Update:
Despite whatever advice I received, I planned to keep this to myself.
But, in true "me" fashion, it ended up spilling out... And at a terrible time. I talked to him about it via text, while I was drunk and he (unknown to either of us at the time) was coming down with the flu.
I referenced that he said he wanted to lose weight and "obviously" I wouldn't prefer that... And I vaguely derided this fetish I have. He said if he wanted to lose weight he would because bodily autonomy etc... I said "Of course". The conversation devolved into him recognising my attraction was "conflicted" and me saying it was too hard for me to explain.
I couldn't even look back at the conversation to remind me what was said. I just had to wait a week to see him again and see what would happen.
He didn't mention it. I didn't mention it. But here's the thing...
I had struggled with whether to bring it up to him at all. I thought the only (selfish) reason to do so would be to get some reassurance.
What actually happened was... I seem to have absolved myself of some concern.
Between the conversation and seeing him, I realised that one part of my discomfort was in wondering why he was nonchalant. If I were changing my whole-body appearance, I would definitely worry about how that would be received. Not even out of concern for my partner, but about how the effect on them might affect me. *That's* what was weirding me out.
So now, having shared without receiving reassurances, I feel like I can relax. Like this isn't solely something *I* have to worry about. He knows about it. If he really plans to lose weight, he should worry about it. If my attraction changes? That's for me to deal with. How it affects our relationship? That's for each of us to deal with in our own way. Yet he isn't thinking about it. So I won't either.
I hope that makes sense.
Despite whatever advice I received, I planned to keep this to myself.
But, in true "me" fashion, it ended up spilling out... And at a terrible time. I talked to him about it via text, while I was drunk and he (unknown to either of us at the time) was coming down with the flu.
I referenced that he said he wanted to lose weight and "obviously" I wouldn't prefer that... And I vaguely derided this fetish I have. He said if he wanted to lose weight he would because bodily autonomy etc... I said "Of course". The conversation devolved into him recognising my attraction was "conflicted" and me saying it was too hard for me to explain.
I couldn't even look back at the conversation to remind me what was said. I just had to wait a week to see him again and see what would happen.
He didn't mention it. I didn't mention it. But here's the thing...
I had struggled with whether to bring it up to him at all. I thought the only (selfish) reason to do so would be to get some reassurance.
What actually happened was... I seem to have absolved myself of some concern.
Between the conversation and seeing him, I realised that one part of my discomfort was in wondering why he was nonchalant. If I were changing my whole-body appearance, I would definitely worry about how that would be received. Not even out of concern for my partner, but about how the effect on them might affect me. *That's* what was weirding me out.
So now, having shared without receiving reassurances, I feel like I can relax. Like this isn't solely something *I* have to worry about. He knows about it. If he really plans to lose weight, he should worry about it. If my attraction changes? That's for me to deal with. How it affects our relationship? That's for each of us to deal with in our own way. Yet he isn't thinking about it. So I won't either.
I hope that makes sense.