Dating only FAs

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MisticalMisty

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I wasn't sure where to post this..and I think it's been discussed before but I couldn't find it at all.

A friend and I got in a debate tonight about the term FA and the fact that I choose to only date FAs.

He said that he doesn't want to be labeled. I can understand that..I hate the term ssbbw..I'm just a fat girl.

However, sparks flew when I started mentioning that I only wanted to date an FA. It's been my experience, intimately, that a guy that claims to not have a preference doesn't pay attention to my body the same way an FA does. My biggest erogenous zone is my belly and I want a man that loves it as much as I do.

So here are my questions. What are your feelings about the label? and Ladies, would you rather date an FA or someone with no preference?
 

Zandoz

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Like all subjective labels,they're prone to cause as many or more disagreements than avoidance of same. Labels are meaningless without actions to back them up...and with actions they are irrelivant.

No matter what I or anyone else lable me, my deeds tell the truth of what I am. The evil seldom admit it...the good seldom claim it.
 

moonvine

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I was actually thinking about this on the way home. I think the term FA is pretty bizarre. Like if you stick a lump of lard in the middle of the table they will sit there and admire it.

Anyhoo, I don't really care if a person I date is an FA. I really don't ask someone if they are an FA when they ask me out, generally. I do care that they treat me with respect and all that fun stuff.
 

Tina

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I definitely prefer an FA over the average Joe. My body is incredibly soft and it needs to be worshipped, and no one will do that like an FA will. :p

I, too, love to have my belly fondled, and there is this one specific spot that, when touched, drives me wild. Only a guy into fat girls, and bellies, would find that out without me telling him. And while I don't mind telling, I'd rather he love to explore and luxuriate in my soft and silky skin and body enough to find it out on his own. Also, I want a guy who will appreciate my proportions as much as I do, and who won't find the 20 inch difference between my waist and hips, and the jiggle factor, embarrassing. Some would, but screw them. :p I want him to appreciate and lust after my body the same way I appreciate and lust after his. :wubu:

There are also practical matters that are important to me. I don't necessarily want to explain every nuance of why living in, travelling in, dining out in, and shopping in (amongst a whole host of other activities, in bed and out) this fat body is different from the way skinny Susie lives. He just knows, if he is either well-read enough, or experienced enough, the general run-down of what to plan for and what to do and not to do, as pertains to the requirements of properly dating a fat girl. He may not know it all, but he's got a darned good idea, and would never come to pick me up in an MG Midget without a crane, vaseline and a prybar. :p

I hope you don't mind if I move this, Misty, as I think it's more appropriate for the Main Board, rather than Hyde Park.
 

MisticalMisty

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Tina said:
I hope you don't mind if I move this, Misty, as I think it's more appropriate for the Main Board, rather than Hyde Park.
I don't mind at all..the debate got a little heated earlier..lol..so I thought it might get that way again!
 

Tina

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If it does I will move it back, but hopefully it won't. :)
 

MisticalMisty

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Tina said:
There are also practical matters that are important to me. I don't necessarily want to explain every nuance of why living in, travelling in, dining out in, and shopping in (amongst a whole host of other activities, in bed and out) this fat body is different from the way skinny Susie lives. He just knows, if he is either well-read enough, or experienced enough, the general run-down of what to plan for and what to do and not to do, in general. He may not know it all, but he's got a darned good idea, and would never come to pick me up in an MG Midget without a crane, vaseline and a prybar. :p
Exactly. It's definitely more than just a sexual thing. It's an everyday life thing! I need a man that understands that it's not always easy to date a fat girl. He needs to be willing to make accomodations and sometimes sacrifices.

Thank goodness someone understands what I meant. I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way Tina!
 

Tina

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No, Misty, you're not -- lots of us do. And there are many admirers out there who get it, too, and have no problem with accomodating the larger female, and really *want* to do so.

I know that some women don't want an FA, thinking that he should want her for who she is inside. Well, to that I have to say: "duh." But it just doesn't usually work that way out in the real world. I don't sleep around, so any guy I would be dating (before I got together with the darling boy) would also not just be in it for a fling. So, in meeting the usual way, it's the physical that attracts first, visually, and then you get to know the person better and can decide if her/his personality outshines even her/his looks. When it does, you've got a winner. :)
 

MisticalMisty

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Tina said:
No, Misty, you're not -- lots of us do. And there are many admirers out there who get it, too, and have no problem with accomodating the larger female, and really *want* to do so.

I know that some women don't want an FA, thinking that he should want her for who she is inside. Well, to that I have to say: "duh." But it just doesn't usually work that way out in the real world. I don't sleep around, so any guy I would be dating (before I got together with the darling boy) would also not just be in it for a fling. So, in meeting the usual way, it's the physical that attracts first, visually, and then you get to know the person better and can decide if her/his personality outshines even her/his looks. When it does, you've got a winner. :)
That's what I couldn't get people to understand earlier. The initial attraction will always be physical. You can't tell my personality from a distance. I mean..you can tell I'm loud..lol..but not the rest of it. A guy will approach me because he's attracted and then will get to know me.

Now to find my winner ;)
 

Tina

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Yeah, I can never get it that others cannot seem to get it. Looks first, even if it's as simple, yet compelling, as the eyes or the smile; chemistry second or third; personality second or third (sometimes you just know there's chemistry before you've said a dozen words), and compatibility fouth, IMO. But hey, we all have our own way. :D

And he may just find you. ;)
 

Carrie

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Tina said:
I know that some women don't want an FA, thinking that he should want her for who she is inside. Well, to that I have to say: "duh." But it just doesn't usually work that way out in the real world. I don't sleep around, so any guy I would be dating (before I got together with the darling boy) would also not just be in it for a fling. So, in meeting the usual way, it's the physical that attracts first, visually, and then you get to know the person better and can decide if her/his personality outshines even her/his looks. When it does, you've got a winner. :)

So true, Tina. I get irritated by the rationale I seem to encounter so often re. dating non-FA's vs. dating FA's - like it's an either/or situation. Either you can date someone who likes YOU, or you can date someone who's attracted to you based on your physical being. That's narrow-minded and inaccurate. The truth is, we don't have to choose. There are wonderful FA's out there who will love our minds and hearts, AND find us utterly hot. It's an indescribable feeling, when you find it.

I've experienced it, and now I'm not willing to settle for less.
 
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Tina

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Carrie said:
I've experienced it, and now I'm not willing to settle for less.

Same here, doll. I WANT my guy to lust after me. I think some women picture slobbering one-track-minded guys zeroing in on the belly immediately, with no thought or acknowledgement that she has eyes and a brain. And while I'm absolutely certain there are a few of those out there, they are thankfully in the minority.

Now, some guys truly have no preferences, and they can be just fine. They learn the ropes eventually, and also come to appreciate the charms that make tactile explorations with us plush girls such a sensuous experience. Been there, and there's nothing wrong with it. Were I to have fallen love with that kind of man I would have been okay with it.

But I do prefer a man who can go from an animated conversation at a restaurant (where he has made sure there is seating that accomodates my dimensions) -- where he obviously is listening to, and appreciating, what I'm saying -- to, when we're home and I'm walking down the hall and look back, I see him with his head cocked to the side, intently watching my bum. With a smile, of course. :D
 

moonvine

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MisticalMisty said:
Exactly. It's definitely more than just a sexual thing. It's an everyday life thing! I need a man that understands that it's not always easy to date a fat girl. He needs to be willing to make accomodations and sometimes sacrifices.

Thank goodness someone understands what I meant. I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way Tina!

I am a little different, I think. About the only accomodations I can think of that need to be made for me are walking slower (which they would probably need to do anyway since I am short) and putting the armrest up between us in the airplane.

I don't want anyone parking close so I don't have to walk far, or anything like that. I need the exercise. I want to be treated as much like normal as possible.

This is just me, though.
 

SexxyBBW69

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I perfer an fa......... I agree I learned my belly being rubbed is a turn on...boy was I surprised I went from the girl who was so insecure about it somtimes I find myself rubbing it but its not the same as a man loving my belly & yes a man can love your belly as much as he loves you.... but now im single & Im missing the belly rub
 

Santaclear

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I don't know if I've EVER used the term FA in real life but I don't mind it a bit. It's just a describer and like all describing words is vague. I definitely am one but have spent zero energy thinking about the term before now. I understand people not wanting to be labelled (I just was discussing this earlier re: the terms BBW and SSBBW) but to me these terms are not a big deal at all.

moonvine said:
I was actually thinking about this on the way home. I think the term FA is pretty bizarre. Like if you stick a lump of lard in the middle of the table they will sit there and admire it.

Sure, you can think of it that way if you choose (the de-sexualizing of FA-ness), but MOST things can be seen as similarly gross if you try to see them that way.
 

moonvine

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Santaclear said:
Sure, you can think of it that way if you choose (the de-sexualizing of FA-ness), but MOST things can be seen as similarly gross if you try to see them that way.

I think about strange things when I get bored, but I wasn't thinking of it as gross. Just odd. I think it is part of not "getting it" since I don't share the preference.
 

Tina

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moonvine said:
I am a little different, I think. About the only accomodations I can think of that need to be made for me are walking slower (which they would probably need to do anyway since I am short) and putting the armrest up between us in the airplane.

I don't want anyone parking close so I don't have to walk far, or anything like that. I need the exercise. I want to be treated as much like normal as possible.

This is just me, though.

Then that is all you would need and that would be fine. I think, though, the larger a woman has been, and the less she feels connected to the world and what it tells us we should look like, fit into, and require, the more we might appreciate a man who understands. And one who quietly understands because he cares to -- because he wants to make us feel cared for.

The closer one is, and maybe have always been, to fitting into public spaces, the less this sort of thoughtfulness means -- aside from it just not being necessary.

I don't think the term Fat Admirer is a perfect term to describe people who like fat partners. Just as BBW isn't perfect to describe all fat women. To take it so literally certainly does make it a ridiculous term. It's just shorthand, that's all.
 

olivefun

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Sometimes, when I am dating a man who is used to being with slim women, they will suggest restaurants that only have booths (that I cannot fit into) or stuff like that.

I am dating a man who used to live with an asian woman who was skinny.
When I found that out, I felt like dropping him right away.
But realizing how ridiculous that was, I let those feelings pass.

The woman before that was also asian and petite.
It made me think, "what am I doing with this guy?"
Made me think that he couldn't find me AND these smaller women attractive. He must be an FA imposter!
Sigh.

If he is an imposter, he is very convincing, and I am willing to accept this man . It really affected me, knowing the size history of the women that came before me, as much as I hate to admit it.
 

moonvine

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Tina said:
Then that is all you would need and that would be fine. I think, though, the larger a woman has been, and the less she feels connected to the world and what it tells us we should look like, fit into, and require, the more we might appreciate a man who understands. And one who quietly understands because he cares to -- because he wants to make us feel cared for.

The closer one is, and maybe have always been, to fitting into public spaces, the less this sort of thoughtfulness means -- aside from it just not being necessary.

I don't think the term Fat Admirer is a perfect term to describe people who like fat partners. Just as BBW isn't perfect to describe all fat women. To take it so literally certainly does make it a ridiculous term. It's just shorthand, that's all.

Hey Tina,

I think one of my flaws is that I think I am superwoman. I'm probably too independent and insist on doing almost everything for myself, although my best friend did just come over and help me dig a kitty grave because I was emotionally and physically incapable of doing it. Not only has it not rained in 2 months and the ground is as hard as a stone, but I don't own a shovel.

Anyway, for the most part I won't ask anyone for help with anything, so the thought of someone making those sorts of concessions is close to abhorrent to me. I won't even let anyone help me carry the 40 pound boxes of cat litter. I think my first words were "Do by self" or something. This is probably a character flaw and something I should work on.

My thoughts aren't super clear; I've been up almost 24 hours. Up at 5 am to work and can't sleep yet, but the FA thing I was thinking more for someone unfamiliar with the term, what they might picture.
 
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