Hes 6 tall and weighs 260 pounds, for a BMI of 35.3. Several doctors have told him he really needs to lose weight. He has high blood pressure and cholesterol and takes medications for both. He used to run a few miles most days but cant anymore due to knee problems. One doctor told him it looks like he may have had one or more mild heart attacks. His health isnt that bad compared to many other obese people, especially those in their late 60s.
But hes spent his lifetime ridiculing fat people, especially women, having the attitude that there is just no excuse for the lack of self-control and gluttony which causes it. Some things hes done:
After my mother bore his four children, getting up to 375 pounds in the process, he demanded she get thin or he would divorce her. She crash-dieted into the low 100s within a year, and then he dumped her anyway. He complained that her body still disgusted him, with saggy, loose skin, stretch marks and just wasnt shaped right to begin with, that her butt, instead of being firm and round like men want, just sort of hangs there and that she had the nerve to want him to hold and cuddle with her but he couldnt stand to touch her. This kind of stuff he repeatedly told me from the time I was about 8 (they divorced when I was 6). I dont remember him ever mentioning anything about being concerned for her health, just disgusted by her appearance. We were out driving by a cow pasture and he said You almost never see a cow doing anything but eating, except once in awhile laying down -- like your mother.
Constantly made disparaging comments about fat people whenever he saw one, in public or on TV, when hed change the channel with a shudder. He especially hated the show Gimme a Break! with Nell Carter, saying he couldnt imagine why anyone would want to watch that fat, disgusting slob waddle around. Nothing about her acting abilities, just her appearance.
When I started to get a little chubby around 5th-6th grade, he frequently demanded that I lose weight. My mother had custody and I always dreaded visiting him because hed immediately say something about how I looked like Id not only not lost, but gained since the last time I saw him, whether I had or not, and tried to monitor and limit my every bite of food while I was with him. He told me nobody who was any good would want to date me if I wasnt thin, and that I needed to get it under control then while I was young so I wouldnt wind up like my mother. This caused me to become obsessed with my weight at an early age, I went on dangerous starvation diets and got into extreme exercise, running for miles multiple times per day. My menstrual cycles stopped and my grades dropped because I wasnt getting enough nourishment to concentrate on anything except the weight obsession. My life revolved around calories consumed and expended, weighing and measuring, and I always thought I was disgustingly fat no matter how thin I got. I was hospitalized for anorexia nervosa and associated psychological problems at 13. My father never grasped the seriousness of my condition; his only concern with the hospitalization was that he hoped it wouldnt influence me to get fat again and he praised my emaciated appearance. Shortly after being released from the hospital I started getting into marijuana and other drugs, and my eating issues took a back seat to partying but they never went away. Fortunately I moved out at 15 and then didnt have his influence making them worse anymore. Many years later after we started communicating again he told me he was sure glad I wasn't a "fatass" anymore. I told him I didn't want to hear another comment about my weight, positive or negative, or I'd never speak to him again.
I dont believe in karma and dont want anything bad to happen to my father, but cant help finding his current situation a little humorous. At least he doesnt have people he loves rejecting him for his fatness. Hes much fatter than either my mother or I now. My mother has had WLS at least twice, which has caused her many other health problems, but is only slightly overweight now, and I control my weight through bulimia. I dont purge though, hate vomiting, but just fast and exercise a lot to make up for binges. I cant imagine ever being able to adopt normal eating habits because theyve been messed up for so long its all I know. My father has never even attempted a diet. A couple of years ago he bought the South Beach diet book but never started it. For several months after he told me he bought it I periodically asked him how it was going until he finally told me hed let me know when and if he started it. Hahaha. It sucks to be hassled about your weight and eating habits doesnt it?
I just wanted to share this rambling story with some people who might understand.
But hes spent his lifetime ridiculing fat people, especially women, having the attitude that there is just no excuse for the lack of self-control and gluttony which causes it. Some things hes done:
After my mother bore his four children, getting up to 375 pounds in the process, he demanded she get thin or he would divorce her. She crash-dieted into the low 100s within a year, and then he dumped her anyway. He complained that her body still disgusted him, with saggy, loose skin, stretch marks and just wasnt shaped right to begin with, that her butt, instead of being firm and round like men want, just sort of hangs there and that she had the nerve to want him to hold and cuddle with her but he couldnt stand to touch her. This kind of stuff he repeatedly told me from the time I was about 8 (they divorced when I was 6). I dont remember him ever mentioning anything about being concerned for her health, just disgusted by her appearance. We were out driving by a cow pasture and he said You almost never see a cow doing anything but eating, except once in awhile laying down -- like your mother.
Constantly made disparaging comments about fat people whenever he saw one, in public or on TV, when hed change the channel with a shudder. He especially hated the show Gimme a Break! with Nell Carter, saying he couldnt imagine why anyone would want to watch that fat, disgusting slob waddle around. Nothing about her acting abilities, just her appearance.
When I started to get a little chubby around 5th-6th grade, he frequently demanded that I lose weight. My mother had custody and I always dreaded visiting him because hed immediately say something about how I looked like Id not only not lost, but gained since the last time I saw him, whether I had or not, and tried to monitor and limit my every bite of food while I was with him. He told me nobody who was any good would want to date me if I wasnt thin, and that I needed to get it under control then while I was young so I wouldnt wind up like my mother. This caused me to become obsessed with my weight at an early age, I went on dangerous starvation diets and got into extreme exercise, running for miles multiple times per day. My menstrual cycles stopped and my grades dropped because I wasnt getting enough nourishment to concentrate on anything except the weight obsession. My life revolved around calories consumed and expended, weighing and measuring, and I always thought I was disgustingly fat no matter how thin I got. I was hospitalized for anorexia nervosa and associated psychological problems at 13. My father never grasped the seriousness of my condition; his only concern with the hospitalization was that he hoped it wouldnt influence me to get fat again and he praised my emaciated appearance. Shortly after being released from the hospital I started getting into marijuana and other drugs, and my eating issues took a back seat to partying but they never went away. Fortunately I moved out at 15 and then didnt have his influence making them worse anymore. Many years later after we started communicating again he told me he was sure glad I wasn't a "fatass" anymore. I told him I didn't want to hear another comment about my weight, positive or negative, or I'd never speak to him again.
I dont believe in karma and dont want anything bad to happen to my father, but cant help finding his current situation a little humorous. At least he doesnt have people he loves rejecting him for his fatness. Hes much fatter than either my mother or I now. My mother has had WLS at least twice, which has caused her many other health problems, but is only slightly overweight now, and I control my weight through bulimia. I dont purge though, hate vomiting, but just fast and exercise a lot to make up for binges. I cant imagine ever being able to adopt normal eating habits because theyve been messed up for so long its all I know. My father has never even attempted a diet. A couple of years ago he bought the South Beach diet book but never started it. For several months after he told me he bought it I periodically asked him how it was going until he finally told me hed let me know when and if he started it. Hahaha. It sucks to be hassled about your weight and eating habits doesnt it?
I just wanted to share this rambling story with some people who might understand.
