"My Husband Helped Me Love My 'Super-Fat' Body" - An another Barcroft mini-documentary

Discussion in 'Fat in the Media' started by John Smith, May 29, 2019.

  1. May 29, 2019 #1

    John Smith

    John Smith

    John Smith

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2015
    Messages:
    367
    Likes Received:
    77
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Laval, QC (Canada)
  2. May 29, 2019 #2

    swamptoad

    swamptoad

    swamptoad

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    12,647
    Likes Received:
    775
    Location:
    , Male
    There's also this one from BarCroft called Our ‘Mixed Weight’ Relationship Is Not A Fetish | EXTREME LOVE

     
  3. May 29, 2019 #3

    BigElectricKat

    BigElectricKat

    BigElectricKat

    Are you intelligent? Staff Member Global Moderator

    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Messages:
    1,251
    Likes Received:
    1,131
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    St Louis Area
    This is an absolutely amazing and enlightening piece.
     
    Aqw and swamptoad like this.
  4. May 29, 2019 #4

    waldo

    waldo

    waldo

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2006
    Messages:
    388
    Likes Received:
    109
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    usa
    Very interesting. She sounds like she is German or something - can anyone identify that accent?

    It seems at one point he states "I would say I am generally attracted to larger women, I am attracted to people that I love really." I wonder if he meant to say "I WOULDN'T say I am generally attracted to larger women". Or maybe he just means to say he is attracted to and loves a larger woman. It is a bit ambiguous from what he says, BUT his actions are obvious. No guy would have gone for a big fat gal like that; had he not been attracted to her, especially considering how they met and the long distance relationship that ensued. Regardless, kudos to both of them and best wishes for a happy life together.
     
    Funtastic curves and swamptoad like this.
  5. May 29, 2019 #5

    waldo

    waldo

    waldo

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2006
    Messages:
    388
    Likes Received:
    109
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    usa
    I like this guy because he makes it clear about his 'preference' for fat women. Also, it is interesting to hear about his experience with losing friends after 'coming out as an FA' in his late teen years. We have seen a lot of poo-pooing about the fears of FAs for how they will be judged by friends, family and others, but this guy gives an example of the harsh reality. However, I agree with the argument that those friends that would distance from him over his FA-ness are not worth keeping anyway. You got to be true to yourself: guys 'in the closet' out there: trust me it is so worth it to just be yourself for all the world to see.

    Only issue I see with this couple is being together since 2006 and appears to be no kids. I know fat women can have fertility issues (my own fat wife had that and required special hormone supplements to get and stay pregnant). Then again maybe it is a decision on their part , but regardless , not having kids is detrimental to the argument that this is only a slightly out of the mainstream couple.
     
    Aqw, Funtastic curves and swamptoad like this.
  6. May 29, 2019 #6

    John Smith

    John Smith

    John Smith

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2015
    Messages:
    367
    Likes Received:
    77
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Laval, QC (Canada)
    Well, for my case I'm not a closeted F.A. . I'm not even an F.A. at all, I just enjoy to frequent women from different shapes and backgrounds with a fair inclination for the bigger size.

    If someone got an issue about my relations, I don't give a care. If that one person consider it is worth to unfriend me because of it, then we never haven't been friends.
     
    Funtastic curves likes this.
  7. May 31, 2019 #7

    loopytheone

    loopytheone

    loopytheone

    Staff Member Administrator Global Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2012
    Messages:
    4,229
    Likes Received:
    1,144
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    England
    I get what you are saying, but bear in mind that these are people living their lives, they don't exist to be a political/social statement. If they can't or don't want to have kids, they aren't obligated to do so because it would 'look more mainstream', so to speak.
     
    Unbasher, AmyJo1976, waldo and 3 others like this.
  8. May 31, 2019 #8

    waldo

    waldo

    waldo

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2006
    Messages:
    388
    Likes Received:
    109
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    usa
    Yeah I am not criticizing any particular couple for not having kids although I think too many people are opting out to the point we are having declining population rates. Oh this could get political in a hurry ;) And certainly if they can't due to some fertility or other issue, that is a whole other story. Just pointing out that in a 'perfect world' the couple to profile if you wanted to make FA / fat woman marriage look 'normal ' would probably have kids. That's not for me but how I surmise the average objective onlooker might respond. And it's not like you don't see many many fat young women with young kids out there these days. So I guess there's that.
     
  9. May 31, 2019 #9

    AmyJo1976

    AmyJo1976

    AmyJo1976

    SSBBW & FFA

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2011
    Messages:
    2,322
    Likes Received:
    894
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    I think that a lot of us just run out of time, sadly. We spend most of our lives trying to find that someone that we want to have kids with, or that perfect situation to do so. In a lot of cases, my. own included, when it happens, it's too late in life. They say it's a gamble after 30 and even more so after 40. On top of that, the desire to have children has faded. At 42 I am more focused on what I want in life and what makes me happy, rather than having children.
     
    traceg, DragonFly, swamptoad and 5 others like this.
  10. Jun 1, 2019 #10

    waldo

    waldo

    waldo

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2006
    Messages:
    388
    Likes Received:
    109
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    usa
    Thanks for adding your thoughts.

    I am sincerely apologetic if I insulted you or anyone else to which this issue may apply. It was just something that came to my analytical mind in watching the video. As I said , I just have a focus on wishing the FA 'preference' to be 'mainstreamed' and in the process I may overlook other issues.
     
    DragonFly, Blockierer and AmyJo1976 like this.
  11. Jun 1, 2019 #11

    BHM4SSBBWs

    BHM4SSBBWs

    BHM4SSBBWs

    com més gras millor

    Joined:
    May 29, 2018
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Catalunya, 1971.
    Si de debò els autors d'aquest reportatge volguessin la paritat amb les sexualitats lliures: primerers, baroners, doners, jovencers; no l'inclourien en una sèrie que s'anomena 'estimar a l'extrem'. Tampoc insultarien amb l'adverbi hiperbòlic 'vertaderament' ('truly') ni amb el cacofemisme 'corbes' en comptes de 'greix' o 'grassesa': "A ’SUPER-FAT' woman has learnt to love her curves." Tampoc banalitzarien el sexisme del sogre. (les majúscules són llurs)
    If the authors of this report truly wanted parity with free sexualities: *thin-admirers, *male-admirers, *female-admirers, *young-admirers; they would not include the *fat-admirers in a serie that is called 'Extreme love'. Nor would they insult with the hyperbolic adverb 'truly' ('true') or with *cacophomism 'curves' instead of 'fatness': "A ’SUPER-FAT' woman has learnt to love her curves." Nor would they banalize the sexism of the father-in-law. (the capitals are theirs)

    Ni d'un home gras en dirien 'super gras': "My Husband helped me love my 'super-fat' body". Cap mascle, pel sol fet de ser-ho, que festegi amb un baroner no es qualfica de 'supermascle'; ni cap femell, de 'superfemell'; ni cap aufil de 'superprim', llevat que ho sigui (molt) més que l'Esvelt. Val a dir, que un jove potser sí que s'ho farà dir, per gendrisme.
    Neither a fat man would be called 'super-fat': "My Husband helped me love my 'super-fat' body. No male, due to the fact of being it, who dates with a *male-admirer is not described as 'super-male'; nor any female, as 'super-female'; Neither *thinman as 'super-thin', unless he is (much) thinner than *Slimman. (it must be said that a young one maybe say so about himself, by *young-sexism.)

    Tanmateix un gran nombre dels 2551 comentaris (1.6.2019_ds) són esveltistes i ens injurien, amb més o menys concessions, els grassoners de fetitxistes.
    No doubt / Naturally, a large number of 2551 comments (1.6.2019_Des) are (thin)sexist/*fatphobics and injure us, we *fat-admirers, as fetishist. They do it with more or less concessions.

    Per exemple: "I’m glad she’s more confident now, but she needs to make some serious lifestyle changes and if he truly loves her he will help her." (batman likes pizza)
    La meva resposta: "Necessitem tots plegats fer del món com més gras més de tots; i on no hi tinguin cabuda els teus comentaris esvelstistes. Que se't morin de vergonya a la boca mateix abans d'escupir-los."
    My answer. "We all need to make the fatter the better our planet / the more fatter the more common/shared; and where your sexist comments do not fit. Your comments would die of shame in your mouth before spitting them."

    "Sorry but if he loves you he would ultimately want you healthy" (Sarah S.)
    La meva contesta: "Com que té la normalitat de no ser esveltista, també la te de poder festejar amb morb. Cosa que la desgraciadesa de ser esveltistes us impedeix a sexistes com tu."
    My answer: " Because he enjoy the normality of not being (thin)sexist/*fatphobic, also the normality to date *fatmen. Which by unpleasantness of being sexist/*fatphobic is impedee/obstructed to people like you."

    "It’s not a fetish, but when someone exclusively dates big women, that’s on a similar level to fetish. Some men have a “fat fetish”, and that’s a fact. They’re sexually aroused by the sight of all that fat, all those layers. Personally, I’m not into larger women, but to each their own."
    La meva contesta: "Segons tu que algú disposi d'una identitat sexual vol dir que és fetitxista. Com que també dius que ets primerer, aplica-t'ho primer de tot a tu mateix. i en acabat tens prou feina a anar-ho escampant a tots els qui pengen videus, com ara aquest, de baroners, de doners, de primerers, de jovencers. Que admetin que són fetitixistes i n'assumeixin el rol."
    My answer: "According to you, someone who has a sexual identity means that he is a fetishist. Because you say that you are a *thin-admirer, apply yourself firstly. Afterwards you have a hard work to convince all those who hang videos, such as this one, who are *male-admirer, *female-admirers, *thin-admirers or *young-admirers, that they admit/accept to be fetitshist and to assume the role of fetishist."

    [the sign * means 'circumstantial/tried translation of a identify or identity term'and the neologism 'cacofemisme' < 'cacophemism'.]
    [translated by translate.google, en.wiktionary, multilingue.cat]
    -jordi isant
    ps. I've just checked that 'cacophemism' already exists in English. I do not understand if with the same meaning in Catalan.
     
    waldo likes this.
  12. Jun 1, 2019 #12

    happily_married

    happily_married

    happily_married

    Happy to be part of Dims!

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2012
    Messages:
    1,325
    Likes Received:
    730
    Location:
    ,
    Wow the similarities here...I can really identify with a lot this guy said.
     
    Aqw likes this.
  13. Jun 1, 2019 #13

    BHM4SSBBWs

    BHM4SSBBWs

    BHM4SSBBWs

    com més gras millor

    Joined:
    May 29, 2018
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Catalunya, 1971.
    esmenes en el meu escrit / corrections in my writing:

    on diu 'tampoc insultarien amb l'adverbi hiperbòlic 'truly' (vertaderament) ha de dir '... amb la redundància adverbial 'truly' (vertaderament)
    where i said 'they would not insult with the hyperbolic adverb' really '(really) must say ' ... with adverbial redundancy 'truly'

    cacofemisme: 'cacophomism' must say 'cacophemism'

    l'Esvelt: "unless he is (much) thinner than *Slimman" i would rather translate / it would have been better to tell of it "... than *Slimone/Slimbody".

    "Val a dir que un jove potser sí que s'ho farà dir, superjove, per gendrisme." = "it must be said that a young one maybe say so about himself: super-young. But he'd say that cause of *young-sexism."

    També volia dir que hi ha, i no pas pocs, comentaris no sexistes; i fins i tot positius.
    I also wanted to say that there are obvious non-sexist comments; and even positive.

    com a exemples: "There is so much beauty and love shown here, grateful for it!" (bre willy)
    "Yessss the Venus of Willendorf! ❤ Love it! You guys are adorably cute! I love this relationship."
    "2 people who definitely are made for each other .Trueeeeee Loveree I See..Congratulations."
    Malauradament no n'hi ha tantes com de sexistes explícites.
    Unfortunately, this kind of comments do not abound as much as explicit sexists.


    casos mitjancers/ cases in the middle: "I can see why he's in love with her. She has a beautiful soul."
    la meva contesta: "El que té ella és un cos galdós i una cara gaia. Per això l'aufil se n'ha enamorat."
    my answer: "What she has is a beautiful body and a pretty face. That's why the *thinman has fallen in love."

    "Sweet girl, and stylish too! Love the venus necklace:)" (Lissi Kete)
    la meva contesta: "M'estimo més el seu coll, clatell, pap i la cara rodona d'angel."
    my answer: "i prefer her neck, her back of the neck, her double chin and her ange's round face."


    [the sign * means 'circumstantial/tried translation of a identify or identity term']
    [translated by translate.google, en.wiktionary, multilingue.cat]
    -jordi isant
     
    waldo likes this.
  14. Jun 1, 2019 #14

    Unbasher

    Unbasher

    Unbasher

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2018
    Messages:
    388
    Likes Received:
    547
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Germany
    @waldo: She's not German. I am, and I would recognize the accent ;)
     
    DragonFly and waldo like this.
  15. Jun 2, 2019 #15

    waldo

    waldo

    waldo

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2006
    Messages:
    388
    Likes Received:
    109
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    usa
    Any idea on her country of origin, Belgium maybe? It obviously doesn't make any difference, just curious.
     
  16. Jun 3, 2019 #16

    agouderia

    agouderia

    agouderia

    Library Girl Staff Member Library Mod

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2008
    Messages:
    2,548
    Likes Received:
    519
    Location:
    ,
    That's a lesser known UK accent for you - my guess would be somewhere from near the Scottish border.
    Maybe one of our resident Brits here can give more detail.
    Definitely native English, not continental Europe.
     
    waldo likes this.
  17. Jun 4, 2019 #17

    waldo

    waldo

    waldo

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2006
    Messages:
    388
    Likes Received:
    109
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    usa
    Ah yes makes sense! Thanks for the info.
     
  18. Jun 4, 2019 #18

    BHM4SSBBWs

    BHM4SSBBWs

    BHM4SSBBWs

    com més gras millor

    Joined:
    May 29, 2018
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Catalunya, 1971.
    "You can be fat and still be sexy . It all depends on how you feel about yourself." (waldo's quote)

    La paraula 'encara / tot i així' ('still') és ofensiva, per sexista en un context que es referix als grassos. Això fa que l'altre mot 'depèn' ('depends') també ho sigui.
    The word 'still' is offensive, for sexist in a context that refers to fat ones. This causes the other word 'depends' also offend.

    Jo en diria: Has de ser gras si vols ser sexy. Saber-ho depèn de tu.
    I would say: You must be fat if you want to be sexy. Knowing it depends on you.

    Elizabeth Taylor mai no ho va voler saber.
    Elizabeth Taylor never wanted to know it.

    -jordi
    - e-translators
     
  19. Aug 3, 2019 #19

    GeeseHoward

    GeeseHoward

    GeeseHoward

    Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2019
    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    27
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Exeter uk
    Barcroft love doing minidocs on all of this kinda stuff... They've done tons...
     
    DragonFly and John Smith like this.

Share This Page