AtlantisAK
Well-Known Member
I am currently interested in someone and he's -very- interested in me on every level...but there is one thing that's a snag. My weight. He has been around me and tried to look past it and even seemed to get used to it and accept it, but suddenly there's a problem with it. He dragged his feet about making our relationship official, finding a few excuses until I approached him about it for his decision. Now we have just agreed that we are just friends and he wants me to help him work on his issues and see where things go. I made it clear that I'm opening myself up to the dating scene. It upsets him to think of letting me go, and vice versa. It's a tough situation. But he, again, said he wants to try and learn to accept or look past my weight.
Bit of information:
He has his own weight issues, viewing himself as underweight (6'3 and about 180lbs) when he is just fine in my eyes. He wants to be 'normal', which is 15lbs more but he has problems keeping the weight and when he gets sick, he loses weight and gets weak. He hates it.
He, from what I can gather, also views excessive weight as a death sentence. I don't know where he gets the idea from, but it's not true. My doctors always declare me extremely healthy for my size (and I'm not even that big at a size 16-18!!). A 'reflexologist' as he called himself, recently took a mere visual glance at me and told my love interest that I had thyroid problems, high cholesterol, high blood sugar, diabetes, etc and that I need to lay off the fried foods, sweets, pastas, etc etc. That upset my love interest and set this issue off. Funny thing is, I don't eat a lot of meat, I don't eat a lot of pastas or fried foods or sweets and candies. I am very active, eat healthy, watch myself and so on...and my love interest is well aware of this.
Are there any suggestions as to how I can help him get past his own weight issues or accept me as I am currently? We both want this to work and he is trying his damndest, but we are both kind of stuck.
And please, I don't want to hear 'just dump the a-hole'. I won't abandon him and be stupid about this because he IS trying. This is something I want to resolve or improve or help him with.
Bit of information:
He has his own weight issues, viewing himself as underweight (6'3 and about 180lbs) when he is just fine in my eyes. He wants to be 'normal', which is 15lbs more but he has problems keeping the weight and when he gets sick, he loses weight and gets weak. He hates it.
He, from what I can gather, also views excessive weight as a death sentence. I don't know where he gets the idea from, but it's not true. My doctors always declare me extremely healthy for my size (and I'm not even that big at a size 16-18!!). A 'reflexologist' as he called himself, recently took a mere visual glance at me and told my love interest that I had thyroid problems, high cholesterol, high blood sugar, diabetes, etc and that I need to lay off the fried foods, sweets, pastas, etc etc. That upset my love interest and set this issue off. Funny thing is, I don't eat a lot of meat, I don't eat a lot of pastas or fried foods or sweets and candies. I am very active, eat healthy, watch myself and so on...and my love interest is well aware of this.
Are there any suggestions as to how I can help him get past his own weight issues or accept me as I am currently? We both want this to work and he is trying his damndest, but we are both kind of stuck.
And please, I don't want to hear 'just dump the a-hole'. I won't abandon him and be stupid about this because he IS trying. This is something I want to resolve or improve or help him with.
