I just feel like posting because it helps to sort out some thoughts. I'll just warn you now that it's a long personal story.
Basically, I used to be fairly closeted and/or in denial about my preferences. I grew up thinking I was cool, and fat girls weren't. Both these things are subjective illusions that were quite limiting but I lived as though they were facts.
When I was about 20 or so some friends found some of my bbw pornography. They made fun of me, I was mortified, and it sucked. I liked fat girls, but I didn't accept this part of myself. I didn't own it, and thus I was vulnerable to outer attacks.
However, I think everyone gets to a point where the pain of being in the closet is just too great. You just reach that point where you say to yourself, "F@ck this. This is my life and I'm going to live it." It doesn't happen overnight, but gradually you just become more and more empowered. It's a wondeful feeling, like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
The really funny thing, though, is that the outer world reflects your inner change. And then I came across this amazing quote:
"Don't we live in the same objective world?" a disciple once asked his guru. "Yes," his master replied, "But you see yourself in the world, I see the world in myself. This minor perceptual shift makes all the difference between freedom and bondage."
I've read a lot of similar stories, but I just wanted to add my own. My friends know, and my myspace profile says so as well, and I just can't imagine it any other way.
Basically, I used to be fairly closeted and/or in denial about my preferences. I grew up thinking I was cool, and fat girls weren't. Both these things are subjective illusions that were quite limiting but I lived as though they were facts.
When I was about 20 or so some friends found some of my bbw pornography. They made fun of me, I was mortified, and it sucked. I liked fat girls, but I didn't accept this part of myself. I didn't own it, and thus I was vulnerable to outer attacks.
However, I think everyone gets to a point where the pain of being in the closet is just too great. You just reach that point where you say to yourself, "F@ck this. This is my life and I'm going to live it." It doesn't happen overnight, but gradually you just become more and more empowered. It's a wondeful feeling, like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
The really funny thing, though, is that the outer world reflects your inner change. And then I came across this amazing quote:
"Don't we live in the same objective world?" a disciple once asked his guru. "Yes," his master replied, "But you see yourself in the world, I see the world in myself. This minor perceptual shift makes all the difference between freedom and bondage."
I've read a lot of similar stories, but I just wanted to add my own. My friends know, and my myspace profile says so as well, and I just can't imagine it any other way.
