Feeling conflicted about my attraction

[Dolce]

I know I'll probably be accused of being a hater or misinformed fat phobic, but here goes...

I've ALWAYS been aroused by fat women. During my adolescence I sought out images in the ads for weight loss products in "Lady's Home Journal" and other womens' magazines. When I went to the library, I'd spend hours looking through books about the Circus to see if there were images of fat ladies. To this day, I'm aroused when I see a woman who has gained weight. I married a normal size woman who I love more than anything. During her child bearing years she went up to close to 200 pounds (while pregnant) and was 180 a few years postpartum. At 5'6" tall in a size 18, she was barely a BBW. She has since lost weight and now is in the 135 pound range. Fortunately for me, she has large breasts which never cease to arouse me. We're very happily married.

But I still find huge women attractive. It's an animal attraction. Totally irrational. Yes, there may be "healthy" 400 pound folk out there, but at that weight most humans start to develop diabetes and serum cholesterol levels that can be unhealthy. When mobility begins to be compromised, the danger becomes even more manifest. Imagine not being able to flee a burning building?

Yet, I continue to be aroused. It disturbs me. The thought of seeing a 1000 pound woman naked turns me on. Yet, my rational mind says such a woman would likely be very close to death. It makes me feel like a freak. A monster.

Anyone else feel this way?

I completely understand how you feel. I have had the same desires for as long as I can remember and have wrestled with what they mean. I am plump and have remained plump for many years now, my highest being 230 and my stable weight being around 180. I enjoy exercise and keeping healthy yet I am excited by the thought of being so big I can hardly move.

Have you asked yourself what these desires mean to you? It seems like it frightens and disturbs you that you are attracted to a size that is likely to have health problems but are you attracted to the health problems? Does the idea of someone being so unhealthy appeal to you? If not your feeder tendencies might be coming from a different motivation. I think that the feeders who get off on unhealthiness are more sadistic, dominating, and even necrophilic (meaning love of death) in their sexual desires. But many of us realize the implications of such a size and have no desire to hurt or harm our partners. Perhaps our motivation is more to care and be cared for. To pamper and share intimacy - more nurturing.

I understand how you feel. In real life I do not want to get hugely fat. If I were to get married and have children I would definitely enjoy the added pounds and fantasy play but would still like to stay healthy. Still, I know these desires are never going to go away. They may wax and wane but it is something that is here to stay.

Does your wife know about your desires and if so, what does she think?

 

[blubrluvr]

 

[natepogue]

 

[liz (di-va)]

 

[Dolce]

 

[bigjayne66]

 

[Tau]

 

[Emma]

 

[ThatFatGirl]

 

[LillyBBBW]

 

[iamaJenny]

 

[PeanutButterfly]

 

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[Dromond]

 

[disconnectedsmile]

 

[liz (di-va)]

 

[mossystate]

 

[LillyBBBW]

 

[Dromond]

 

[mossystate]