Oh My, You American Men are Fat, or: How I Became an American Citizen

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Melian

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I always thought that Canadian and American men were, on average, the same size....I was wrong.

I've just flown into Washington, DC, for a conference and it is like night and day compared to the men of Toronto. We are talking sensory overload, here; I will not be incredibly productive on this trip.

Seriously though, you Americans know how to do it right. When I got to the hotel, they gave me a warm, fresh cookie at the check-in. Then in the room, there is a card to evaluate service - the first question is "Did we welcome you with a warm chocolate chip cookie at check-in?"

Hahaha! Cheers, Americans (your FFAs are spoiled!)!!
 

Kahlan_FFA

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Hehe I kinda had a similar thing happen. I went to a gaming con and I swear it was like a buffet of chubby cuties. :D So yay for the BIG nerd community.
 

protuberance

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What hotel was this? Free WARM cookies? The only the free at hotels is the attitudes of the shitstains who work there.
 

Melian

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Yeah, it was even warm. I don't know...maybe someone rubbed their ass on it until it warmed up...but it tasted good, and I didn't die, so no complaints :p
 

Uriel

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Hehe I kinda had a similar thing happen. I went to a gaming con and I swear it was like a buffet of chubby cuties. :D So yay for the BIG nerd community.
Haha, yep. I always say that when I go to Gencon (Indianapolis), I feel 'Svelte'.

Really, ladies, you should take up Gaming, it is a massive collection of fat men, and most are really and genuinely nice fellows, once they get past the fact that you are actually talking to them with interest. Just be ready for the inevitable 'Wanna see my Miniatures?' They are talking about little monsters, not...Ahem.

:D


-Uriel
 

StridentDionysus

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Hey, drop by Mexico City sometime and you wont be disappointed either. ;):p

You can also go to a border town, fat men + adventure (fire fights daily) :p
 

Uriel

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Haha, yep. I always say that when I go to Gencon (Indianapolis), I feel 'Svelte'.

Really, ladies, you should take up Gaming, it is a massive collection of fat men, and most are really and genuinely nice fellows, once they get past the fact that you are actually talking to them with interest. Just be ready for the inevitable 'Wanna see my Miniatures?' They are talking about little monsters, not...Ahem.

:D


-Uriel


Pick up lines for girls hunting for fat boys at a Game Con

1: I hear there is an All-You-Can-Eat Wings place across the street, you could sort your Magic cards while we eat...(And bat eyes at him)

2: 'Whoa, Aren't YOU a Save Vs. Sexxy Beast, DC 30!' (And bat eyes at him)

3: You look just like (Insert fave fat guy character from Anime)...And bat eyes at him, maybe Wink.

4: 'OMG, What Ever will I do? I accidentally ordered a XL Meat Lovers Deluxe for the room, and my Roomies are all watching Akira in the Convention Hall... If only some brave, hungry Soul could help me finish it...Ack! There's a 2-Liter of Mountain Dew there as well...
Plus, I need help sorting through my D&D Minis before the big tournament tomorrow!(Sigh, whilst batting eyes at him and maybe a little tongue-sticking out might help)

5: 'I :smitten:: Fat Boy Paladins!' on a T-Shirt (Um, maybe wearing it, and jiggling around so as to show how much you Heart fat Boy Paladins? :D

6: 'Me: Aphrodite, You: Hephaestus!' I'd say Ares...but he isn't a BHM, and besides... Aphrodite+Ares is Cheating, and that isn't cool. She always went running back to Hephaestus anyways...for the real good Lovin'... Oh, Um, Eye-batting actually worked on him in some stories, so, Yeah, bat those lashes, Girls...

7: 'If you are the Runelord of Gluttony, then I'm the Runelady of Lust, Baby!' Maybe a leer instead of eye-batting...Oh, and have a heart. Some of these poor boys aren't used to hotties approaching them,so only use this line on a guy who looks like he can take it (And who appears to have his own room at the Con. Who wants to follow that line with a visit, to find that there are 4 other nerds crammed into the room, playing Risk...

8: 'Hi, I'm a 12th Level Succubus Courtesan, care to lose a few Levels in my room tonight?' This should need no eye-batting..

9: 'Um, wanna help me make a new character? I have the Book of Erotic Fantasy in my room...'

10: 'Hey there Cutie, I thought you might like to help me LARP a scene from my Chun Li/E Honda Fanfic Opera... Bet my Lightning-Kick can beat your Hundred-Hand-Slap, wanna find out>' Grin and look tough at him...it should do the trick.


-Uriel
 

Esther

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Pick up lines for girls hunting for fat boys at a Game Con

1: I hear there is an All-You-Can-Eat Wings place across the street, you could sort your Magic cards while we eat...(And bat eyes at him)

2: 'Whoa, Aren't YOU a Save Vs. Sexxy Beast, DC 30!' (And bat eyes at him)

3: You look just like (Insert fave fat guy character from Anime)...And bat eyes at him, maybe Wink.

4: 'OMG, What Ever will I do? I accidentally ordered a XL Meat Lovers Deluxe for the room, and my Roomies are all watching Akira in the Convention Hall... If only some brave, hungry Soul could help me finish it...Ack! There's a 2-Liter of Mountain Dew there as well...
Plus, I need help sorting through my D&D Minis before the big tournament tomorrow!(Sigh, whilst batting eyes at him and maybe a little tongue-sticking out might help)

5: 'I :smitten:: Fat Boy Paladins!' on a T-Shirt (Um, maybe wearing it, and jiggling around so as to show how much you Heart fat Boy Paladins? :D

6: 'Me: Aphrodite, You: Hephaestus!' I'd say Ares...but he isn't a BHM, and besides... Aphrodite+Ares is Cheating, and that isn't cool. She always went running back to Hephaestus anyways...for the real good Lovin'... Oh, Um, Eye-batting actually worked on him in some stories, so, Yeah, bat those lashes, Girls...

7: 'If you are the Runelord of Gluttony, then I'm the Runelady of Lust, Baby!' Maybe a leer instead of eye-batting...Oh, and have a heart. Some of these poor boys aren't used to hotties approaching them,so only use this line on a guy who looks like he can take it (And who appears to have his own room at the Con. Who wants to follow that line with a visit, to find that there are 4 other nerds crammed into the room, playing Risk...

8: 'Hi, I'm a 12th Level Succubus Courtesan, care to lose a few Levels in my room tonight?' This should need no eye-batting..

9: 'Um, wanna help me make a new character? I have the Book of Erotic Fantasy in my room...'

10: 'Hey there Cutie, I thought you might like to help me LARP a scene from my Chun Li/E Honda Fanfic Opera... Bet my Lightning-Kick can beat your Hundred-Hand-Slap, wanna find out>' Grin and look tough at him...it should do the trick.


-Uriel
I just laughed sooo hard at all of this.
Dating a gamer can be tough though, trust me, I know from experience!! I had to pry the boy away from WOW, even boobies didn't work against it sometimes!
 

Uriel

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I just laughed sooo hard at all of this.
Dating a gamer can be tough though, trust me, I know from experience!! I had to pry the boy away from WOW, even boobies didn't work against it sometimes!
I'm an Old-School gamer...dice, little monsters, inagination, no WoW for me. Yes, I know your pain...

I know a girl who actually said to her BF (While he was playing WoW)
'Well, guess I'll go find someone else who wants to F&#k me, cause I sure am HORNY right now...' He nodded, barely paying attention, mumbled 'Ok, see you later, baby... 'as he continued to type away on whatever battle he was engaged in.



:D


-Uriel
 

Ninja Glutton

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Yeah, it was even warm. I don't know...maybe someone rubbed their ass on it until it warmed up...but it tasted good, and I didn't die, so no complaints :p
I wish I could share that cookie with you :(

Why must my professors be so strict about attendance? If I wasn't graduating next semester, I'd blow it off in a second to share a hotel room with you two lovely babes.
 

butch

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I always thought that Canadian and American men were, on average, the same size....I was wrong.

I've just flown into Washington, DC, for a conference and it is like night and day compared to the men of Toronto. We are talking sensory overload, here; I will not be incredibly productive on this trip.

Seriously though, you Americans know how to do it right. When I got to the hotel, they gave me a warm, fresh cookie at the check-in. Then in the room, there is a card to evaluate service - the first question is "Did we welcome you with a warm chocolate chip cookie at check-in?"

Hahaha! Cheers, Americans (your FFAs are spoiled!)!!
I live in DC, coulda told you this. :) Spend a little time on the Metro, and you'll see cute fatties of all races, ethnicities, socio-economic classes, and genders. And DC isn't even one of America's Fattest Cities!

Have a great time at the conference. PM me if you want to meet up or need any suggestions from a local.
 

Tad

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The great white north, eh?
Ah, conferences offer great chances to be a fat-tourist (not a tourist who is fat, but somebody soaking in the fat scenery!). On the way to a conference I once had ninety minutes to cool my heels in the airport in Reno, Nevada. It is not a very big airport, and didn’t have much to do (other than play slots, which didn’t appeal). So I grabbed a coffee at the one available café, which happened to along the path that all arriving passengers came out along.

Never in my entire life have I seen so much fat on parade. It totally boggled my mind. All ages, genders, ethnicities came pouring past, and while they weren’t all fat I don’t think there was ever a moment when there were not fat folk passing by, except when nobody at all was going by. I was almost reluctant to leave when it was time to go grab the shuttle bus. But I doubt I’ll ever forget the experience—it was a perfect time and place to be an omni-FA!

Although, I have to say Melian, you don’t have to fly all the way to DC to see more fat guys. In general you just need to get out of Toronto (and the other big cities). When driving from Ottawa to Toronto, I often stop for lunch or dinner in the Quinte Mall in Belleville. That it is half way along the route is just a nice excuse. Going from Ottawa to Kitchener I’d also notice a shift towards the hefty. So I suggest maybe you need to plan some more outing to smaller towns. By the by, the Orillia maple sugar festival is on in a few weeks ;)
 

fat hiker

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Although, I have to say Melian, you don’t have to fly all the way to DC to see more fat guys. In general you just need to get out of Toronto (and the other big cities). When driving from Ottawa to Toronto, I often stop for lunch or dinner in the Quinte Mall in Belleville. That it is half way along the route is just a nice excuse. Going from Ottawa to Kitchener I’d also notice a shift towards the hefty. So I suggest maybe you need to plan some more outing to smaller towns. By the by, the Orillia maple sugar festival is on in a few weeks ;)
Very, very true - even going from Toronto to Hamilton increases the average girth, let alone Guelph or smaller places. (From Ottawa, try Smiths Falls or Carleton Place.)

But, American fat is also very impressive. When I was transferred from Ottawa to Atlanta, I remember noting that the average male waistline grew substantially - I certainly wasn't as much a BHM down there! (and this was over a decade ago). Where a 'regular' jeans shop in Canada would have 40 or 42 as its biggest size, there 46 or 48 was suddenly 'regular'.
 

iheartsquishys

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Pick up lines for girls hunting for fat boys at a Game Con...
-Uriel
I don't know anything about gaming so I'd feel like a tool using your pick up lines and them finding out latter that I was a fake however I had heard of the appeal of gaming conventions. Last time one was in town I went and wore a shirt that said "I'm only here for the fatties." Some people were offended but some weren't at all. :D
 

Uriel

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I don't know anything about gaming so I'd feel like a tool using your pick up lines and them finding out latter that I was a fake however I had heard of the appeal of gaming conventions. Last time one was in town I went and wore a shirt that said "I'm only here for the fatties." Some people were offended but some weren't at all. :D
Well, the I :smitten: Fat Boy Paladins * is pretty easy...someone should put that on a T-Shirt.


* Sub Wizards, Knights, Sorcerers, Rogues, Whatever...

-Uriel
 

topher38

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Now when I lived in Missisauga there was one 400ish pound fat man down at the bar every time I was there...oh wait that was me NM
 

Melian

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Arg...I'm rushing off to a lecture now...can't respond to everything, but:

I wish I could share that cookie with you :(

Why must my professors be so strict about attendance? If I wasn't graduating next semester, I'd blow it off in a second to share a hotel room with you two lovely babes.
Might be MORE...see below. BTW, one skipped class never failed anyone :rolleyes:
(also, the meeting has moved to tomorrow and will be a St Patrick's day boozefest, with crashing at my hotel)


I live in DC, coulda told you this. :) Spend a little time on the Metro, and you'll see cute fatties of all races, ethnicities, socio-economic classes, and genders. And DC isn't even one of America's Fattest Cities!

Have a great time at the conference. PM me if you want to meet up or need any suggestions from a local.
Consider yourself PM'd :happy:

Ah, conferences offer great chances to be a fat-tourist (not a tourist who is fat, but somebody soaking in the fat scenery!). On the way to a conference I once had ninety minutes to cool my heels in the airport in Reno, Nevada. It is not a very big airport, and didn’t have much to do (other than play slots, which didn’t appeal). So I grabbed a coffee at the one available café, which happened to along the path that all arriving passengers came out along.

Never in my entire life have I seen so much fat on parade. It totally boggled my mind. All ages, genders, ethnicities came pouring past, and while they weren’t all fat I don’t think there was ever a moment when there were not fat folk passing by, except when nobody at all was going by. I was almost reluctant to leave when it was time to go grab the shuttle bus. But I doubt I’ll ever forget the experience—it was a perfect time and place to be an omni-FA!

Although, I have to say Melian, you don’t have to fly all the way to DC to see more fat guys. In general you just need to get out of Toronto (and the other big cities). When driving from Ottawa to Toronto, I often stop for lunch or dinner in the Quinte Mall in Belleville. That it is half way along the route is just a nice excuse. Going from Ottawa to Kitchener I’d also notice a shift towards the hefty. So I suggest maybe you need to plan some more outing to smaller towns. By the by, the Orillia maple sugar festival is on in a few weeks ;)
Hm...my parents are getting a place in Orillia. Maybe I will be a good daughter and visit them more often.
 
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