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Guys Who Like Fat Chicks: Village Voice Article

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Blackjack

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My biggest issue with this article (other than everything awful that I can say about "Lawrence") is that Jen referred to me as "normal".

I think I'm actually offended.
 

penguin

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My biggest issue with this article (other than everything awful that I can say about "Lawrence") is that Jen referred to me as "normal".

I think I'm actually offended.
A girl I worked with dubbed me "Denise the Normal", saying that I was the most normal person she'd ever met. Given that she didn't know me that well, or what I liked to get up to in my spare time, I'm still not sure if it was a good thing or not.
 

Sweetie

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I am surprised no one has yet posted up this article that prominently featured several (active and inactive) members of the Dimensions community. It's in the Village Voice and called "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks."

Overall I really liked it - it described some of the realities of men liking and dating fat women in straightforward ways without a lot of apology or defensiveness. It did have the requisite paragraph(s) about fat=unhealthy, but that was just a tiny part of a larger very positive article.

It was definitely from a man's perspective most of the way through and presenting primarily the voices of men (though some women's experiences were shared too), which I can imagine some women might take issue with; but that was really the point of it, in my view - specifically to take steps to de-stigmatize men's attraction to fat women and to speak to other men about it. So I didn't take issue with that.
I love this article and I soooo appreciate Dims. I feel like someone who just found out that pigs really do fly. Its so awesome to finally hear real men explain just how attracted they can be to a big girl. The remarks reverberated deep down in my soul. Thanks so much for sharing this article. :)
 

rg770Ibanez

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This article seems pretty positive. I liked it for the most part. I didn't really like how "Lawrence" kept his identity hidden because he doesn't want to be pinned questions about his preference when he becomes a big time producer. I mean wouldn't him saying "I like chubby/fat girls" have an overall positive influence in general rather than a negative one on his career?
 

joswitch

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For me, this is currently the most awesome thing on the Internet.

^That is a verrreh cool photo! :)

The article was great. As Les said - nice to see a mainstream paper give the "freakshow" the bum's rush for a change!
 

russianrobot

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This article seems pretty positive. I liked it for the most part. I didn't really like how "Lawrence" kept his identity hidden because he doesn't want to be pinned questions about his preference when he becomes a big time producer. I mean wouldn't him saying "I like chubby/fat girls" have an overall positive influence in general rather than a negative one on his career?
i agree, it seemed kinda of a shaky reason, the whole ‘record producer’ rational

in fact it actually sounded like something a politician would say.

it should be very easy to admit whether your seeking fame or living a normal life, that you love beautiful women of size, sexy curvy goddess who captivated most of us from our youth.

it’s not like your sniffing meth of whores’ ass in Yuma or something to that effect

i dunno call me a realist
 

Alzison

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Hi so now that I've had a day to mull this article over, I hope you guys can indulge a still-newcomer and talk to me about this. I *really* wanted to like this article. I really did. Not just because I obviously have no issues with FA's and also know people who were involved, but because, as a concept, using a big publication like this to show how men who like fat chicks can be normal, awesome guys and that it is OK to have a preference for the fatties could have been really really great.

But for me, the article just really didn't work. The FA's involved were portrayed as some sort of anti-heroes. They sounded arrogent, self-involved, and some of the quotes were just flat out ridiculous. I chalk this up to editing rather than the participants, to be clear. And, though the article was about FA's, to have those involved basically put across in this light of "wow, look at all the BS these amazing and noble guys have to put up with for liking fatties" was just tedious and annoying. To not address, even in a single sentence, that the response these FA's get from dating fat women is based on societal intolerance of the WOMEN themselves leaves this awkward hole in the content. The FA's are portrayed as idols who step in the line of fire of their fat counterparts, then act indignant and defensive when they get shot, but never admit or acknowledge that they were merely involved in friendly fire that really stems back to the fat women themselves. For this reason, and because the girlfriends were barely given a voice, and "Caroline" was shown as more of a "wow! 500 lbs and she can get a date! that is craaazy, right?", I felt like the women were totally objectified and dehumanized. Some sort of damsel in distress caricature crap, some charity case that these noble gentlemen are amazing enough to be into.

Beyond that, the tone and pacing was just all off for me. It was too all over the place, too cavalier. The author deliberately avoided portraying these men as fetishists, but, to me, it is clear that she still thinks (and conveyed) that the concept of men loving fat women is weird and not normal, even if she admits that it happens frequently.

*to be clear, I don't know Dan, but I have read his blog and Hairpin articles, and I found everything he has written to be incredibly well-done, thoughtful, honest, useful, and positive. I respect his involvement in this piece and his reference to liking fat women as being a preference, like any other (and therefore pushing this to the normative). To me, the issue is with the writing/editing in this article not the men themselves.

It seems like I'm the only one who got this from the article, so it could just be my foggy reading glasses. My foggy invisible reading glasses.
 

Wild Zero

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Hi so now that I've had a day to mull this article over, I hope you guys can indulge a still-newcomer and talk to me about this. I *really* wanted to like this article. I really did. Not just because I obviously have no issues with FA's and also know people who were involved, but because, as a concept, using a big publication like this to show how men who like fat chicks can be normal, awesome guys and that it is OK to have a preference for the fatties could have been really really great.

But for me, the article just really didn't work. The FA's involved were portrayed as some sort of anti-heroes. They sounded arrogent, self-involved, and some of the quotes were just flat out ridiculous. I chalk this up to editing rather than the participants, to be clear. And, though the article was about FA's, to have those involved basically put across in this light of "wow, look at all the BS these amazing and noble guys have to put up with for liking fatties" was just tedious and annoying. To not address, even in a single sentence, that the response these FA's get from dating fat women is based on societal intolerance of the WOMEN themselves leaves this awkward hole in the content. The FA's are portrayed as idols who step in the line of fire of their fat counterparts, then act indignant and defensive when they get shot, but never admit or acknowledge that they were merely involved in friendly fire that really stems back to the fat women themselves. For this reason, and because the girlfriends were barely given a voice, and "Caroline" was shown as more of a "wow! 500 lbs and she can get a date! that is craaazy, right?", I felt like the women were totally objectified and dehumanized. Some sort of damsel in distress caricature crap, some charity case that these noble gentlemen are amazing enough to be into.

Beyond that, the tone and pacing was just all off for me. It was too all over the place, too cavalier. The author deliberately avoided portraying these men as fetishists, but, to me, it is clear that she still thinks (and conveyed) that the concept of men loving fat women is weird and not normal, even if she admits that it happens frequently.

*to be clear, I don't know Dan, but I have read his blog and Hairpin articles, and I found everything he has written to be incredibly well-done, thoughtful, honest, useful, and positive. I respect his involvement in this piece and his reference to liking fat women as being a preference, like any other (and therefore pushing this to the normative). To me, the issue is with the writing/editing in this article not the men themselves.

It seems like I'm the only one who got this from the article, so it could just be my foggy reading glasses. My foggy invisible reading glasses.
As someone who was interviewed for the article I feel pretty much exactly as you do on the piece.
 

mithrandirjn

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A few thoughts on it:

-In a way, it was a positive that the guys shown in this story weren't portrayed as over-the-top romantics, as totally 100% nice guys, etc: instead, they were being treated as they were, younger guys who aren't all looking for long term relationships, who have preferences that differ from what's considered "the norm".

What's positive about that is that these guys aren't being depicted as "looking beyond a person's appearance": no, they find fat women attractive, period, and want to date them, hit on them, etc., in the same way guys who prefer skinny women do with their preferred body types.

In this way, the message becomes clear, that these are normal (using the term relatively, of course) men, they have their strengths and flaws, and they just happen to like bigger women. I think that sends a better message when it comes to combating a stigma, to be honest.

-I don't really mind the guy using a pseudonym. I'll be honest, if I was being interviewed concerning anything about my sexuality, I'd have to give it a thought to decide if I wanted to put my full name on it. There's certain things that do follow you around in life, and even though people would be stupid to make a big deal out of something like "what body type do you prefer?", that wouldn't stop them from doing it.

-No problem from me with the references to stuff said by some doctors. The article cited a doctor (admittedly a FA, himself) saying that fat isn't the deciding factor in a person's health, but I don't think it's unfair to cover what's generally accepted about size in the health community.

-Not digging the whole "bisizual" or whatever label, or the idea that it's somehow an unacceptable feeling in a FA. Sorry, but most of the women I've have the deepest romantic feelings for in my life have been anywhere from thin-yet-curvy to downright small/skinny. That said, I never deny that I really, really appreciate curvy women (what good Italian boy doesn't?), and I've spent time with and really enjoyed dating a number of bigger women, as well.

But that's just me, and I don't think there's anything weird about that, just as I can't judge a guy who only finds women of a certain size, by they small or large or in between, attractive. You're wired the way you're wired, that's just how it is, and I know myself, and know that while curves often jump out at me first, I can still fully appreciate a good looking thin girl and find her incredibly attractive.
 

russianrobot

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Hi so now that I've had a day to mull this article over, I hope you guys can indulge a still-newcomer and talk to me about this. I *really* wanted to like this article. I really did. Not just because I obviously have no issues with FA's and also know people who were involved, but because, as a concept, using a big publication like this to show how men who like fat chicks can be normal, awesome guys and that it is OK to have a preference for the fatties could have been really really great.

But for me, the article just really didn't work. The FA's involved were portrayed as some sort of anti-heroes. They sounded arrogent, self-involved, and some of the quotes were just flat out ridiculous. I chalk this up to editing rather than the participants, to be clear. And, though the article was about FA's, to have those involved basically put across in this light of "wow, look at all the BS these amazing and noble guys have to put up with for liking fatties" was just tedious and annoying. To not address, even in a single sentence, that the response these FA's get from dating fat women is based on societal intolerance of the WOMEN themselves leaves this awkward hole in the content. The FA's are portrayed as idols who step in the line of fire of their fat counterparts, then act indignant and defensive when they get shot, but never admit or acknowledge that they were merely involved in friendly fire that really stems back to the fat women themselves. For this reason, and because the girlfriends were barely given a voice, and "Caroline" was shown as more of a "wow! 500 lbs and she can get a date! that is craaazy, right?", I felt like the women were totally objectified and dehumanized. Some sort of damsel in distress caricature crap, some charity case that these noble gentlemen are amazing enough to be into.

Beyond that, the tone and pacing was just all off for me. It was too all over the place, too cavalier. The author deliberately avoided portraying these men as fetishists, but, to me, it is clear that she still thinks (and conveyed) that the concept of men loving fat women is weird and not normal, even if she admits that it happens frequently.

*to be clear, I don't know Dan, but I have read his blog and Hairpin articles, and I found everything he has written to be incredibly well-done, thoughtful, honest, useful, and positive. I respect his involvement in this piece and his reference to liking fat women as being a preference, like any other (and therefore pushing this to the normative). To me, the issue is with the writing/editing in this article not the men themselves.

It seems like I'm the only one who got this from the article, so it could just be my foggy reading glasses. My foggy invisible reading glasses.

your assessment on the article was like a carpenter hitting the head of a nail. direct & hard as hell. great post!
 

Alzison

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As someone who was interviewed for the article I feel pretty much exactly as you do on the piece.
Were you edited a lot, do you think? I've heard that a lot was pared down to appear sensationalist.

your assessment on the article was like a carpenter hitting the head of a nail. direct & hard as hell. great post!
that's what she said. I mean thanks! :)
 

malami

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I found this forum through that article! I NEVER knew FA exist, I mean I knew that there are people who have their preferences but it really opened my eyes to the whole FA & BBW/SSBBWs. It kind of gave me hope that hey there are guys who would be into me and I would be into them as well, I just haven't found them:batting:
 

JMNYC

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As someone who was interviewed for the article I feel pretty much exactly as you do on the piece.

As someone who was also interviewed for the article, I do, too. Let's just say it's not because of ageism that no one older than 28 is represented.
 

Ernest Nagel

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Y'know, I quit trying to explain or justify my preference to anyone decades ago. I liked the article but I doubt it will change any minds or convince any closeteers to come out. My biggest problem with it is that it needed to be written in the first place. How do you write a good article about an issue that shouldn't ever have to be addressed though?

We are what we are, we like what we like. When guys are expected to defend their predilections for blondes, boobs or petite girls I'll start trying to dissect what I like about SS/BBW. I don't expect to get very far though. An out FA is someone who knows societal concerns and judgmental aesthetics shouldn't keep him from having what he wants. I'm neither proud nor ashamed of my preference so there's nothing for me to rationalize or think about. It's just what's so. It's not like I'm trying to order pizza in a Chinese restaurant; more like I'm in a steakhouse and I want THE BIG ONE! Would anyone question that choice?
 

Dr. Feelgood

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Well, I would, Ernest, but then I'm a vegetarian. Seriously, I think your point is important. I can't speak for anyone else, but when I have felt the need to defend a choice or an action of mine, the person I was really trying to convince has always been myself.
 
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