Ample Pie
Fattitude Problem
So, as some here may or may not know, I'm in a relationship. A pretty serious one, actually, with someone who was my best friend for two years before we decided to take the big risk.
The thing is...he's straight. Like. straight straight.
Like, Christian Youth Minister, no kinks, straight.
Not narrow. Just really really really straight.
Really. really. really. straight.
And I am not. Hell, I'm not even 100 percent sold on my gender identity.
Does he know this? Of course
But...I think I'm having a Chasing Amy moment. I never ever saw myself with the straightest man on earth, but here I am...and I'm happy and I know that is what counts, but it's strange. Like I'm no longer in the queer club or something.
And, honestly, I think I feel really guilty that the people I love--so many of them anyway--who are not straight or in "straight" relationships still have to struggle just to be in those relationships, just to effing exist, and I have found my happiness in a relationship that will let me "pass" even though that isn't what I wanted or what I was seeking.
Not sure how much sense any of this makes....and really not sure how to deal with it.
The thing is...he's straight. Like. straight straight.
Like, Christian Youth Minister, no kinks, straight.
Not narrow. Just really really really straight.
Really. really. really. straight.
And I am not. Hell, I'm not even 100 percent sold on my gender identity.
Does he know this? Of course
But...I think I'm having a Chasing Amy moment. I never ever saw myself with the straightest man on earth, but here I am...and I'm happy and I know that is what counts, but it's strange. Like I'm no longer in the queer club or something.
And, honestly, I think I feel really guilty that the people I love--so many of them anyway--who are not straight or in "straight" relationships still have to struggle just to be in those relationships, just to effing exist, and I have found my happiness in a relationship that will let me "pass" even though that isn't what I wanted or what I was seeking.
Not sure how much sense any of this makes....and really not sure how to deal with it.
