beard short. He also has been wearing lots of nice new shirts and ties which he doesn’t normally wear, and good smelling cologne. We have a had somewhat intimate conversations confiding in each other regarding troubles in our past relationships. He has been single for quite a few years now and has been looking for a girlfriend. Does it sound like this man is interested in me? Or does it sound like this is merely a friendship of sorts? Should I take a leap and pursue something with him or am I over my head? Would he have asked me out already if he was interested?

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