oy, it's letters to people and things, part deuce!

Dimensions Magazine

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TraciJo67

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 11, 2005
Messages
4,873
Location
,
Dear OWA:

I went gambling on Saturday and lost my entire paycheck. Do you think you could float me a loan until I get paid again? I have bills to pay, after all.

Love,
Freeloading Effie

Dear Freeloading Fannie,

How dare you contact me the way you did asking for a loan. If you don't have the means to leave from somewhere, you have no business going to there. It's not as if you were already at the location and were suddenly stranded. You haven't even left for the destination, yet you're asking for a loan to help you get back home? WTF? Who the hell do you think you're playing?

We are barely acquaintances. You were visiting; I was in a very good mood, had a little extra money and happily being frivolous by treating you (but mostly me) to a fantastic meal at one of my favorite restaurants. That was by no means an invitation for you to think you can freeload off me.

Signed,
You Must Think I'm Effin' Stupid
 

Green Eyed Fairy

Keeps on dancing
Joined
Sep 18, 2006
Messages
18,457
Location
In Your Head
Dear FreeLoading Fannie,

Stop wasting your time.....just go straight to TraciJo to get a loan. We all know she has money....duh :doh:

Signed,
Captain Obvious
 

Green Eyed Fairy

Keeps on dancing
Joined
Sep 18, 2006
Messages
18,457
Location
In Your Head
Dear Constantly Aching Head,

I was worried that you are a sign of something bad. I hoped much that you were simply aggravated from sinus allergies....but alas, my old friend high BP is having it's way with me again. The nice guy who works at the firehouse got a reading of 140/92 this evening. That extra six pounds I quickly put on since a few days ago was another sure sign....of me retaining fluid that needs to get out of my bloodstream.

All the walking hasn't been enough.....I NEED my medication bumped back up after the short lived happiness of seeing it lowered. This is very disappointing. I would like to live a life free of dependency on medication....but if I need it to avoid having a stroke, then I will take it religiously.
Age and weight gain has not been friendly.....and it seems that the WW point system is looming up ahead in the near future.
I want to live long enough to see my children grow up.....so here's to hoping you feel much better soon.

Moi
 

TraciJo67

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 11, 2005
Messages
4,873
Location
,
Dear FreeLoading Fannie,

Stop wasting your time.....just go straight to TraciJo to get a loan. We all know she has money....duh :doh:

Signed,
Captain Obvious
Dear Geffie,

It is true that I have money.

About 97 cents, to be precise.

Unless you count the untapped limit on my credit cards, in which case it would be 97 cents plus four dollars.

I also have a half-eaten cinammon bagelful, but back the eff off. It's mine.
 

Suze

Too Vanilla For You
Joined
Jan 15, 2007
Messages
2,880
Location
,
dear r
thanks so much for being your normal awesome self. i'm tempted to switch out my bestfriend with you.

your very pleased customer
- I
 

mossystate

flicks a booger on conrad
Joined
Mar 7, 2006
Messages
10,071
Location
,
Dear leftover Chinese food,

While I am starving, you were horrible the fist time...like, gross horrible. Please tell me to dump you and find some good vittles. Oh, and, would the new vittles mind making themselves?


Famished in North Seattle,

MossyM


*eta...I just ate a few peanuts...bulk peanuts...bulk peanuts that were obviously not rotated....* barf smiley *...roomie done bad
 

SparklingBBW

What's new pussycat?
Joined
Jan 14, 2006
Messages
471
Location
,
Dear RL..'s

If someone had told me a couple years ago that you actually existed, I would have laughed my ass off and followed that up with words you have undoubtably heard before that included things like "bullshit", "one or two suicidal psychos","No 'effin way...", etc. I might have been more ready to believe that people have been beamed up by aliens, or wizards, vampires, and werewolves were real as well. Some of you prefer that people discover your existence on their own, and others are quite public about it. I found you at a time in my life when I was ready to acknowledge you existed. There seems to be well over 300 of you, probably many more that haven't made themselves known yet. IMHO there needs to be about 300,000 of you. YES, I do think that some of you are a few Froot Loops short of a well-balanced breakfast, but in a good way. I never liked the green ones anyway. What the heck are those supposed to be? They sure aren't lime.

Many of you possess impressive investigative skills, and are undoubtably reading this after I discovered you. In your line of work, a little paranoia will keep you around longer. Like I've told you, I can never become one of you, but I have decided to help you in any way I can, within reason (I'm still not sure what I can do for you). I have a wife who shares much of my view on life and wasn't TOO surprised to find out you were real. She has stated that any decision I make is going to affect her, and of course she is 100% correct, so I won't be joining your ranks, at least on the front lines. Since you're here reading this, there are some of you that may not have known we exist either! Welcome. OK, nowhere NEAR as strange, but this is part of who I am. I'm not screaming things from the rooftops, but I don't really keep a lot of secrets like you people need to. You seem to be quite an accepting and very non judgemental bunch, so I think the whole fat acceptance thing will register as a no big deal. There might even be an FA or two among you, and dare I even assume perhaps a BHM or BBW (fat man or fat woman). If this is not the case, PLEASE don’t blow off someone from working with you just because they happen to be fat. I’d be kidding myself if I thought I could do what you can, but as some of you have said, each of you works in your own way. Wait and see what we are capable of and I think you'll discover we are people just like you with our own unique capabilities.

As to Dimensions people trying to figure out whose Koolaid I've been drinking, I'm not going to come right out and say it, I'll leave that up to you to find out. It isn't too hard to figure out really, but you have to be in a certain frame of mind to discover and accept it, like I was. I'm not going to directly invite ridicule on these people (we ALL know how that feels, now don't we?) so just Google around a bit, or you can say "WTF?" and ignore me. If you have the ah-ha! moment, keep it to yourself or PM me, some of these people don't like publicity, but some do.

There really are more things in Heaven and Earth than can possibly be imagined.

I'll part with a wish that I really hope nobody gets killed, including yourselves. Be safe. You are doing a good thing, no matter what the world may think of you.

Yours truly, drinking the Koolaid, and not eating all of his Froot Loops.

Okay...I'll take the first guess: Republican Lesbians?

Well, I don't think there is such an entity! :doh:

.
 

butch

cuddly, hairy, and fat
Joined
Mar 16, 2006
Messages
2,329
Location
,
Okay...I'll take the first guess: Republican Lesbians?

Well, I don't think there is such an entity! :doh:

.
Dear Genarose54,

Honey, we are legion. Just ask my partner, or my dad, Darth Vader.

Sincerely,
Mary Cheney
 

mossystate

flicks a booger on conrad
Joined
Mar 7, 2006
Messages
10,071
Location
,
Dear person,

Stop. Just...stop...or....you get the hose. No, not THAT kind. This is the problem. Really. :blink:


Uncoiling and making sure the water is plenty cold,
M
 

BigBeautifulMe

That was a heart.
Joined
Oct 4, 2006
Messages
7,419
Location
,
Dear person,

Stop. Just...stop...or....you get the hose. No, not THAT kind. This is the problem. Really. :blink:


Uncoiling and making sure the water is plenty cold,
M
Dear Mossy,

I owe you rep. Inches and inches and inches... of rep.
 

Tooz

sweet chocolate christ
Joined
Mar 30, 2006
Messages
5,085
Location
,
Dear Scumbucket:

Take your meds and gtfo. Your uncontrolled Borderline Personality Disorder is just annoying now. No one wants your opinion, no one has ever wanted your opinion, and I don't know a single female who isn't creeped out 100% by you.


GO AWAY.

-Tooz
 

shinyapple

crunchy in milk
Joined
Aug 4, 2008
Messages
282
Location
,
Dear Random Driver -

Just in case you weren't aware, the giant Confederate flag sticker on your back window that you think makes you such a badass?

It's extraordinarily ineffective in your quest because:

a) you are a skinny 19-year-old boy in Utah
b) you are wearing a striped Polo shirt, have flat-ironed hair and are listening to Fall Out Boy

but most of alll.....

c) you put the sticker on the back of a white Geo Metro.

Nice try, but you fail.

Signed,
The Fat Girl Laughing Behind You
 

Chimpi

into the shining sun
Joined
Feb 5, 2006
Messages
2,795
Location
,
Dear Person,

You carry yourself in a manner that is desirable at worst. You're immune to the rest because you are exactly who you wish to be. Even the people that criticize you tend to flock in your direction. I find it highly admirable to be such a person. You're entertaining and interesting. Moreover, you're delightful and pleasurable. You really tend to take my breath away.
Thanks for being the good example,

Jeffrey.

P.S. The whole "Jeffrey" thing makes me all warm and fuzzy.
P.S.S. Delete some years off your age, please.
 
S

saucywench

Dear Mossy,

I owe you rep. Inches and inches and inches... of rep.
Dammit, I was gonna cover for you, but, alas, my bestowing was all too soon.

I've been trying to figure out for DAYS how to express that singular sentiment, and Mossy did a bang-up job.

Yes. I said 'bang.' Ready the hose! (But I got you for 'inches.')

But
 

gypsy

gone
Joined
Oct 19, 2005
Messages
670
Location
,
Dear Bladder and Uterus,

You planned this, didn't you?

I just couldn't go another day without hearing from BOTH of you at the same time.

Naggin' bitches.

Signed,

Have I Got A Pill For You.
 

Admiral_Snackbar

Veni, vidi, Lionel Richie
Joined
Jan 2, 2007
Messages
2,919
Location
,
Dear Deer:

Bad enough you have acres of forest to roam and eat and poop in, why do you have to invade the road? This is my road! Get off of it!

I really do not wish to decorate my hood with your entrails. Maybe this is karmic revenge for masturbating during that one scene in Bambi... :confused:
 

Catkin

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 27, 2007
Messages
156
Location
,
Dear best friend number 1,

Ahh, I can't believe we're turning 21! I can't wait for the weekend - it's going to be brilliant! Looking forward to catching up with you too :D I love where I live now and all, but I miss you like crazy sometimes.

See you on Friday!

Moi xxx

____________________________

Dear sun,

if you decide to avoid South-west England this weekend, I will KILL YOU.

Consider yourself warned.
 

undrcovrbrothr

Beach nut
Joined
Apr 19, 2009
Messages
787
Location
,
Dear Life,

Yes, it is me again....

Give my good friend peace of mind... help her when she needs help the most!!!! I don't want to see her agonize anymore when she really is a great person. Make all of those demons go away... suffering is what she does not need.

UCB
 

Famouslastwords

Iaintnogoddamnsonofabitch
Joined
Jan 26, 2007
Messages
3,165
Location
,
Dear Lottery,

Yes, bitch, it's me. Let me win you, or a small portion of you tonight and I'll happily fellate you. Man, I need the money. Be good to mama. I'll spend you wisely.

Signed,

FLW
 
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